[Dark] Depression/Suicides within the fandom (The revival)

platinumdrop
A Really Classy Artist - 250+ images under their artist tag
An Artist Who Rocks - 100+ images under their artist tag
Artist -

Immortal spirit
lol i fell asleep…
I had Sertraline.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sertraline

I can drink coffee it just raises my blood pressure but i can sleep well no matther how many cup of coffee i drink. So often happens that i fall asleep during the day. In three-hour segments. Except if im at work and cant relax.
Background Pony #6048
@Ninji
ive done a handful of drugs over the course of a few years. lsd, synthetic shrooms, dxm. its all good shit. but all its done was open me up to things id rather not of fully grasped.

i dont have insurance, wouldnt be able to afford help.
Ninji
My Little Pony - 1992 Edition
Friendship, Art, and Magic (2020) - Took part in the 2020 Community Collab
The Magic of Friendship Grows - For helping others attend the 2020 Community Collab
Artist -

@platinumdrop
Zoloft is usable. Among many obscure effects it inhibits the reuptake of dopamine @DAT making it a mild stimulant.


@Background Pony #434A
Oh fuck, you're not new to this. The founder of AA stopped drinking when he took acid. What dose of DXM have you reached? I extract mine from cough pills.

I have no insurance either, no prescriptions, nobody to talk to. That's ok because unlike me phychiatrist aren't scientist, they don't have to know anything about anatomy and physiology.

Phychiatry depends on an imaginary border between the body and mind. There is none, everything is physical.
Background Pony #6048
@Ninji
the highest was on delsym. i took two bottles of it within a hour. then i had seizures for a few day. i dont remember the math to it. it was a shitty experience.
Ninji
My Little Pony - 1992 Edition
Friendship, Art, and Magic (2020) - Took part in the 2020 Community Collab
The Magic of Friendship Grows - For helping others attend the 2020 Community Collab
Artist -

@Background Pony #434A
Sounds like you got more than DXM. You sure there wasn't antihistamine, Acetaminophen or expectorant?

Acetaminophen has a very short theraputic index before becoming very deadly, lots of nutrition facts highlight apap in yellow.

Antihistamine can cause seizures, I used to eat the cough pills whole because the antihistamine added it's own high. This is very dangerous, I learned how to seperate dxm from water soluble drugs.
Ninji
My Little Pony - 1992 Edition
Friendship, Art, and Magic (2020) - Took part in the 2020 Community Collab
The Magic of Friendship Grows - For helping others attend the 2020 Community Collab
Artist -

@Background Pony #434A
Oops. That's the problem. You want DXM hbr (Dextromethorphan hydrogen bromide), not DXM polistirex.

Poli was made to prevent abuse. It's much slower absorbing and doesn't metabolize to the fun stuff like the hbr does. I don't know what high doses of poli will do.
Ninji
My Little Pony - 1992 Edition
Friendship, Art, and Magic (2020) - Took part in the 2020 Community Collab
The Magic of Friendship Grows - For helping others attend the 2020 Community Collab
Artist -

@Background Pony #434A
Suicide is hard to talk about, you want to help me out here?

I can give you a hand up on the drugs, but I have trouble understanding suicide, despite having faked attempts to get help.

I know what it's like to hate yourself, but that can all be old news. You can go somewhere, do something else.
Background Pony #6048
@Ninji
im worthless. im taking up space. i cant do anything right. i want to be done because i'll never get ahead in this world.
Ninji
My Little Pony - 1992 Edition
Friendship, Art, and Magic (2020) - Took part in the 2020 Community Collab
The Magic of Friendship Grows - For helping others attend the 2020 Community Collab
Artist -

@Background Pony #434A
You don't owe nobody anything.

Is it a domestic thing? Are you depending on someone who makes you feel bad?


Mankind is an infection. We're all parasites that nature is going to kill. You might as well do whatever you want, everyone who ever talked down to you is the same useless garbage that's going to be eaten by the plants and the trees.
Background Pony #6048
@Ninji
i feel like im a burden. i want to be truly happy. but i dont see it happening.


i know i shouldn't care. but i cant help it.
Ninji
My Little Pony - 1992 Edition
Friendship, Art, and Magic (2020) - Took part in the 2020 Community Collab
The Magic of Friendship Grows - For helping others attend the 2020 Community Collab
Artist -

@Background Pony #434A
Oh I'm sorry I don't have useful answers.

