[Dark] Depression/Suicides within the fandom (The revival)

@Background Pony #434A  
I think you need a therapist. Talking about blowing your own brains out is a sign you really need to go talk to someone. It is a bad idea to come to this thread when you know its only amplifying your own sense of self loathing.

I’ve officially shut off my “optimist” switch. Say hello to the new cynic.

@Background Pony #A40E  
Edgy

Why can’t I just die in peace… everyone is pretty much against me and I’m pretty much on my own at this point. I have nothing really to live for. I have nothing and nobody. I’m thinking I should probably just get it over with but I am too much of a pussy to pull through with it. Maybe I shouldn’t but I want to stop feeling like this and suffering so much from my loneliness and heartache.
 
My lover may actually hate me for life or maybe found a new lover behind my back, false rumors have been spread about me and now I’m being blackmailed, and to top it all off, I’m out of booze and sedatives. Not to mention the virus is spreading in my area. Everyone sucks shit.

@KolpSlack  
So let them catch the virus >=P
 
We’ll still be here when they’re dead.

@Badheart  
Are you sure about that?

@KolpSlack  
That’s how I see things anyway.

@Badheart  
I guess that’s one way of looking at it.

Well, to be honest, I haven’t thought about my depression for a long time. May have to do with the fact that I’ve been fighting for my life for the past few months. But now that I’m on the way to recovery, I can also see what a difficult road lies ahead. My work will probably not be the same because of the Corona virus. I will earn less, and I am not sure how things will continue in the future. I’m with a woman whom I don’t really love from the heart and I feel anything but good because of my appearance at the moment. Sometimes I would have liked to see an end to all of this, but on the other hand there is so much I would like to do. Right now I’m pretty torn up inside. And I somehow have the impression that I have let down a lot of people in the past. There is not as much alcohol as I would like to drown my sorrows in it right now. :-/

still waiting on my foid card. i wonder if i’ll have it some time soon.  
i wonder if i’ll be able to end it once i have a gun. i wouldn’t have to really prep other than to go outside, probably to the wooded area by me. i’m not looking to make a mess in the house. so once i feel the urge to do it, i’ll be able to put it against my head and pull the trigger.  
no more stupid me with my stupid feelings and thoughts.
 
i dont know if id even right a note, i wouldn’t know what to say.

Just had a terrible panic attack (still recovering from it though), I thought that I was going to die :C  

 
FUCKING HATE ANXIETY

@Background Pony #434A  
You realize you can discharge a cartridge with a pipe and a hammer right?
 
If you need a bs excuse to own any gun tell them that you’re going out to shoot to study for videogame design, that you want to mod more realistic gun mechanics in Doom 2 or something.

I wish I never went to college.

@Scrabbleman  
Jeez. I watched all my plans fall apart, made no friends and almost died a couple times in college.
 
I don’t actually have any plans for the future.
 
I’ll never live the way I want, I’ll never be who I want to be. I don’t want to help people because it’s nothing but getting taken advantage of.
 
Fuck peacecorp, giving away all opportunities to help people who beat women, kill transsexuals and don’t believe in science. Waste two years for no educational opportunities and you won’t even get a check big enough for a mid tier assault rifle.

@Ninji  
it never cross my mind actually. probably end up maiming my self if i did it like that.
 
i’ll most likely be getting a real one some time soon. theres nothing in my background that theyd deny me for. just delays because of the virus. since i got that stupid stimulus check i’d have money to buy one.

@Scrabbleman  
I’ll take your advice into consideration.

@Background Pony #434A  
If the pipe is strong like galvanized and a tight enough fit your hand will get burned with backblast but the projectiles of the cartridge should be semi gun deadly.
 
It won’t have as much force as a gun, you are more likely to just horribly mame yourself yes.

@Scrabbleman  
College Kids by Reliant K

Why couldn’t the virus have killed me?

@MethidMan  
Trust me dude, this virus is horrible. It would have been a horrid way to go.

@Genevamode  
Yeah, you’ll sufficate or get sepsis.

I’d like to hide myself please.

just been thinking about the future, and if it’ll be worth it or not.  
if i’ll eventually be content with my life in some way. or will it be for nothing. everythings so strange.
 
the most that’ll happen in the future is me working some job i hate, and being alone.  
i dont see the few friends i have, sticking around. its selfish of me to want them to stay when i plan on leaving everyone one day.

@Background Pony #434A  
There are a lot of times where I think about the same thing. after everything that I’ve been through and continuing to screw my life over I thought “is there anything else left for me?” and there’s a lot of time for my answer has been no but for every time I’ve been able to say no I’ve also found that I’ve also been given so many opportunities, I think a lot of times as humans we focus a lot on our discomfort that we failed to realize some of the things around us. I also think that we are too comfortable with just settling for something, you know the whole working a nine-to-five job and taking care of a woman you don’t care for or man if that’s what you’re into. I think it comes down to our self-esteem and to realize what we really want from life, I’m not saying be a go-getter or something but what I’m saying is is you should try to look at things through what do I want and how can I get it rather than I just want to go with the flow and take whatever life throws at me and just be happy with it.

@Background Pony #434A  
I plan on leaving everyone because I hate everthing, but I’m not sure how some people will take it.
 
I don’t hate myself or anyone else, but everthing in between. What happens when someone becomes disillusioned to the nature of reality and can no longer live a normal life or form a healthy relationship with anyone?
 
Reality is so absurd and terrifying. I’m pretty sure if dead things can feel anything it will be better than the infinate nightmare of human life.
 
Edit: To be clear I wouldn’t worry about me, I’m actually trying to be empathetic to the viewpoints of others.