Lewd Talk Thread [NSFW]

Background Pony #17C6
I… I had sex with a prostitute once back in 2017 and I haven’t admitted it to anyone both offline or online until now. It was random, I wasn’t out “cruising” for a hooker that night or anything but was on my way home from work (single guy in an apartment, so no cheating or anything like that) and when I stopped at some streetlights this porn star-tier brunette sauntered along to my window and was like “You want me baby?” and without thinking I was like “Yeah get in”. I brought her back to my apartment (which in hindsight was really not a good idea), went into my bedroom and I got a bj and sex, then I paid her $250 and she left and must’ve got a taxi or something. It was the only time I’ve paid for sex and was a big impulse that could’ve easily gone wrong (sting or otherwise caught, stuff stolen from apartment, etc…).
Lord WyrmSpawN
Solar Supporter - Fought against the New Lunar Republic rebellion on the side of the Solar Deity (April Fools 2023).
Non-Fungible Trixie -
Thread Starter - MLP G5 Discussion and Speculation Thread
My Little Pony - 1992 Edition
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Lingering Wyvern
@Background Pony #17C6  
Understandable. Sounds like you got a deal compared to the stripper that offered something worth $400 in her eyes; happened on my recent vacation.
 
But i was pretty mesmerized at the time, even though i didn’t fall for it.
Background Pony #17C6
@WyrmSpawN  
I wasn’t a virgin before that and the thought of doing something like that never really crossed my mind before, it was just an impulse (it also helped that the girl was extremely hot, like way more than I’d expect a streetwalker to be) and I went with it. Glad that it turned out okay but a part of me has always been a bit ashamed.
 
$400, ouch. Still you had more willpower than me, I’d have probably gone for it.
Lord WyrmSpawN
Solar Supporter - Fought against the New Lunar Republic rebellion on the side of the Solar Deity (April Fools 2023).
Non-Fungible Trixie -
Thread Starter - MLP G5 Discussion and Speculation Thread
My Little Pony - 1992 Edition
Wallet After Summer Sale -
Friendship, Art, and Magic (2019) - Celebrated Derpibooru's seventh year anniversary with friends.
Friendship, Art, and Magic (2018) - Celebrated Derpibooru's six year anniversary with friends.
Not a Llama - Happy April Fools Day!
Friendship, Art, and Magic (2017) - Celebrated Derpibooru's five year anniversary with friends.
The End wasn't The End - Found a new home after the great exodus of 2012

Lingering Wyvern
Thought of a scenario of exploring alien genitalia:
 
“I take it these are much different than most earthen creatures?”  
“Yeah, our stuff is pretty simple compared to-Jesus Christ! What do you even do with this many holes!?”  
“Keep probing them like that and I may have to show you❤.”
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