[Dark] Depression/Suicides within the fandom (The revival)

TenaciousDreamer2nd

@Background Pony #434A

I have dreams of family members I've lost years ago.
Sometimes I wake up crying when I realize it's just a dream and they're still gone.

But I still try to have them. For the past year I've been living retro and reading old magazines and books, watching old shows, and playing older games from 15-20 years ago trying to trigger memories of them when they were still alive so I can increase the chances to have dreams of them. It doesn't always work.
Shylover
Wallet After Summer Sale -

@Background Pony #434A

@Flutter_Lover
I can never be my own person even if I lost my conscience…. I could never be angry at appropriate times, I could never vent out my problems like a real person. Why? ……Because of fear.


@Flutter_Lover
Less of a man I am….


@Shylover
@Flutter_Lover
We all have fear issues. Believe me. You're not the only person. Just hang in there.


@Flutter_Lover
@Shylover
I want to….


@Shylover
@Flutter_Lover
I'm sorry. I'm sorry that you're having a lot of issues. I just wanted to help.


@Shylover
@Flutter_Lover
And I wish there was anything else I could do to help you. I hate seeing you like this. And like I said, nobody deserves to feel like this. Not even you.


@Shylover
Shit. I just now realized why he said "I want to." He doesn't believe me. Oh god. Now I'm really terrified. I don't want to lose my friend.

*sighs anxiously and sadly*
I don't know what to do. I'm so worried about Flutter_Lover. I don't even know what I'm going to do anymore. I want to help him. I don't want him to suffer like this forever. 😓

I just feel completely useless to help a friend, or cheering him up, or even making him feel better. I don't know what to do anymore.
Shylover
Wallet After Summer Sale -

@Background Pony #434A
I tried on Instagram last time. But he hasn't responded back because he's taking a break from it. Plus, he doesn't chat that much on Derpibooru's PMs very much. Only on Instagram, except he's having a break from the app in this week and the next. And yet the issues he's having right now continues to consume him. I feel really anxious and worried.
Background Pony #6048
@Shylover
do you try to have normal conversations with them. you know, not bringing up bad stuff, but just talk. not everyone is comfortable with just saying all thats wrong. and not force it.

not quite sure what else to say.
Shylover
Wallet After Summer Sale -

@Background Pony #434A
Oh my god just stop. Please. I said I'm done. Did you not see my previous message?


@Shylover
@Background Pony #434A
Yes I do….. For god sakes I'm not trying to force anyone to……


Oh just forget it. I'm not good at conversations. It's hopeless. I'm hopeless. I feel nothing but hopelessness and shame today.

:(

I'm going to bed.


Seriously. I'm done. Also, no. I'm not using that one anymore since 2017. Twitter has too much bad news. So again, I'm done talking.

Just let me get some sleep.
Shylover
Wallet After Summer Sale -

Damn it. I can't even sleep after what I did. I blew it. It's all my fault. Everything is my fault. What's the point anymore? I'm an asshole, I'm stupid, I'm mentally ill, I'm useless, I'm pathetic, and I'm a failure.
Background Pony #6048
@Shylover
im sorry. i dont normally get angry. theres no hard feelings. i know you just care about your friend. so just try and get some sleep. then go from there.

id take badhearts suggestion and not listen to peoples opinions.
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