It occured to me yesterday that the scariest thing I can imagine is not drowning, some obscure horror cliche or even death. It’s the minds impermanence, I was dwelling on who I had been a year ago and I realised just how different I’d been, all the similarities I perceived were false. I wouldn’t recognise myself if I talked to me on the phone…I’m not them and they’re not me so where are they now? Are they dead? Surely not, so how can they have existed.
The frightening conclusion I made was that they had existed at the time and now they’re gone, and like them I’ll be gone soon too. What if life is only a month long but we just have the perception it’s longer because of the experiences of long dead hosts. If it was proven that’s the case would we continue living our lives or would we panic, only to wake up the next day, and then the next and then the next, for what.
Nothing human is permanent, I’ll be forgotten and you’ll be forgotten. Countries we think will surely exist forever might be a footnote in 800 years so what’s the point, everything we create withers and dies. I’m not suicidal but if I was given the choice I would not choose to live in this stressful meandering world.
