DarkObsidian 
Smiling Panzerfuchs 2.0
Greetings!
In the prelude to a fanfiction of mine I am looking for someone who would like to proofread. Friendliness is not an absolute must, but I prefer constructive criticism of a general devastation of my work at any time. At least I’m trying to translate my words into English. I hope this attempt alone meets with a certain kind of benevolence. ;-)
As I said, I am not a native English speaker. My mother tongue is German. Therefore, there are many expressions that I fear will be lost in English, or that in some places I express myself unnecessarily complicated.
I am currently writing an MLP fanfiction in the term of Equestria at War. The tag here on Derpibooru is “Equestria at War mod”. Whoever corrects me doesn’t have to be a fan of the game or the mod, but at least I hope that he or she will enjoy my words. I will post my texts here, and hope for a certain resonance. As I said, regarding the words, or the choice of words. Not the content. Or how much attention is paid to a detail. I don’t claim to be a good writer. This is just a hobby project in Corona times. ;-D
Here is the previous text. There’ll be more later.
EaW King’s Gambit - Prologue
From the Annals of Prelate Angelino Denali, Year of Change, 1007 ALB
The Griffonian Empire. Once, this over 300-year-old nation ruled almost the entire eastern hemisphere, stretching across most of the continent of Griffonia. At the height of its power about 200 years ago, the empire’s immense wealth and extensive influence were so great that it was able to establish flourishing colonies even on the northeastern coasts of the continent of Equus in the far west. At that time, even among the pony tribes and nations, especially in the western hemisphere, it was for a long time considered the strongest power in the world. But fate played a cruel fate on the imperial dynasty, and its empire would not last forever. The ways of the gods are truly mystical and inscrutable. Therefore, my dear reader, I now report on the very events that lead us to the circumstances of which it is actually to be to reported.
The Griffon folk has been calling the continent of Griffonia their home for over 900 years now, but in the past they have always lived in various wild tribes, which were characterized solely by their greed for wealth and power. Although storytellers, historians and bards agree that there is no written record of the origins of the griffons, our faith, and the spread of our species, tells us that only the Griffons are native to this continent of ours. Except for a few Minotaurs, Diamond dogs and strange creatures.
The empire, founded by Grover I of Griffonstone in 705 ALB (After Luna’s banishment), experienced from the beginning a flowering period blessed by the gods Boreas, Arcturius and Eyr. Slightly west of the heart of the continent, under the iron but just claws of the Griffonstone dynasty, the sphere of influence of their kingdom grew steadily. Probably made possible by the unique idol of Boreas, an ancient, sacred artifact that promised its owner infinite prosperity. With that very vile mammon, which is repugnant to a true believer of Boreas, Grover I. paid his troops, who even crossed the rugged Black Rock mountains for him, in order to subdue the peaceful peasants of my homeland. But I’ll go ahead.
Grover the First, with the help of the idol, succeeded in subjugating his two greatest rivals, the Kingdom of Aquileia and the Kingdom of Wingbardy, apart from attacking defenseless border regions. For the first time, a Griffon monarch had succeeded in doing what was previously considered impossible. Unification under a single ruler. The defeat of the two powerful neighbours made the kingdom of Griffonstone an empire. The ongoing conquest of the Griffonian Continent, led by the infamous warrior-emperor Grover II, son of the very first emperor, came to a sudden halt when his army invaded the areas in the east, which later became known as the river lands.
In 752 the mercenary troops of his father Grover I. had succeeded in capturing and sacking the rich lake city of Jezeragrad, but this act only led to the fact that there had arisen a republic of the same name, which united the surrounding nations under a common banner. The pony inhabitants who had been living in the river lands for several centuries, whose exact origin is lost in the fog of time, united in a great coalition and defeated together the imperial army in the valley of Coltovac. Shocking for the Griffonian Empire, Emperor Grover II fell in that battle and his defeated troops retreated to the western part of the continent with heavy losses. Since then, a griffon should never again place its claws on the bottom of the river lands. But this grave reproach would not be forgiven and would never be forgotten.
With the end of expansionism, many previously conquered noble families had time to conspire against the emperor’s young heir and began to see him as a foreign tyrant and no longer as a just ruler. Nevertheless, Emperor Grover III., the son of the warrior-emperor who died during the Battle of Coltovac, managed to hold the empire together for the time being and to secure the loyalty of most of his submissive lords and high ladies for many years. The young emperor was considered extremely charming and mastered social manners to perfection. Those who continued to oppose him and the supposedly legitimized rule of his family by the gods, and who dared to speak out publicly against the Griffonstone dynasty, allegedly disappeared overnight and without any trace. May Arcturius have mercy on their souls in the afterlife.
