Stupid stuff that comes to mind that we want to post

In the run down lawless part of the city. Went to a pirate bar as a party of underage boarding school kids. There’s a skeleton with an eye patch working as a waiter with a sign around his neck that reads DON’T TURN ME, I WORK HERE. Ranger student walks up to the barkeep.

Ranger: What’s with the skeleton?
Barkeep: Oh, Dead Tom? He’s my best mate from my old sailing days. He was such a good hand, we just couldn’t bare to let him go.
Ranger: …. okay. Did he get the eye patch before or after he died?
Barkeep: Oh, he’s always had an eye patch as long as I’ve known him.
Ranger: Yeah, but he’s a skeleton now; what’s he need it for?
Barkeep: He wouldn’t say…
Ranger: Why not?
Barkeep <leans in close to whisper in the ranger’s ear>: Dead men tell no tales…