[Dark] Depression/Suicides within the fandom (The revival)

@TempFizzle  
Chance of what? Being ripped?

@Minshi Woods  
Connecting with other human beings that also have a connection back.

@TempFizzle  
I don’t share a connection with anybody on this site. If anything, I feel like they all hate me or have low expectations of me.

*MY FUCKING RIB IS BUSTED!*
 
@Minshi Woods  
I don’t hate you, there’s a lot of idiots on here I can’t even talk to.
 
I’m ready to give up trying to help people.

@Badheart  
Well…there’s one, at least.

@Minshi Woods  
It doesn’t have to be here. But I mean in real life.
 
But yes I feel the same, even if people dismiss that idea, after all I’ve seen and through deception, I simply push people away by choice.
 
@Badheart  
Not a good idea calling people idiots because people like myself will automatically assume you mean them. Especially saying trying to help them. Just saying.

I try to connect to people in this thread but I shouldn’t be surprised that it doesn’t work out well. We feel alienated therefore we impose that on others.
 
I don’t think we’re trying to hurt each other, it just comes naturally and without intention.
 
I think you’re a cool person TempFizzle <3

I wish my friends were still alive.

@Labyrinthine  
And my broken heart refuses to believe anything anymore. Time and time again, history repeats. Only inevitable deception awaits. It’s better I ignore everyone. Safer both ways. That’s just my reasoning from such a unique kind of relationship-suffering endured.

@Labyrinthine  
What about me? Am I “cool”?

@Minshi Woods  
I think you’re alright :) I’ve seen you around on the forums long enough to know that

Although if you’re wanting validation from a clinically depressed dipshit like me then I do genuinely worry about you

@Labyrinthine  
Oh…

Dunno why I bother.

@TempFizzle  
Well to be honest it’s hard to refute what you’re saying when you don’t want to take in the kindness of others.
 
I completely understand being inquisitive about peoples motives when they compliment you, I do that on a daily basis but I just feel that trying to reinforce what I’m saying would only aggravate even more.

@Labyrinthine  
Kindness shouldn’t require a reward. I’m simply the wrong person to ask. Which is why I’d rather go my own path.
 
If any kindness was to be given from me, it’s me sparing someone by leaving them. Besides, if someone gets hurt because I don’t react in an expected, typical way, it just shows how fragile they would be to know my real problems and just get hurt anyways. To spare the moments of “bonding” by forgetting anything that happened so as to not scar them.
 
Truly, if only people really knew my motives. To me, I believe people speak to me out of pity more than anything. The last thing I want is someone who is ultimately better than myself, telling me how to live and knowing all my weaknesses to pinpoint and finally bully me out of a desperation attempt to “fix” me.
 
I’ve seen and experienced enough of this deception. Nobody really cares. I am words on anybody’s screen. An unknown being with no face. I only exist here to tell my story to give myself what little purpose I have interest in.

I wish I was healthy

Sucks I can’t get off my medicine on my own because it’s not the right form of pill to cut in half. I was off it for several hours and felt great and when I take it I feel like I could watch paint dry for hours.

I’m going to go cry myself to sleep tonight.

There’s no escape from my fucked up life.
 
In the meantime while I’m falling apart everyone wants me dead.
 
 
It feels good to get that off my chest.

It’s a good thing I don’t have any descendants, they would be disappointed in having a failure for a father.

I’m fine with people no longer wanting to be a part of my life. I just wish they had the decency to tell me that to my face rather than leave me to figure it out myself.
 
I have a feeling isolation is going to be a regular part of day-to-day life for the next several years

@Labyrinthine  
Try Texas.

@Badheart  
I don’t even live in the States bro

@Labyrinthine  
I’d advise against alcohol and caffeine together if cabin fever sets in.
 
 
Another thing whoever lived in my house hammered a bunch of nails everywhere just to make noise, now I get the neighbor’s revenge.