goddamnit…
I started thinking about how I really, really, really wanted to work out
But it just doesn’t really… the timing just isn’t right
I’m going on a lot of trips over the next few months and… fuck…
And then I started hyperventilating a bunch earlier.. started feeling dizzy and tired and basically like I was drunk.. then finally got that out of my system… and now I’m just fucking depressed
I really, really, really, really, really want to work out… like long amounts
But it just doesn’t… the timings… I guess it would still kind of work but.. well..
Oh and the two fucking week long trip… it just…
I don’t even have the energy to type it out… who fucking reads these anyway…
I’ll just… just… I should just go lay down…
Staying depressed now will have a long-term effect on my mood but who fucking cares… I just want to be able to work out whenever, wherever
Unfortunately it’s not like I can just take the elliptical everywhere with me
But hey… life never goes the way you fucking plan
Because life is fucking stupid
But everyone knows that.. yet somehow we decide to continue on living… why we haven’t all killed ourselves is a mystery… this world is fucked up and there’s surely a better one but… yet…
But then again, a perfect world would be boring
But maybe just not as fucked up like this one…
Eh… I’m just thinking outloud