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[Dark] Depression/Suicides within the fandom (The revival)

TempFizzle
Wallet After Summer Sale -

I miss the times as an innocent child before being traumatized all the way into adulthood, of being more happier in life and care-free. The sights, smells, feels, sounds and tastes were more thought-inducing. I only regret living into the teenage years where people were so cruel to me, wanted me to die and watched me cut myself in class with a broken pencil sharpener blade. Being bullied daily, guys and girls. I grew up into even teachers doing the bullying.

It makes me sad that I want to go back before that time. I caused trouble without worry, but it was fun. Running around my childhood town maybe a hundred or more miles from where I am, being mischievous.

Being an adult sucks. The pure intentions of humanity of selfishness and carelessness to the core. The fake smiles and deceitful eyes, a goal of winning a heart by an evil motive. Twisted and shaped by societal standards school and constant reminders of how a human "should" act.

Fuck that. Life ends when you're an adult.
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Deactivated_20191124_01
Toola Roola - For helping others attend the 2019 Community Collab
Friendship, Art, and Magic (2019) - Celebrated Derpibooru's seventh year anniversary with friends
A Really Classy Artist - 250+ images under their artist tag
A Tale For The Ages - Celebrated MLP's 35th Anniversary and FiM's 8th Anniversary
Friendship, Art, and Magic (2018) - Celebrated Derpibooru's six year anniversary with friends.
Helpful Owl - Drew someone's OC for the 2018 Community Collab
Friendship, Art, and Magic (2017) - Celebrated Derpibooru's five year anniversary with friends.
Best Artist - Providing quality, Derpibooru-exclusive artwork
An Artist Who Rocks - 100+ images under their artist tag
Artist -

@TempFizzle
The worst part of being an adult is all the pleasures become faded but the anxiety increases.

It's hard not to cling for the past. I'm just trying to focus on a future where I have the money to do what I want, which might only come in bits and pieces.
Posted Report
ᏰᎯᎠᎻᎬᎯᏒᎿ
Friendship, Art, and Magic (2020) - Took part in the 2020 Community Collab

Ꮖɦɛ Ꮖɛxǟռ.
Dean Martin…I am sad…

Even here, females avoid me.

If I'm such a parasite then maybe I'd be better off as a ghost.

I'll rent a car and go die somewhere cold. Do whatever you want to me. And if anyone tries to stop me? I'll take this pistol and die on the road.

My chest hurts so bad 💔
Posted Report
Gameplay The Pony
Ten years of changes - Celebrated the 10th anniversary of MLP:FiM!
Friendship, Art, and Magic (2020) - Took part in the 2020 Community Collab
Artist -
Friendship, Art, and Magic (2019) - Celebrated Derpibooru's seventh year anniversary with friends
A Tale For The Ages - Celebrated MLP's 35th Anniversary and FiM's 8th Anniversary

@Badheart
Dean Martin…I am sad…

Even here, females avoid me.

If I'm such a parasite then maybe I'd be better off as a ghost.

I'll rent a car and go die somewhere cold. Do whatever you want to me. And if anyone tries to stop me? I'll take this pistol and die on the road.

My chest hurts so bad 💔

No. :( Huggle
Posted Report
TempFizzle
Wallet After Summer Sale -

This depression will literally kill me one day. Eventually I won't even bother writing my thoughts on some site or anywhere else where no one gives a fuck what I say because I'm some unworthy loser, yet someone with the same thoughts gets the typical caring reactions time and time again. Is this what normal problems are like? Where normies feel sad and get "Hope you feel better" bullshit responses? It's a reminder of how utterly hopeless I am deep down, because I'm too far gone. Somedays I don't let it bother me and I feel no emotion, others I'm angry and sad. Whatever.
Posted Report
Background Pony #78AC
@TempFizzle
Hmmm…seems to be plenty of adults around who arehappy and well-adjusted. Maybe they didn't spend all their time whinging how everyone was mean to them and, you know, went out and lived.
Posted Report
TempFizzle
Wallet After Summer Sale -

@Background Pony #BAD3
Don't even try to bully me behind BP status. You are sorely mistaken and haven't stalked me hard enough if that's what you think.

You also aren't well-adjusted either going about failing to understand that people suffer beyond your little imagination, because people like me don't cater to your standards of life.

Keep hiding behind your mask and go nitpick some other person you feel so good about whining about how someone should live.
Posted Report
Background Pony #B64B
@TempFizzle
Hey, he said it in the wrong way but he might have just been trying to help. Not everyone who disagrees with you is a bully. I sent you a message once, not anonymously, wishing you the best and because I saw how bad off you were and I cared. The very thing you were complaining about in this thread earlier, that no one cares, I did. I'm sorry that things are so hard. I've had a lot of depression and tough times myself… But not everyone is careless, and not everyome who disagrees with you is a bully. Maybe he was just trying to help. He said it in the wrong way, but he was probably trying to say that you might find that if you put your best foot forward, slowly and steadily, you might find more people out there who are actually decent. And when you get to feeling like nobody cares, that you should remember when people reach out to you and say they do instead of ignoring it and pretending that they don't. And don't beat yourself up either. I know that's easier said than done, but everyone makes mistakes. We care about you. Please believe us. We're just trying to help. Sure, the ones who are genuinely inane and arrogant can just fuck off, but please don't assume that everyone who disagrees with your premise is against you.
Posted Report
TempFizzle
Wallet After Summer Sale -

Uhg. It's like people think others aren't allowed to feel sad once in awhile and get a lashing sometimes. It's always been that way. People think tough love is going to correct years of trauma. How funny.

