Lewd Talk Thread [NSFW]

@Broken Adam  
Dafuq is this?

I spent 3 hours translating porn.
 
At first I was doing it because of one image set that I really wanted to know the dialogue of.
 
I then spent the rest of the time doing it for amusement.
 
I mean, I also enjoy data entry, so slowly and methodically turning one thing into another thing is something I like doing.
 
Now, every piece of Japanese porn I have is at least partially translated.
 
And before you ask, I totally just Chinese Room’d that shit. I don’t speak a lick of Japanese.

Your own personal jesus

@Broken Adam
 
Dick is your own personal Jesus.

|| I want a cute girl to compliment my hair||

@TwilyIsBestPone  
next time it better go all the way through

Sex education?

@Prince Areo  
Porn in disguised.

Marcille form Dungeon Meshi is so cute.

@Count Adramélekh Sear  
Can I suck

I was going to clop but my balls got in the way.
 
I punched myself 😐

“I’m not picky, i just wanna get sticky.”

@WyrmSpawN  
I approve of this sentiment.

@Badheart  
I know that feeling.

Can you even begin to imagine what it would be like if western animation had a porno branch of industry even half as expansive and wide-reaching as hentai?
 
It sounds nice, but I can’t comprehend what it would look like.

@WyrmSpawN  
Nobody out here has the spine.

@Badheart  
I have two, need a spare?

I saved every letter you wrote me  
From the moment I saw you  
I knew you were mine  
You said you were mine  
I thought you were mine  
Do you know what Angelica said  
When I told her what you’d done?  
She said  
“You have married an Icarus  
He has flown too close to the sun”  
Don’t take another step in my direction  
I can’t be trusted around you  
Don’t think you can talk your way  
Into my arms, into my arms  
I’m burning the letters you wrote me  
You can stand over there if you want  
I don’t know who you are  
I have so much to learn  
I’m re-reading your letters  
And watching them burn (burn)  
I’m watching them burn (burn)  
You published the letters she wrote to you  
You told the whole world  
How you brought this girl into our bed  
In clearing your name, you have ruined our lives  
Heaven forbid someone whisper  
“He’s part of some scheme”  
Your enemy whispers  
So you have to scream  
I know about whispers  
I see how you look at my sister  
Don’t  
I’m not naive  
I have seen women around you  
Don’t  
Think I don’t see  
How they fall for your charms  
All your charms  
I’m erasing myself from the narrative  
Let future historians wonder how Eliza reacted  
When you broke her heart  
You have thrown it all away  
Stand back, watch it burn  
Just watch it all burn  
And when the time comes  
Explain to the children  
The pain and embarrassment  
You put their mother through  
When will you learn  
That they are your legacy?  
We are your legacy  
If you thought you were mine (mine, mine)  
Don’t

Adventures in Tinder, Part 5:
 
Okay, I matched with a pretty cute girl on Tinder. Let’s see what her bio looks li—  

…UNMATCH