[Dark] Depression/Suicides within the fandom (The revival)

That1GuyGAMER18

Is it really gay?
I had a fight with my roommate this morning, I really lost my shit, my voice rose to levels I didn't know I was capable of, I also flung a plate across the room. I haven't been this angry in a long time, I think I scared him because he isn't talking to me. Hell, I scared myself.

What have I done?
That1GuyGAMER18

Is it really gay?
@Genevamode
It's a lot of things built up, I'm sure you probably don't want to hear the whole thing so TL;DR is I had been bottling stuff up and I got triggered, I suppose.

But if you want the details,

Well, we have been living since the quarintine. He often has his girlfriend and she's a bit of an… I really don't want to seem judgy as it's not very respectful, but through my observations she is a very dependent attention seeker. (The "if you leave me, I'll kill myself" type).

A few days ago, I got some bad news about my mother being ill. Thank God it was not the coronavirus, but a sickness nonetheless, I began to sleep less and less until I wasn't at all. I am very stressed.

My girlfriend and I have been having some seriously rocky parts in our relationship. I'm worried that we may break up, I would be devastated as I love this girl with all my heart.

This all leading up to this morning, I was having a normal conversation with a close friend of mine from high school, we were talking about a particular video game, and he pointed out that my roommate would suck at it being ghat he often times lacks good team communication skills. He got irritated and told me something along the lines, "You know your friend's a faggot. I'm sick of him being an asshole, and I'm sick of you encouraging him." and that's when I snapped, I yelled at him all the stuff I'm sick of.

His attitude, his girlfriend treating him like shit, my mom being ill, my own relationship problems, my mediocre job, my asshole trade instructors, everything. I just screamed and cried like a crazy person, I became an absolute mess.

He just stared at me the whole time.
Genevamode

forgets everything
@That1GuyGAMER18
@Genevamode
It's a lot of things built up, I'm sure you probably don't want to hear the whole thing so TL;DR is I had been bottling stuff up and I got triggered, I suppose.

But if you want the details,

Well, we have been living since the quarintine. He often has his girlfriend and she's a bit of an… I really don't want to seem judgy as it's not very respectful, but through my observations she is a very dependent attention seeker. (The "if you leave me, I'll kill myself" type).

A few days ago, I got some bad news about my mother being ill. Thank God it was not the coronavirus, but a sickness nonetheless, I began to sleep less and less until I wasn't at all. I am very stressed.

My girlfriend and I have been having some seriously rocky parts in our relationship. I'm worried that we may break up, I would be devastated as I love this girl with all my heart.

This all leading up to this morning, I was having a normal conversation with a close friend of mine from high school, we were talking about a particular video game, and he pointed out that my roommate would suck at it being ghat he often times lacks good team communication skills. He got irritated and told me something along the lines, "You know your friend's a faggot. I'm sick of him being an asshole, and I'm sick of you encouraging him." and that's when I snapped, I yelled at him all the stuff I'm sick of.

His attitude, his girlfriend treating him like shit, my mom being ill, my own relationship problems, my mediocre job, my asshole trade instructors, everything. I just screamed and cried like a crazy person, I became an absolute mess.

He just stared at me the whole time.

You don't need to mince your words, it's okay to describe his girlfriend as a manipulative co-dependent emotional abuser.

I am very sure that your sick mother is in good hands and that she'll be fine. There is nothing you can do to influence the outcome. If possible, try to talk to her online. Apart from that, the best thing you can do is look after your own health.

The fact your friend said "I'm sick of him being an asshole" suggests to me that there's an unresolved grievance between them, or a personality clash. What do you think he meant when he said "I'm sick of you encouraging him"?

You are clearly under a lot of stress, and it was only a matter of time before you snapped. You should not consider yourself to be a "crazy person", rather you should consider yourself a person with limitations who didn't get the outlets he needed to prevent the stress from boiling over. If water boils in a tight container, the steam becomes pressurized and eventually causes the container to explode.

What's your job, if you don't mind me asking?
That1GuyGAMER18

Is it really gay?
@Genevamode
Yeah, he and my friend don't exactly see eye-to-eye and he can get butthurt really easily.

I'm a cook at a short order diner while I'm taking culinary arts training at a trade school. (With the virus I haven't been getting any money and we're tight on cash.)
Genevamode

forgets everything
@That1GuyGAMER18
As someone who has absolutely no idea how to cook, I'm envious.

@Badheart
Man…

@That1GuyGAMER18
Just letting you know I read all this.

He probably has no idea what you're going through, tell him to get off your back and quit being rude.

This is unlikely to work. It would probably be better to ask your rude friend what the problem is. Probably has his own hangups.
That1GuyGAMER18

Is it really gay?
@Badheart
I just don't get a break. I hate that life hands him a set of cards that work, and I have to suffer just to get by.

And he has the audicity to complain while I have to sit quietly while life kicks me over and over again.

That is what really set me off.
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