It just makes me resent more.

PS: I'm not reading anyone's wall-text of replies. I don't have time to stress over people who don't know me at all.
Dashiefluffywaifu

Reach for the stars *
@TempFizzle
Eh man I care <3 I'm always here to talk, for anyone, might sound ridiculous, to most, but I started to believe in God and my depression feels lifted, maybe try to pray that your day goes well. If you believe you will have a good day, and smile at everyone that walks by with a friendly hello, you might just see the difference. I ain't a sight for sore eyes but I've started to be more outgoing and I love the way I feel now
Posted Report
Anonshy
My Little Pony - 1992 Edition
Friendship, Art, and Magic (2020) - Took part in the 2020 Community Collab
Dream Come True! - Participated in the MLP 9th Anniversary Event
Toola Roola - For helping others attend the 2019 Community Collab
Wallet After Summer Sale -
Friendship, Art, and Magic (2019) - Celebrated Derpibooru's seventh year anniversary with friends.
A Tale For The Ages - Celebrated MLP's 35th Anniversary and FiM's 8th Anniversary
Notoriously Divine Tagger - Consistently uploads images above and beyond the minimum tag requirements. And/or additionally, bringing over the original description from the source if the image has one. Does NOT apply to the uploader adding several to a dozen tags after originally uploading with minimum to bare tagging.
Equality - In our state, we do not stand out.
Friendship, Art, and Magic (2018) - Celebrated Derpibooru's six year anniversary with friends.

Busy - May not Respond
@TempFizzle

I started to write this a while ago but didn't send it because of work. I think it will be a bad time to send it :x

I have to say, I do follow what you write very frequently, in turns it means that I care enough to open what you posted whenever I have a notification from this thread or other thread.

Of course, there are different levels of caring; I can't give care as a friend or relative would do since we don't know each other. If I do reply to your messages, I feel there wouldn't be anything worth enough that I can add. Do I wish your life situation gets better? Of course I do, but saying that won't improve your life.

I am aware that you been through things that I am completely not able to comprehend, if I say some advice I might be falling into an error because of not knowing you –even if the intentions would be positive–

What I do wonder though is what would you like your life to be? How would you like people to treat you?
Posted Report
TempFizzle
Wallet After Summer Sale -

@Anonshy
I don't want to talk about it anymore. People's misunderstandings of me often lead to a barrage of finger-pointing blame. If people don't know or haven't experienced it, then it just leads to arguments and on a more personal level, far beyond anything constructively positive.

Anyone is welcome to read my posts, but I don't want any help. People want to tell me how to live my life and that I'm doing the human thing all wrong, like some kind of political debate. That is what depression is and I know people that post here don't really have depression when they come off condescending and all-knowing and as if my problems spawned out of nowhere, when really it came from other people's abusive nature and giving me more reasons to hide in shame and self-inflict mental pain on myself.
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Background Pony #7AF5
There's a looong rant I have festering inside me but I don't have the energy.
Posted Report
Anonshy
My Little Pony - 1992 Edition
Friendship, Art, and Magic (2020) - Took part in the 2020 Community Collab
Dream Come True! - Participated in the MLP 9th Anniversary Event
Toola Roola - For helping others attend the 2019 Community Collab
Wallet After Summer Sale -
Friendship, Art, and Magic (2019) - Celebrated Derpibooru's seventh year anniversary with friends.
A Tale For The Ages - Celebrated MLP's 35th Anniversary and FiM's 8th Anniversary
Notoriously Divine Tagger - Consistently uploads images above and beyond the minimum tag requirements. And/or additionally, bringing over the original description from the source if the image has one. Does NOT apply to the uploader adding several to a dozen tags after originally uploading with minimum to bare tagging.
Equality - In our state, we do not stand out.
Friendship, Art, and Magic (2018) - Celebrated Derpibooru's six year anniversary with friends.

Busy - May not Respond
@TempFizzle

I see. I think people might come to reply as an attempt of helping, regardless if it's successful or not; they certainly do not know that you don't want it and unfortunately this can lead to an undesired uncomfortably, which I believe I can understand.

I came here for wanting to understand more about you rather than help, I guess I had curiosity since I been reading you a bit since a while. I apologize if I bothered.
Posted Report
TempFizzle
Wallet After Summer Sale -

@Anonshy
Yeah that's pretty much everyone. They're happy and don't understand why others aren't and use it as a form of entertainment or to poke at with a stick. That is why I don't want "help". It's not help at all. All it does is lead to misunderstanding and telling someone what to do, like it's so easy. It's easy for those who don't have depression or history of abuse. It's easy to bully and name-call and generally make someone else feel like shit and still call it "helping" them. That is why I barely posted here, because that is how people are. No one cares; they just want to know more, like watching an eye-catchy YouTube video.

Same reason why people can be stabbed on the street and bleed to death while people pull out their phones to film it all.
Posted Report
tehwatever
Artist -
Ten years of changes - Celebrated the 10th anniversary of MLP:FiM!
Friendship, Art, and Magic (2020) - Took part in the 2020 Community Collab
Wallet After Summer Sale -
Friendship, Art, and Magic (2019) - Celebrated Derpibooru's seventh year anniversary with friends.

@TempFizzle
They're happy
I ain't happy. Not even close. I don't even have a real job, a real skill, a real degree nor a real friend. Unlike you who keeps wanting to be different from the rest of society where, as you say, only look for popular, rich and fancy people. You always lament that society is cruel, nasty etc, but I don't. I accept it for what it is and I WANT to fit in, but I'm a fucking loser who sabotage myself. So no. I ain't happy.
Posted Report
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