I just keep myself busy. I don't have a positive outlook on life. I just keep myself occupied, and if I told you to do the same itd seem condenseding and unhelpful.

It's not a satisfying answer. Having to reject reality, turn off potentially useful rumination, and having to return an impulse driven animal.

Just because I'm ok for a minute doesn't mean I can help others. I hope we can continue talking though
Background Pony #6048
@Ninji
i dont have useful answers either. we're all traveling in a bizarre place where nothing matters.

im still doing abit of research. so if the urge is strong enough i'll know what to do.

ive already settled on the method i want to use.
Ninji
My Little Pony - 1992 Edition
Friendship, Art, and Magic (2020) - Took part in the 2020 Community Collab
The Magic of Friendship Grows - For helping others attend the 2020 Community Collab
Artist -

@Background Pony #434A

There never needed to be a big picture, never needed to be a reason for anything. This is some crap religion tries to sell so they can convince you that they have something you don't. They don't have anything, their bag of chips is all air.

So how do you think you will kill yourself? There is no other stone to move? No other problem to figure out?

You can keep your rope or toilet bowl cleaner but there has to be more to try and do.


The reason I never asked you about your hobbies is because I remember when someone asked me that. "Do you even do anything" in regards to sports or talents and I had no answer, I didn't want to say videogames, I didn't want them to see my cringy art so I said nothing and just felt bad about it.

When things don't reach our expectations it's easier to feel like we don't have anything. Being ok with mediocrity atleast puts your feet on the ground, and your temporary complacency will be more than a lot of 'powerful' people have.
Background Pony #6048
partial hanging. should be able to black out pretty quickly. knowing me i'll end up fucking it up.


there's nothing here for me. i have no plans for the future. just mindlessly existing. i dont know if im supposed to be doing something with my life.


i dont have any real hobbies. nothing im really passionate about anyways. collecting things is as close to a hobby as i got.




ignoring and trying not to care can only get me so far.
Ninji
My Little Pony - 1992 Edition
Friendship, Art, and Magic (2020) - Took part in the 2020 Community Collab
The Magic of Friendship Grows - For helping others attend the 2020 Community Collab
Artist -

@Background Pony #434A
Partial hanging? You mean instead of breaking your neck you want to choke to death?

If you could go through with suicide that means you have the power to do anything else you want in life. The one who no longer fears death becomes a god.

If you force yourself to do something, and pretend you have the energy and motivation eventually your body will compensate and you will have the energy and motivation.

You could plant flowers, draw with colored pencils, clean like a tweaker, take up cooking (my favorite), volunteer, get a backpack with water and just start running. You could make your first videogame in a day, it won't be much, but it's more than money or fame alone can get you.

All these things have something in common. They aren't done by listless people who need to be spoonfed stimulation on tv, you can already feel superior just for starting.
Background Pony #6048
@Ninji
its supposed to be as painless as possible. keeping the brain from getting oxygen by blocking the carotid artery. should be able to black out quickly. and in minutes you cease to exist.


i used to be a very motivated person. the irl friends i had when i was a teen helped alot. i was always doing something with my friends. i was always happy and had no worries, but they left me quite awhile back. im still not sure what i did to make them leave.

sometime soon im going to try cannabis. see if that helps any. and just go from there.
Ninji
My Little Pony - 1992 Edition
Friendship, Art, and Magic (2020) - Took part in the 2020 Community Collab
The Magic of Friendship Grows - For helping others attend the 2020 Community Collab
Artist -

@Background Pony #434A

@Background Pony #434A
I'm not sure how painless that is. I rigorously studied another method thinking that the rope only looks painless. Maybe.

Marijuana is great. Overrated, not a miracle drug, but it's pretty swell.

Weed or not you got to find something to do and not have high expectations. I know it sounds condensending or maybe I don't realize the gravity of this emotional paralysis.

I don't think your experience is a 'tissy' or laziness. I don't assume the answer is easy. Even laziness is a real problem that can't be solved easily. I think a lot of my problems involve laziness, a lack of firing upstairs.
Background Pony #1020
@Background Pony #434A
I can tell you if your neck doesn't break, you will suffer every second until you black out and those seconds will feel like hours… Unless your drugged up or something.

I speak from experience except I woke up in a hospital and now I'm terrified of death.
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