[Dark] Depression/Suicides within the fandom (The revival)

@GERgta
actualy…
doing exercise plus the proper diet will bulk you up, not thin you down.

you'all sad cunts should read all the links in this, unless you are already fit and still depresed.

im on my second day of c25k and im feeling good. theres something about following an actual enstablished joging plan that makes me feel so much better that just doing my own thing.

also, unistalling your vidya, specialy if you have slow internet conection, is a great excuse to get off your ass and do stuff.

HAVE SOME FUCKING MUSIC

I got 0 marks in my quiz because I used a pencil.

Starting to wish of Art School again.

@HJSDGCE

I got 0 marks in my quiz because I used a pencil.

10/10 — the education system is in perfect state.

I've hit a bit of a rut. Recent circumstances may have placed an academic roadblock that I have yet to figure out how to surmount. Worse still, said recent events have got my questioning my abilities.

Under normal circumstances, to your average Joe, this wouldn't be a big deal. The problem is I am my abilities. I've put so much stock into achieving my goals, and have always relied on my abilities to see me through. I was physically weak in HS so I used wit and intellect to survive, I had major depression but I found ways to overcome it. My skills and talents have always gotten me through, but for the first time in my life I am actually confused as what to do next. It's always come rather easy for me as well. I've never had to devote a lot of resources, never really had to scrape by. The chance that it could all fall apart around me is nerve wracking.

I've been tested before, I've had my skills and intellect strained many a time, but this is one of the first times I feel it's outright failed me. What's worse is it's a single thing, one tiny insignificant portion. I have an entire empty desert at my will, yet managed to trip over the smallest pebble.

The frustration and anger I feel right now can't even be truly put to words.

My goal has always been to improve peoples lives, to put my talents to the betterment of mankind. I've held true to that, it's been my driving force. Now, for the first time, that goal seems to be fading, and that terrifies me. To be prevented by such a simple chain of mistakes.

At any rate, I'm not used to expressing this much emotion in front of strangers, I'll take my leave now.

@Zincy
You sound like me.

_{^{I wanted to go to Art School, mom!}}

…Welp. For me, shit ain't getting better. At all. Nobody can really help me with the problems I have, but I dunno… I feel like posting them here…

I met a very beautiful girl, and I started a relationship with her. Like… She was the type of girl I've been searching for years. Very cute. Life was going great again. I really loved her. Alot.

However. I noticed something strange in the skype calls with her, and I had certain fears. Only to be confirmed later. She decided to end the relationship only a few days later, because of distance. And she told me that she didn't think about that at first. That kinda struck me hard.

One day later a friend told me that she was in love with someone else while I was still together with her. At that point, I was pretty sure that she was lying to me. Because sure enough, some days later, she already had another boyfriend. She didn't wanna tell me at first tho.

We still remained friends, but I fucked up so many things. In the end it hurt me alot having her around.

She never loved me as much as I did love her. Now I kinda just wanna stop trying. Just give up. And go… 'Cause I will never find someone like her… And even if I do, that will fail once again because I am simply an ugly person to be around. I give up. Thanks, karma.

@GERgta
wouldnt it be esaier on your mind to think she was just an awful person?

what kind of girl starts a relationship just to break it so soon and then get another boyfriend a few days later? souds like she has some isues.

@GERgta

I'm going to be honest as a female.

Dude, this girl sounds like a total asshole. Forget that cutesy first chance encounter shit you had with her, and focus on the thought that she willingly hurt you, with an emphasis on "willingly". Unfortunately, it's a part of life for people to fall out of love, whether it's suddenly or over a period of time. And when it happens, and you find yourself gravitating toward someone else, you always tell your partner first, no exceptions. Because if she had a shred of care for you, she would have brought it up like an adult.

You couldn't have known, even if you met her in person. If that makes you feel any better.

@paluzna, @And Brother I Hurt People:
You're right, she is an ass for doing that. I realized that some time ago… But is she an asshole in general?

Well I don't know her personally, but from what I gathered, she isn't really an asshole. Just a girl with some problems. I mean, the time I had with her was beautiful (we had lots of fun in Second Life), she was always caring and I even found out that her lifegoal was to work as a veterinarian.