In order to secure his rather meagre claims to the throne, Grover III. also founded the imperial army, which would soon become the largest military force in the world. These fresh and young recruits, led by experienced veterans from the wars in the river lands, were sworn to the emperor alone from the beginning. They saw themselves as the defenders of a centuries-old dynasty and the only keepers of the true way of Griffon life.
One of his most important achievements for posterity, apart from the military superiority of his new legions, was to try to form a common imperial identity for all the peoples living in his realm, in order to unite the many cultures of his vast empire forever. To this day, almost all principalities of Griffonia and their noble families refer back to that epoch in order to legitimize their claim to dominion over their lands.
However, Grover’s successes should not survive the years of his own blood-related heir. During the reign of Grover IV., a true noble born statesman trained and experienced from his earliest childhood, who distinguished himself in particular in the administration of the empire, the first cracks in the very foundation of the empire appeared, which could no longer be reversed.
Grover the Fourth was, for all his predecessors rather unusual, even loved by common Griffons, and throughout his life he devoted himself much to the modernization of his empire made possible by the very first steam engines. But the immense popularity among the common people displeased much of the privileged nobility and influential members of that social class began to despise him as the favorite of the plebs. Increasingly disillusioned, they turned away from the central government in Griffenheim and turned from now on the more preferably to their own affairs. Actually, like they’ve always done.
When Grover IV died unexpectedly of a Stroke and left his son Grover V., who had been weak from birth, to succeed him in his office, the noble families took a bold step and formed a regency council to continue to rule the empire. The reason for their actions was the monarch’s sickly state of health. But the real decline of the empire only began when the ruling family of Griffonstone, a cadet branch of the Griffonstone dynasty, lost the idol of Boreas .
This was an ancient, sacred relic, which until then had symbolized the power and legitimacy of the imperial dynasty. It was stolen in 971 by an evil cyclops named Arimaspi, who also killed King Guto VI, a distant relative of Grover V. of Griffonstone, who had been employed by the emperor himself. With this loss, according to the accusation of much of the nobility, the gods of the Griffons were supposed to have left the empire and abandoned their folk. For outsiders this violent reaction may have been exaggerated at this time, but it should be remembered later how resentment within the ranks of the aristocrats had so far swelled. In any case, it didn’t take long, and the reign of the Griffonstone dynasty, which had lasted for more than 250 years until then, collapsed like a house of cards overnight. But maybe I should be a little more specific. May Eyr tell me the right words.
For centuries, Wingbardy, located in the deep south of the continent of Griffonia, was the jewel in the Griffonian crown. As one of the richest and wealthiest nations in the empire, it has always been a apple of discord that aroused the envy of the north. After the empire was united under Grover I. of Griffonstone, there were repeated attempts to suppress the wealth created by the massive superfluity of resources important to industry. This climaxed in 972 ALB, when King Gumberto died among suspicious moments for all involved, while he took part in a party in Griffenheim.
His son, the newly crowned King Garibald Talonuel III, demanded a full investigation of the incident from the Lords of Griffenheim and the imperial heartlands, but at that time his demands fell on deaf ears of the responsible institutions. In protest, Wingbardy officially separated from the Empire and took with him in a dramatic gesture his former vassals of Talouse, Franmisria and Arantiga, with whom it formed the so-called Karthinian League. The empire was powerless to protest because of the young sick emperor, the corrupt government council and the growing instability within its own bureaucracy, so that more and more nations of the South dared to follow Wingbardy’s example half out of solidarity, half out of healthy self-interest. Among the most prominent divisions were the Kingdom of Aquileia under the Discret family and the rather unknown Prywhen province.
Paralyzed by his own inability, 978 ALB the riots in the empire reached their climax. The empire was still under the arbitrary rule of the Council, and the imperial nobility, which had become increasingly power-hungry over the decades, prevented Grover V. from legally ascending the throne even after he had reached the age of majority. Again and again, all protest was silenced with reference to the emperor’s frail health. However, this unjust regency came to an abrupt end in the harsh winter of 978, when thousands of angry and starving farmers and soldiers from low-born families stormed the Imperial Palace in Griffenheim in a finale desperate act.
