[Dark] Depression/Suicides within the fandom (The revival)

GERgta
Artist -
An Artist Who Rocks - 100+ images under their artist tag
Thread Starter - [Dark] Depression/Suicides within the fandom (The revival)

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
@Gentlecolt
I am happy that you have the strength to just grab a sword and fight yourself through :) *Thumbs up*

[VENT INCOMING]
There is something that really bugs me about this world right now. Smartphones.

Why is it that I come in the living room, my sister sitting on the couch, tapping around on that little box, going "Hey, come over here! Look at this guy! Man, he's ugly!" — I couldn't give a crap.

Everytime at the dinner table, my mom and my sis bring their phones and do stupid crap instead of eating. I was like "Have some damn respect and don't bring your phones here". And then they (mainly my sister) say that I was addicted to my PC. I mean, I got up and walked to the dinner table. Without my laptop and without my phone.

My sister is glued to her phone 24/7, even tho it sucks so bad. It's so damn annoying. It will only get worse if she gets a better phone .-.

I am thinking about making a rule about those things in our house. They don't belong on the damn dinner table. What do you guys think?
Scrabbleman
The End wasn't The End - Found a new home after the great exodus of 2012
Duck - He literally asked for this
Friendship, Art, and Magic (5 Years) - Celebrated Derpibooru's five year anniversary with friends.
Birthday Cake - Celebrated MLP's 7th birthday
Artist -
Friendship, Art, and Magic (6 Years) - Celebrated Derpibooru's six year anniversary with friends.
Wallet After Summer Sale -

[screams in German]
@GERgta


Also, while what you're saying is true, you can't ban phones from the dining table. Bad things will happen, especially in theor relationship with you. If you can, try to make sure they prioritize eating over texting. How you're gonna do it, I don't know. Scold them a bit like "Eat your dinner before using your phones" and what not maybe. I too use my phone during dinner but I don't let it consume me since the food in front is more important.

That's my only advice.
GERgta
Artist -
An Artist Who Rocks - 100+ images under their artist tag
Thread Starter - [Dark] Depression/Suicides within the fandom (The revival)

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
@HJSDGCE
I don't see what's so bad about not bringing your phone to the table. You just put it down for 30 minutes and that's it. I mean, it's not like the world's gonna explode if you don't have your phone for half an hour.

I was discussing this rule with my mom, and she agreed to it. After that I kinda got depressed again (don't ever let me think) and slept. But I am STOKED to see my sis' reaction :'D
GERgta
Artist -
An Artist Who Rocks - 100+ images under their artist tag
Thread Starter - [Dark] Depression/Suicides within the fandom (The revival)

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
@HJSDGCE
I actually didn't notice that comic (My images were turned off), cute! X3

So, we had dinner today. And my sis sat down and put her phone on the table. It kinda went like this (typical family conversation):
Me: "Your phone is on the table."
Sis: "I don't even use it!"
Me: "Just put it away.
Mom: "It's the rule. You gotta put it away."
Sis: "But it's just sitting here."
Me: "Well then you can also put it away."
Sis: "URGH! Fine! *throws phone on sofa*"
(she actually missed the sofa, atleast there was some stuff on the ground to catch the phone)

It felt good to kick my sis' ass for once. Why do I get this Drake & Josh-type vibe here all of the sudden?

———————————————
Not-so-important backstory: So, I was investigating my head-cannon of a scrapped open-world in the game Need For Speed Underground and I wrote my friend about it. I was puzzeling together a map by ripping textures and told my friend some technical stuff about transparent textures and how stacking them works in 3D-Space.

After going "Why do I know so much about this?" he simply replied "Full Metal Autist".

He simply wrote that as a joke, of course. But I went to investigate, looked up some stuff about autism. Well, there was so much stuff where I went "That's so me!".

I'll have to ask some of my relatives about my past and discuss this in detail with my mom. Definitely need to get a professional's opinion about it.

But what will that change? Urgh.
RunDevilRun007
Mystery Badge #1 - It is a mystery to everyone

Sunset Shimmer's Husband
I used to be suicidal. I had actually attempted it around 20-30 times between 16-20 (I'm 21 now for the record.) then I met my girlfriend, I told her I was suicidal and she made me promise her never to try and do that to myself again. And I never did.