There was also another side of the coin. She was depressed often and even cut herself (Which I didn't mind. She also didn't cut herself while we were together, to my knowledge) and her parents are terrible (is that a theme?).

Also, her brother is also an inmature and abusive asshole, who definitely wanted to get a thing going with her, I just knew it (from skype-calls only, mind you). I didn't say anything, as I didn't want to make any false claims, it was fishy tho. But she noticed that herself some days later (I told her then that I noticed that too). She even wanted to make a pregnancy test, just to make sure that he didn't do anything funny.

I don't know, I don't think that she's an asshole. She's just a troubled girl.
I mean, I don't especially like her anymore for what she did. But jeez…

I don't know.

@GERgta

My fiancee cheated on me after she left for the military, had a disturbing obsession with her mother, faked a pregnancy scare, and severed all contact after I found out she had fucked around. So, I've been in a similar situation.

However, you're a much nicer person because my response to the entire situation was to nail her sister. So, take heart in the fact you have the moral high ground.

@Zincy
Damn, bro… Well, I kinda flipped my shit, and insisted on that she lied and threatened suicide. So I guess we both score about the same.

@GERgta
"is that a theme"
yeah, if someone is fucked up like that its because of either shitty nurture or they came out of the womb whit isues.

or maybe they just have had a shitty life.

@paluzna
Yeah..
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=66Hu-tx1urg

I don't know why, but every time I watch Rainbow Rocks, I'm always reminded of my painful elementary school days, where nearly everyone was against me. Fortunately, they all no longer are like that to me, instead being friendly towards me, but now that the damage has been done, I can't help but feel sad whenever those times come to my mind. Any way to prevent this from taking me away from Rainbow Rocks?

@atalarikt
Don't think elementary school.
Think high school.

@HJSDGCE
Yeah, I know, but EqG is a bit more realistic than FiM (not that I think FiM is bad, it's good, it just doesn't really suit with my actual friendship life), hence why I cringe hard whenever I see the characters get treated like shit. I know that's what the Dazzlings made them do, but the resemblance of the situation with my previous friendship life is awfully uncanny.

@atalarikt
I see your point.
And to be frank, there's no way for me to help you.

My only advice is to watch the movie and don't think of your school life. Don't ger "into" the movie and while watching, keep reminding yourself that it is just a movie.

Always be in touch with reality while watching it. It's hard and you won't enjoy it as much but at least you won't be remembered of your past.

@HJSDGCE
Thanks. Gonna watch it with my mom sometime sooner.

Is it okay if I depend on my religion to calm my heart and not make myself like a soulless corpse? I mean, I know several religious bronies, but I'm still afraid of this decision. Bronies are pretty much very sensitive when it comes to religions…

@atalarikt
Your religion is your thing. Just don't force it to others.
I find it good if you can believe in something.

@Background Pony #D2DA
Thanks. Someone in this booru once mocked me up just for having a religion, so I'm happy you don't think it's a mockery material. And no, I will never force it to others.

@atalarikt
They mock because they do not understand. But the religion is good if you handle it spiritually and not as an organization.
I do not know what is the truth. But people have soul. We see it through our own eyes. And the universe is inherently meaningless. It's too complex and simple at once.
That's my all tought on this. You are free to search your ways.

@Background Pony #D2DA
Thanks for giving me advice. I wish more bronies were just as mature as you when it comes to religions.

after being sick for a week, I immensely want to die again. Just taking notes here. Thankfully I should be able to get back to exercizing tomorrow, which is simply the hard-cure.

I love how life has become a fight not to feel like shit. Fuck you, I ain't gonna lose

People keep sending religious posts and copypastas into Facebook and WhatsApp. Sure, it might make them feel better because they believe it's God's word or something.

But it's making me feel worse.

I have nothing against religion but every time I see these things, I am reminded that I'm surrounded by people who are bigots and willing to kill for their belief. I am reminded that any form of free speech on religion I do can have horrible consequences towards me.

I'm in a fight that if I don't fight, I lose and if I do fight, I get destroyed.