The emperor, completely overwhelmed by the hatred of the peasants, which simmered for a long time in secret, survived with the help of Archon Eros VII, the highest vicar of Boreas on this earth, and fled to the countryside, although many nobles, who were left behind by the fleeing imperial defenders in the imperial city, were lynched by the hysterical mob. When the flag of freedom finally waved on the highest tower of the palace, the revolutionaries, consisting mainly of many ideological splinter cells and conflicting interest groups, proclaimed a Griffonian Republic, which wanted to replace the empire. The revolutionaries were certain that they had finally driven the emperor and his lackeys out, but there was no blessing on their efforts.
In the general chaos, Ghislain Guichard, the cunning mayor of the continent’s largest port city, persuaded the Republican rebels to attack the Skyfall Imperial Garrison and seize the Imperial Fleet anchored there. When the attackers had destroyed the last imperial loyalists with heavy losses, Guichard ordered previously hired mercenaries to exterminate the last republican resistance fighters in the city. He himself confiscated the former imperial ships of the Imperial Navy and, with this powerful trump card up his sleeve, from then on formed an independent trade federation, which in later years successfully resisted the central imperial government.
Because in the year 979 the charismatic Duchess Gabriela Eagleclaw of Strawberry, a female cousin of Grovar V., called for a huge monarchist counterrevolution. Many aristocrats initially refused to follow this call to arms, but the events in Skyfall taught them a better one. If they did not try to help the weak emperor together now, they would soon all face their inevitable end through the blood-smeared hands of the revolutionary masses. And so a questionable alliance of the aristocrats around the heartland, the core territory of the empire, and Loyalists of the Imperial Army which should have been stationed along the borders, took back the throne under harsh conditions for the emperor.
Most Republicans were forced to flee to the cold north of the Griffonia continent. But the struggle had devastated the heartlands and further weakened the Emperor’s claim to rule alone. Only a few close family members held him also beyond the nominal feudal oath, which was given on the day of the victory celebration, true loyalty. But from that day on, when the Republican troops were again driven out of the capital, and parts of the former Great Griffonian Empire continued to refuse to obey, the Empire was nothing but a shadow of its former self.
So it was, and the gods are my witnesses. May no false words have come over my beak.
In the prelude to a fanfiction of mine I am looking for someone who would like to proofread. Friendliness is not an absolute must, but I prefer constructive criticism of a general devastation of my work at any time. At least I’m trying to translate my words into English. I hope this attempt alone meets with a certain kind of benevolence. ;-)
As I said, I am not a native English speaker. My mother tongue is German. Therefore, there are many expressions that I fear will be lost in English, or that in some places I express myself unnecessarily complicated.
I am currently writing an MLP fanfiction in the term of Equestria at War. The tag here on Derpibooru is “Equestria at War mod”. Whoever corrects me doesn’t have to be a fan of the game or the mod, but at least I hope that he or she will enjoy my words. I will post my texts here, and hope for a certain resonance. As I said, regarding the words, or the choice of words. Not the content. Or how much attention is paid to a detail. I don’t claim to be a good writer. This is just a hobby project in Corona times. ;-D
Here is the previous text. There’ll be more later.
EaW King’s Gambit - Prologue
From the Annals of Prelate Angelino Denali, Year of Change, 1007 ALB
The Griffonian Empire. Once, this over 300-year-old nation ruled almost the entire eastern hemisphere, stretching across most of the continent of Griffonia. At the height of its power about 200 years ago, the empire’s immense wealth and extensive influence were so great that it was able to establish flourishing colonies even on the northeastern coasts of the continent of Equus in the far west. At that time, even among the pony tribes and nations, especially in the western hemisphere, it was for a long time considered the strongest power in the world. But fate played a cruel fate on the imperial dynasty, and its empire would not last forever. The ways of the gods are truly mystical and inscrutable. Therefore, my dear reader, I now report on the very events that lead us to the circumstances of which it is actually to be to reported.
The Griffon folk has been calling the continent of Griffonia their home for over 900 years now, but in the past they have always lived in various wild tribes, which were characterized solely by their greed for wealth and power. Although storytellers, historians and bards agree that there is no written record of the origins of the griffons, our faith, and the spread of our species, tells us that only the Griffons are native to this continent of ours. Except for a few Minotaurs, Diamond dogs and strange creatures.
