@xXSleep Deprived ArtistXx
Hah, a youngster, I guessed as much. Don’t take this as me belittling your personal feelings, loss sucks no matter what, but let me give you some words of wisdom.
I’m near on double your age, and I’ve had a lot of “love” since HS. Lovers come and go, and “true” love is a fairytale. There’s a lot of matches out there, and some of them, a lot of them, won’t work out. If you tear your heart out after every fish that jumps the hook then you’re just going to spend your life bleeding.
Everything seems big and shiny at your age, especially love. The maddening storm of hormones will do that, did a number on me too. Lots of emotional turmoil. And a carpet of body hair.
You’re a kid, you can smoke, but you’re still a kid. Most of the decisions that you’re making that you think are big, and impactful, let me let you in on a secret, they ain’t. You live with your folks, big deal, I did off and on till I was 24. You lost a lover, and? If your heart is still in your chest, and your dick/vag didn’t fall off you can find another. Ain’t got a job? Get in line, lots of folks don’t, and there ain’t no rush to. You’re 18, its the age where you start to figure shit out, not where you’ve got it all figured out. No reason to rush it.