Though I still feel somewhat depressed because she lives 5,000 miles away and I don't have a job so I have no money to go see her and even if I do get a job it will take probably 10-15 months of not spending a dime of my paychecks to afford a 1 week visit with her.
Scrabbleman
The End wasn't The End - Found a new home after the great exodus of 2012
Duck - He literally asked for this
Friendship, Art, and Magic (5 Years) - Celebrated Derpibooru's five year anniversary with friends.
Birthday Cake - Celebrated MLP's 7th birthday
Artist -
Friendship, Art, and Magic (6 Years) - Celebrated Derpibooru's six year anniversary with friends.
Wallet After Summer Sale -

[screams in German]
I wish I could leave college right now. I truly do. But I can't.

There's too much at stake and I've buried myself too deep. I wanted to go to Art School and I can handle the stress but now, I feel so angry at myself all the time for this. Why didn't I argue with my parents about this?! Why did I constantly try to act as the nice child and live with my parents' choices?!

I know they sent me to Engineering School for my future and well-being but everyday I look at myself in mirror, I lose bits and pieces of myself. Why is it, throughout my time at college, I feel like it's been wasted?!

I have a plan that will get me out of this mess but it's… just not coming quickly enough. My parents sacrificed so much for me and I can't bring myself to destroy everything they worked for me. Why did I have to be the smart kid? Why couldn't I be the dumb kid so that I would have higher chances of going to where I want?

I'm so angry at MYSELF!
Background Pony #19A9
@RunDevilRun007
That's precarious. You have to be much more selfish to survive. Any time anything can happen. Death is not an option. You'll be dead for a while once…
I mean. You live for love. You are strong for love, but what if it ceases? I've seen this more times.

You have a very high chance for a bad ending. And I can't do anything. Just be more selfish. Pain goes away. It always goes away. Why would you commit suicide? You always survive, don't you?
Seriously. I hope you the bests but half-years away from your girlfriend… The life happens here and there. You know what I mean.

Goals are changing more often than you can imagine that. One day you feel like this, another day like that. Just try things.
Background Pony #19A9
@HJSDGCE
You tried to do arts? I mean, art is not a thing that you can't do anytime. Then you can see if it's a real goal and you'll be more confident too to tell it to the parents. At least you will feel better if you enjoy it.
GERgta
Artist -
An Artist Who Rocks - 100+ images under their artist tag
Thread Starter - [Dark] Depression/Suicides within the fandom (The revival)

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
@HJSDGCE
I thought I posted my answer here, guess I forgot to use the post button…

Look, see the good side of things. You are probably done with college soon. You have very good chances of finding a job you enjoy. You are in a good position, it's alright. I mean, it could be worse.
——
A friend brought a bottle of vodka over. We had a drinking game, and I kinda got drunk. Was drunk for the first time, it felt funny… But it probably wasn't a good idea of him to leave the bottle here. Thinking of getting rid of the bottle before I do anything stupid with it… But I don't know…

Anyways. What can I say… Life is boring when nobody's around. Sitting alone at home is shitty. I would love to hang out with friends… But I have so many problems with my friends. That one guy only uses me (but at the same time he's funny as fuck), and another guy has a completely different brain-chemistry (Always get in trouble with him).

And then we have my internet-friends… We have that one chick who pretends that she likes me because she doesn't wanna feel bad, some guy from the bahamas who has his own set of problems (and doesn't talk to me), some cute-guy who's always busy and doesn't want to talk about his feelings. Just perfect. And don't forget about the other 20 memers in my friendlist.

Nobody really likes me. I have friends that I really care about, but they don't give a fuck about me. It atleast feels like it. You spend lots of time explaining how much you appreciate someone, and everything you get is a "k". Amazing. 10/10.

I miss the old days… Man. I just want to achieve something. I wanna throw some freaking cash around or something. But no. I just can't manage to get myself a job. Would it even make me happy? Probably not. I mean, I have so much crap. Awesome fucking gaming gear. But I just feel tired. That stuff just doesn't make me happy anymore. And gaming is getting boring…

I am just done… I wish I could get help, but I just don't see the point.
That moment when life gets so boring that you just want something bad to happen to yourself…

Funny.
Background Pony #19A9
@GERgta
Feeling tired may be caused by the stress, which leads to magnesium deficiency. It sounds a simple solution but more stress requires even more magnesium. The loneliness/depression is stressful because of its… side effects..

Mineral water with magnesium and magnesium tablets highly increases your endurance and at least you won't feel that you can't take it anymore. If that does not work, you may need more B-vitamins, iron and calcium as well.
But it can't cure the sorrow. The sorrow is a different thing. But I think sorrow is not as bad as the dead-tired thing.
PaskaNaakka
Artist -
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Can I get uhhh
So i've had a nasty bout of depression for the last few weeks, which culminated this weekend when i felt so tired and shit i didn't even eat for three days. Now i'm slightly better again.