The empire, founded by Grover I of Griffonstone in 705 ALB (After Luna’s banishment), experienced from the beginning a flowering period blessed by the gods Boreas, Arcturius and Eyr. Slightly west of the heart of the continent, under the iron but just claws of the Griffonstone dynasty, the sphere of influence of their kingdom grew steadily. Probably made possible by the unique idol of Boreas, an ancient, sacred artifact that promised its owner infinite prosperity. With that very vile mammon, which is repugnant to a true believer of Boreas, Grover I. paid his troops, who even crossed the rugged Black Rock mountains for him, in order to subdue the peaceful peasants of my homeland. But I’ll go ahead.
Grover the First, with the help of the idol, succeeded in subjugating his two greatest rivals, the Kingdom of Aquileia and the Kingdom of Wingbardy, apart from attacking defenseless border regions. For the first time, a Griffon monarch had succeeded in doing what was previously considered impossible. Unification under a single ruler. The defeat of the two powerful neighbours made the kingdom of Griffonstone an empire. The ongoing conquest of the Griffonian Continent, led by the infamous warrior-emperor Grover II, son of the very first emperor, came to a sudden halt when his army invaded the areas in the east, which later became known as the river lands.
In 752 the mercenary troops of his father Grover I. had succeeded in capturing and sacking the rich lake city of Jezeragrad, but this act only led to the fact that there had arisen a republic of the same name, which united the surrounding nations under a common banner. The pony inhabitants who had been living in the river lands for several centuries, whose exact origin is lost in the fog of time, united in a great coalition and defeated together the imperial army in the valley of Coltovac. Shocking for the Griffonian Empire, Emperor Grover II fell in that battle and his defeated troops retreated to the western part of the continent with heavy losses. Since then, a griffon should never again place its claws on the bottom of the river lands. But this grave reproach would not be forgiven and would never be forgotten.
With the end of expansionism, many previously conquered noble families had time to conspire against the emperor’s young heir and began to see him as a foreign tyrant and no longer as a just ruler. Nevertheless, Emperor Grover III., the son of the warrior-emperor who died during the Battle of Coltovac, managed to hold the empire together for the time being and to secure the loyalty of most of his submissive lords and high ladies for many years. The young emperor was considered extremely charming and mastered social manners to perfection. Those who continued to oppose him and the supposedly legitimized rule of his family by the gods, and who dared to speak out publicly against the Griffonstone dynasty, allegedly disappeared overnight and without any trace. May Arcturius have mercy on their souls in the afterlife.
In order to secure his rather meagre claims to the throne, Grover III. also founded the imperial army, which would soon become the largest military force in the world. These fresh and young recruits, led by experienced veterans from the wars in the river lands, were sworn to the emperor alone from the beginning. They saw themselves as the defenders of a centuries-old dynasty and the only keepers of the true way of Griffon life.
One of his most important achievements for posterity, apart from the military superiority of his new legions, was to try to form a common imperial identity for all the peoples living in his realm, in order to unite the many cultures of his vast empire forever. To this day, almost all principalities of Griffonia and their noble families refer back to that epoch in order to legitimize their claim to dominion over their lands.
However, Grover’s successes should not survive the years of his own blood-related heir. During the reign of Grover IV., a true noble born statesman trained and experienced from his earliest childhood, who distinguished himself in particular in the administration of the empire, the first cracks in the very foundation of the empire appeared, which could no longer be reversed.
Grover the Fourth was, for all his predecessors rather unusual, even loved by common Griffons, and throughout his life he devoted himself much to the modernization of his empire made possible by the very first steam engines. But the immense popularity among the common people displeased much of the privileged nobility and influential members of that social class began to despise him as the favorite of the plebs. Increasingly disillusioned, they turned away from the central government in Griffenheim and turned from now on the more preferably to their own affairs. Actually, like they’ve always done.
When Grover IV died unexpectedly of a Stroke and left his son Grover V., who had been weak from birth, to succeed him in his office, the noble families took a bold step and formed a regency council to continue to rule the empire. The reason for their actions was the monarch’s sickly state of health. But the real decline of the empire only began when the ruling family of Griffonstone, a cadet branch of the Griffonstone dynasty, lost the idol of Boreas .
