There is medication to dial it back.
Texas has behavioral health treatment centers. You should call one and tell them how you feel. If you been using any drugs to get by, or you think you want to hurt yourself or others tell them that too. Medical professionals are not allowed to give information to police, and police aren't allowed to intervene in you getting help.
Alcohol is unreliable and unpredictable, but you can benifit from more targeted medication. It's easy to feel like 'the man' wants to dull your senses with pills, but even if that where true, you might as well give it a shot.