[Dark] Depression/Suicides within the fandom (The revival)

When someone has a positive attitude and constantly brags about it, im feel like shit.
The worst thing is that it’s too obvious because you can see it even physically and not feel that you can talk to the other person, you know “I shouldn’t think like that” and similar words, then it will start to compare with me and im will be like imbecile.

“why can’t you be happier and more animated?”, “it’s very easy” and I think “of course not stupid, I feel very bad and I don’t know how to get out of this state.

I mean, good for him but ¿what am I supposed to do with this feeling?.

@Background Pony #6F25
If you happens to pursue Facebook or similar social media about bragging recently, I won’t be surprised, using that and seeing that a lot made my envy burns me from the inside.

@Background Pony #7DD0
I guess it’s best to give me a break. The part that sucks is that he’s a friend :/

@Background Pony #6F25
High school friends, university friends, are often like this, ok, take a break from it, quit it is even better (only visit for events or delete account, etc).

God damn it…another one of my friends may have very well just committed suicide…only time will tell at this point to see if it is actually true.

@Background Pony #7DD0
Yea, I’ll do that, it’s not like I hate it. I guess it’s hard to believe can be someone better, when the rest of the time it’s not like that.
Honestly I didn’t do well.

@KolpSlack
The uncertainty is overwhelming.

@Background Pony #6F25
My method is just uses my free time, loads of free time to look forward to cheaper and more efficient source of happiness. As long as it remains the environment around you relatively peaceful and can still make a decent amount of ends meet (important money to spend to preserve your life).

Also, Summer sucks, suicide rate is the highest around here.

Goodbye everyone.

@Luca H.
Please don’t go

Please call a hotline, you have people who care about you

@Luca H.
Come on, if you kill yourself some nice person is going to have to clean up your body. They will throw up and cry, few people will understand your hatred for life.

Just calm down, don’t do it. If you really believe that life is nothing-oblivion, then you’re strong enough to survive. If life means nothing just play it. Go for friendliness and altruism, they never fail.

You can talk to me, Don’t overreact if I don’t respond fast enough, I’m going through sh!t. Suicide is such a waste, people too good for this world commit suicide, while assholes live with no remorse.

@Luca H.
I’ve never even seen you comment on this thread, you just stopped by to casually announce you’re going to kill yourself? Or if not kept it vague enough to where you might come back several hours later and say “oh I meant I was going for a walk” or something like that.

@Luca H.
Hey, I might not know you and you don’t know me, but if you’re thinking about ending your own life, please reconsider. There has to be somebody that cares about you and if you’re gone, you could really devastate, if not one, multiple people. If you’re comfortable, you may always talk to me.

@Kicks24Sf
Don’t be an asshole.

@KolpSlack
If they were really intent on killing themself why would they announce it here? Just seems like a ploy to get people to notice no offense

If you think that someone is a credible risk of self-harm, please report them for Rule #n. We can see what else they have been posting on the site, anonymously or not, and, if necessary, can relay their PII to the proper authorities.

In this case the person just seems to be leaving the fandom. They didn’t seem to know what they were getting into.

I have had this constant thinking for a long time, basically I strive to sabotage some minimal effort to be part of anything, because I also don’t have a fully developed sense of belonging.
Always imagine joining a certain community or group that I like, Maybe meeting people and doing interesting things would be “cool” & every time I think about it, there’s always a feeling that I shouldn’t do it, Ugly, stupid, wordless incompete relating this feeling gets bigger the more time passes & I can’t help but feel like I waste my time trying.
Also, I don’t think doing this would be a solution, I’m too unsure of myself, I don’t think someone “like me” is easily accepted.

@Background Pony #6F25
“I strive to sabotage some minimal effort to be part of anything”
TFW i got to say something so people don’t think you’re me.

The body and mind will almost always try to use as little energy as possible. This is efficient for a lifestyle where we just wonder around and eat things when we’re hungry. Sometimes it’s not possible to change until their is a real fire under your ass.

Been worrying about something extremely unlikely for days now. I know it’s stupid but I can’t stop.

@pixel
What are you worrying about?

@icicle wicicle 1517
Basically people who know me somehow finding out about things I’ve posted not just here but on other sites in the past.

I know it’s pretty unlikely but there are so many things I kinda regret posting and wish I didn’t share, even anonymously. I know it’s just paranoia though. Not really much I can do about it anyway.

@pixel
Im sorry to hear that.

If it helps, im sure everyone has regrets about stuff they’ve posted online years ago andworry about others finding out. Don;t beat yourself up about it that much, it’s a natural feeling a lotof people have.

@icicle wicicle 1517
Thanks.

The rational part of me knows that, given how it hasn’t happened so far, that should be a good sign. But I just sometimes get paranoid, I guess. Like, I can’t help but think if someone was really determined, they’d be able to find out who I am based on the handful of more personal posts I made.

Really, though, I think I should just spend less time online.

@pixel
I think taking some breaks from the Internet might help

@Beth
I want to think that it is not limited to one aspect of food. I don’t know how to feel about having something in common with a stranger, I guess it’s a relief to know that I’m not the only one with these kinds of problems.

@pixel
Internet doesn’t forget, it would be a good idea to leave it for a while and maybe think again about some things you want to remove, just to be more calmer.

I haven’t been here in a long time but I need something or anything at all… Prepare for shit to be piled on top of you if you even give a fuck in the first place cuz nobody ever does. If you don’t care to read, there’s a tldr at the end.

My depression has skyrocketed. I almost committed suicide last night and I’ve already hacked up my skin. The reason why I didn’t go through with it is because I believe I’m cursed to this damn planet. Every time I try to commit suicide I survive every single damn time so I must have some purpose but the only purpose I seemingly have is to suffer.

I have no friends and all I have is my boyfriend and he literally flat out told me, “I can’t help you.” Nobody else fucking supports me.

I got kicked out of the house last night so I’m basically homeless and I have no family to reach out to because my mom is dying due to drugs my dad is already dead due to drugs my aunt is seriously doing some drugs cuz she’s on some schizo shit or something, my grandma’s dying so she can’t take care of me. I can’t go to my other Aunt because she’s dead. I can’t go to my cousin’s house cuz she’s abusive. I can’t live with my uncle cuz he already has too many kids. I can’t go with any of my sisters or brothers cuz I have no idea where they are in life right now or how to get in touch with them. I can’t live with my boyfriend for some fucking reason. I’ve literally exhausted all my options within my almost 20 years of life. That’s how much I’ve been moving around because nobody wants to deal with me.

You’re probably wondering what I mean by “deal with me”. Well I’m severely
depressed and have meltdowns and I’m severely disabled. So much so that I cannot work or drive. It’s also the main reason why I can’t keep a relationship or a home.

I don’t make enough money to support myself. Can’t afford anywhere. My best hope to shoot for is getting a roommate but I don’t know anybody and I have to reach out to somebody but my problem is that after dealing with all these people all my life I don’t want to be with somebody else. Especially a stranger.

I’m so fucking upset and I have never been so low in my damn life and there’s no way of getting out of it.

TL;DR
I have no support system whatsoever, I’m severely disabled and depressed, and I’m now homeless.

Thank you for coming to my ted talk.

@Moodiness Express
I’m really sorry to hear what you’ve been going through :(

I hope things get better