Seems the mood swings are back now that winter's coming. Nice.
atalarikt
Artist -

EqG fan + Love Liver
I may be facing the worst week right now.

I've got so many assignments to do (good thing I've done and sent most of them), and I felt like the only way to solve them was to work non-stop. However, it went fully trainwreck, because I'm still not used to hard work. It doesn't help that I am an easily distracted kid (thanks autism!) and always go to Derpibooru all time, leaving me little to no time doing anything else (almost literally).

Since this is raining season here in Indonesia, I've got my allergy acting up again, and I had to go to my doctor again, maybe for the third time. I complained about how inconvenient it is to my mom, and I said to her that I wish I could solve my allergy problem. My doctor said that I could go swimming to lessen my allergy problem, but I've simply got no time for that. The IT vocational high school I'm currently in has a pretty strict disciplinary (semi-militaristic, I dare to say), and we usually go home at 15.45 (even then, all high schools require all of their students to go home late), but those are not the main concerns. It's the assignments that aren't giving me the time. It doesn't help that we're going to have a semester exam in the following two weeks.

I always panic whenever I can't do things perfectly, since this has enraged people every now and then. This also makes it harder for me to think, and I ended up forgetting to bring stuff I'm supposed to bring to school (I won't write about this further, since this is already long enough to read).

Thing is, I also want to have a legitimate break time, but I think that's impossible, given my school. I also wish I could never make mistakes again, or at the very least, make only a very few mistakes.

I'm tired, so fucking tired…
Fuck my life…
GERgta
Artist -
An Artist Who Rocks - 100+ images under their artist tag
Thread Starter - [Dark] Depression/Suicides within the fandom (The revival)

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
@atalarikt
I'd try calming down and getting through this stuff in a relaxed manner. But that may not be as viable or easy in your case, soo.. Argh. If you really can't relax, try to deeply dedicate yourself to your work and tell yourself that you can do it. If you get too distracted, try to terminate those distractions. Or, if possible, get someone to help you with those assignments.

Clench your teeth and dash through… That is horrible advice, but it's all I have. I could write pages on how to reach full relaxation, but I am already too freaking tired.

Peace.
Cirrus Light
Artist -
Thread Starter - The SJW Thread
An Artist Who Rocks - 100+ images under his artist tag
Friendship, Art, and Magic (5 Years) - Celebrated Derpibooru's five year anniversary with friends.
Not a Llama - Happy April Fools Day!
Magical Inkwell - Wrote MLP fanfiction consisting of at least around 1.5k words, and has a verified link to the platform of their choice
Best Artist - Providing quality, Derpibooru-exclusive artwork
Birthday Cake - Celebrated MLP's 7th birthday
Helpful Owl - Drew someone's OC for the 2018 Community Collab
Friendship, Art, and Magic (6 Years) - Celebrated Derpibooru's six year anniversary with friends.

Sciencepone of Science!
I'm unbearable exhausted recently… There's nothing in the world I love more to do than my current studies, but I'm so incredibly exhausted all the time I struggle to keep up with just one course. It's all medical stuff, hopefully the doctors and co. will get it figured out sooner than later, but it's really tough. I really love this and want to do this with my life but I feel like I'm almost unable to, and I'm just pushing myself to keep going so my life won't feel like a complete waste of time, but I'm just so exhausted all the time, only getting a few useful hours out of any given day, it's like I just can't keep up…

Scrabbleman
The End wasn't The End - Found a new home after the great exodus of 2012
Duck - He literally asked for this
Friendship, Art, and Magic (5 Years) - Celebrated Derpibooru's five year anniversary with friends.
Birthday Cake - Celebrated MLP's 7th birthday
Artist -
Friendship, Art, and Magic (6 Years) - Celebrated Derpibooru's six year anniversary with friends.
Wallet After Summer Sale -

[screams in German]
@Cirrus Light
Wow, Cirrus. I'm quite surprised at you being here.
You're always happy and stuff.

Well, fret not for non-official depressed HJSDGCE is here!

Now, you like your studies and is very tired at it, unlike me which actually dislike my studies and does it only for someone else. Well, it's hard to say on this as according to your text, you feel like you only have a few hours of usefulness to yourself which probably involves sleep entertainment, etc.