This was an ancient, sacred relic, which until then had symbolized the power and legitimacy of the imperial dynasty. It was stolen in 971 by an evil cyclops named Arimaspi, who also killed King Guto VI, a distant relative of Grover V. of Griffonstone, who had been employed by the emperor himself. With this loss, according to the accusation of much of the nobility, the gods of the Griffons were supposed to have left the empire and abandoned their folk. For outsiders this violent reaction may have been exaggerated at this time, but it should be remembered later how resentment within the ranks of the aristocrats had so far swelled. In any case, it didn’t take long, and the reign of the Griffonstone dynasty, which had lasted for more than 250 years until then, collapsed like a house of cards overnight. But maybe I should be a little more specific. May Eyr tell me the right words.
For centuries, Wingbardy, located in the deep south of the continent of Griffonia, was the jewel in the Griffonian crown. As one of the richest and wealthiest nations in the empire, it has always been a apple of discord that aroused the envy of the north. After the empire was united under Grover I. of Griffonstone, there were repeated attempts to suppress the wealth created by the massive superfluity of resources important to industry. This climaxed in 972 ALB, when King Gumberto died among suspicious moments for all involved, while he took part in a party in Griffenheim.
His son, the newly crowned King Garibald Talonuel III, demanded a full investigation of the incident from the Lords of Griffenheim and the imperial heartlands, but at that time his demands fell on deaf ears of the responsible institutions. In protest, Wingbardy officially separated from the Empire and took with him in a dramatic gesture his former vassals of Talouse, Franmisria and Arantiga, with whom it formed the so-called Karthinian League. The empire was powerless to protest because of the young sick emperor, the corrupt government council and the growing instability within its own bureaucracy, so that more and more nations of the South dared to follow Wingbardy’s example half out of solidarity, half out of healthy self-interest. Among the most prominent divisions were the Kingdom of Aquileia under the Discret family and the rather unknown Prywhen province.
Paralyzed by his own inability, 978 ALB the riots in the empire reached their climax. The empire was still under the arbitrary rule of the Council, and the imperial nobility, which had become increasingly power-hungry over the decades, prevented Grover V. from legally ascending the throne even after he had reached the age of majority. Again and again, all protest was silenced with reference to the emperor’s frail health. However, this unjust regency came to an abrupt end in the harsh winter of 978, when thousands of angry and starving farmers and soldiers from low-born families stormed the Imperial Palace in Griffenheim in a finale desperate act.
The emperor, completely overwhelmed by the hatred of the peasants, which simmered for a long time in secret, survived with the help of Archon Eros VII, the highest vicar of Boreas on this earth, and fled to the countryside, although many nobles, who were left behind by the fleeing imperial defenders in the imperial city, were lynched by the hysterical mob. When the flag of freedom finally waved on the highest tower of the palace, the revolutionaries, consisting mainly of many ideological splinter cells and conflicting interest groups, proclaimed a Griffonian Republic, which wanted to replace the empire. The revolutionaries were certain that they had finally driven the emperor and his lackeys out, but there was no blessing on their efforts.
In the general chaos, Ghislain Guichard, the cunning mayor of the continent’s largest port city, persuaded the Republican rebels to attack the Skyfall Imperial Garrison and seize the Imperial Fleet anchored there. When the attackers had destroyed the last imperial loyalists with heavy losses, Guichard ordered previously hired mercenaries to exterminate the last republican resistance fighters in the city. He himself confiscated the former imperial ships of the Imperial Navy and, with this powerful trump card up his sleeve, from then on formed an independent trade federation, which in later years successfully resisted the central imperial government.
Because in the year 979 the charismatic Duchess Gabriela Eagleclaw of Strawberry, a female cousin of Grovar V., called for a huge monarchist counterrevolution. Many aristocrats initially refused to follow this call to arms, but the events in Skyfall taught them a better one. If they did not try to help the weak emperor together now, they would soon all face their inevitable end through the blood-smeared hands of the revolutionary masses. And so a questionable alliance of the aristocrats around the heartland, the core territory of the empire, and Loyalists of the Imperial Army which should have been stationed along the borders, took back the throne under harsh conditions for the emperor.
Most Republicans were forced to flee to the cold north of the Griffonia continent. But the struggle had devastated the heartlands and further weakened the Emperor’s claim to rule alone. Only a few close family members held him also beyond the nominal feudal oath, which was given on the day of the victory celebration, true loyalty. But from that day on, when the Republican troops were again driven out of the capital, and parts of the former Great Griffonian Empire continued to refuse to obey, the Empire was nothing but a shadow of its former self.
So it was, and the gods are my witnesses. May no false words have come over my beak.
