[Dark] Depression/Suicides within the fandom (The revival)

Pixel Perfection - I still call her Lightning Bolt
Magical Inkwell - Wrote MLP fanfiction consisting of at least around 1.5k words, and has a verified link to the platform of their choice
Silly Pony - Celebrated the 13th anniversary of MLP:FIM, and 40 years of MLP!
Shimmering Smile - Celebrated the 10th anniversary of Equestria Girls!
Solar Hero - Went above and beyond for the Solar Deity, drawing from the power of the sun itself to bring balance to the fight against the Lunar Insurrection (April Fools 2023).
Flower Trio - Helped others get their OC into the 2023 Derpibooru Collab.
Roseluck - Had their OC in the 2023 Derpibooru Collab.
King Sombra - Celebrated the 10th anniversary of The Crystal Empire!
A Lovely Nightmare Night - Celebrated the 12th anniversary of MLP:FIM!
Princess of Love - Extra special version for those who participated in the Canterlot Wedding 10th anniversary event by contributing art.

Laß mich sterben
World decides to beat the crap out of me again…
I just woke up from my stupid fantasy and realized that my only friend right now (Which i chatted in Telegram) may be dead. It’s almost two/three months and she hasn’t replied back, neither shown some sign of activity on her accounts (She’s an artist), worse it’s that she has several illnesses that are lethal, and I have no way to communicate with her other than Telegram.
I have no point in going on with life anymore. I can’t seem to make friends and the few ones i have backstab me, leave, or die (That i hope it’s not the case, but it’s a real possibility I can’t simply ignore).
The only thing helping me not to kill myself was talking with her, with somebody… And this artwork i found somewhere that ocassionally makes me think twice…
But now there’s the chance the only friend I had that didn’t stab me in the back or use me for stuff may be dead. And it hurts….
I’m trying to stay alive just to help others, because atleast other people can be joyful and not end like a bastard like me. To make people laugh, to make them feel good and overall be a supporting guy. But i don’t care about myself at this point, what’s the point for me in making friends when either they decide you’re not “cool” or whaterver enough for them, or die. What’s the point in advancing when you see the signs that you will fail no matter what. It’s like the world just wants me to suffer.
I hate my life… Yet i am unable to fully cut my wrist, and any amount of pills i take doesn’t end this. Ironic and sad, i’m a coward who can’t seem to walk the next step.
It’s like the world just got some popcorn and soda while it watches me and laughs. Like if i would be one of those cartoons where the guy always fails miserably whaterver he tries to do.
Remember this…? Ah, I remember that post…
Shortly afterwards I got the best friend I could ever have…
He was kind, gentle, funny and we were both on the same interests, we pretty much matched eachother and, at a point, we were the only friend at all both had, because we were both socially anxious.
He was probably that kind of friend you’re really lucky, and I’m really lucky to have him as a friend…
Today is his birthday… It’s been two months and a day (September 1st) since I haven’t any reply from him or he had any activity everywhere… I even had made a birthday gift just for him that I was sure he would love
Oh shit… Here we go again… Again with fearing the unknown, again with fearing that my friend is not okay or even worse, dead… Again having to hold my heart waiting like Hachiko for him to come back and we talk again… I had so many stuff to talk to him… Again with the slow yet sure mental skirmish between my idealist “Please, he’s probably okay” and my cynical “He’s probably dead and if anything you might have been the responsible”… Again with being alone…
We even were planning to do a joint Collab application, but I couldn’t even show him the drawing of his finished ponysona…
I miss you… I really miss you Starly… I just hope you’re okay… Wherever you are… And… If you’re dead… That I don’t want to consider but it’s a real possibility… I just hope… You’re doing great there in heaven and that you get to enjoy all that you didn’t have on Earth…
At this point I’m sure world hates me… I’m the worst piece of crap ever if I get the best friend I always wanted and world decides to take it away in less than a year of chat…
I just feel cold inside md, feel awful mentally, feel confused and scared, feel lonely… Feel like I want to die as of now…
Background Pony #B054
Asexual is the best choice for you then.
Here’s how to be one, you can still feel horny, but you are fully aware that having love requires extra burden in life, and financial risk (speaking bitter truth here, you need to be mature to accept it), you’d rather be proud being single and maybe childless for your well-being, and then masturbate to whatever your harmless fetish is.
You need to abandon the American Dream cliche that prevent you from adapting to what reality slaps in your face.
Background Pony #B054
Better put your self-worth value somewhere else, like improving ecology or economics, since you are too desperate trying to understand the opposite gender, stop wasting your energy on love or romance.
Solar Supporter - Fought against the New Lunar Republic rebellion on the side of the Solar Deity (April Fools 2023).
Non-Fungible Trixie -
My Little Pony - 1992 Edition

Reborn Reject
Everyone and everything I meet and see ends up turning on me or leaving. Everyone says “Just keep searching” but I’m tired of searching and failing. I just want to stop existing.
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