From the looks of it, this is a time based problem. Meaning, you have very little time for yourself. Now, a thousand other people would say that you should use your time better and to me, that is good. But, I won't say such. Sure, you can do it if you'd like.

But to me, you need to have a plan. Something that can run smoothly. Every time you go home, think what you want to do. You walk or drive your way home, think step by step of your free time plan. Divide the plan into segments of half hours. Like, spend half an hour cooking and 2 hours reading or something. If your plan is disrupted, then change th plan. It usually takes 5 to 10 minutes just to do this.

Even if I hate my studies, I don't have a problem with my time management. I've been doing it on my own for years now.

Plus, if your studies are hard, find certain patterns in it like similar characteristics from letters to steps and to much more. I have a terrible memory so I use this as a way to remember.

Made it based off autistic people and their ability to notice things we normal people don't.
Cirrus Light
Artist -
Thread Starter - The SJW Thread
An Artist Who Rocks - 100+ images under his artist tag
Friendship, Art, and Magic (5 Years) - Celebrated Derpibooru's five year anniversary with friends.
Not a Llama - Happy April Fools Day!
Magical Inkwell - Wrote MLP fanfiction consisting of at least around 1.5k words, and has a verified link to the platform of their choice
Best Artist - Providing quality, Derpibooru-exclusive artwork
Birthday Cake - Celebrated MLP's 7th birthday
Helpful Owl - Drew someone's OC for the 2018 Community Collab
Friendship, Art, and Magic (6 Years) - Celebrated Derpibooru's six year anniversary with friends.

Sciencepone of Science!
@HJSDGCE
Ah, thanks for piping in. I have to say, though, it's not that I only have a few hours to myself, it's that I only have a few useful hours at all. I can make it to a class, or have enough energy to keep my eyes open during a research group meeting afterward. And that's my entire day.

Fortunately I can poke around here even in a half-awake state, which gives me a few extra hours of life to my day, but during that time I'm too tired to make myself do anything productive.



And yeah, usually I'm able to keep myself up pretty well, but these last few weeks this exhaustion has really hit hard… It's hard to not be able to keep up with the things you love and aspire towards. I'm sure I'll make it eventually, though…
GERgta
Artist -
An Artist Who Rocks - 100+ images under their artist tag
Thread Starter - [Dark] Depression/Suicides within the fandom (The revival)

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Arise, thread. ARIIIIIISSEEE!!
Oh wow, I really need to sleep.
So.. A new problem seems to have arised. I have NO attention-span for things that aren't fun at anymore. I just can't concentrate at all. Instead of programming, I often just play some games and then I feel shit because I didn't accomplish anything. Heck, it's even hard for me to even start programming.

It's really messing with me.. I just wanna write some lines of code and do… Stuff. But I just can't bring myself to start nor to stay focused. It works better when friends are involved somehow, but even then I still have huge issues.

Furthermore, the military sent me a letter: Voluntary Military Service. I am not sure if I should join up or not, most of my friends tell me that I shouldn't. But something inside of me tells me to just fuck it and do it, just to make something out of myself. But my body strength probably wouldn't be sufficient anyways…

Everything's kinda confusing, I can't concentrate and I just do not feel like doing anything at all. What do?
Cirrus Light
Artist -
Thread Starter - The SJW Thread
An Artist Who Rocks - 100+ images under his artist tag
Friendship, Art, and Magic (5 Years) - Celebrated Derpibooru's five year anniversary with friends.
Not a Llama - Happy April Fools Day!
Magical Inkwell - Wrote MLP fanfiction consisting of at least around 1.5k words, and has a verified link to the platform of their choice
Best Artist - Providing quality, Derpibooru-exclusive artwork
Birthday Cake - Celebrated MLP's 7th birthday
Helpful Owl - Drew someone's OC for the 2018 Community Collab
Friendship, Art, and Magic (6 Years) - Celebrated Derpibooru's six year anniversary with friends.

Sciencepone of Science!
@GERgta
Advice from a friend who's done time in Afghanistan: "Noooooooo. Don't do it."

Once you sign that stuff, they literally own you like a piece of property. Sooooo, unless you're really desperate for money for college or something…
Gentlecolt
The End wasn't The End - Found a new home after the great exodus of 2012
Wallet After Summer Sale -

I had a year of mandatory service. I mean, I guess it was cool to shoot a gun, the vehicle training and stuff! It messed up my relationships with some people, though. And those fuckers don't appreciate your hard work
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