My Little Pony No-No's

A comedic list of things one is not to do in equestria.  
(compilement list are from sevral other forums copid back and forth.)
 

 
I will not give Pinkie Pie Coffe.  
I will not get the mane 6 drunk.  
I will not call Princess Celestria ‘hot buns .. to her face.  
I will not put Rabbit hormones in Flutetrshy’s shampoo.  
I will not moon Princess Luna.  
I will not feed Spike burritos.  
I will not turn the Princess’s Prize Studant’s Baloon into a facimile of the Princess’ rear with the lettering ‘Hi im big butt Celestria’  
I will not give the Cruasers Pixie Stix  
I will not tell Rainbow Dash that shaving her mane makes her fly faster  
i will not tell everyone visiting the library to rent only cheesy romance novels, then give the librarian knowing smiles.  
i will not swap rarity’s collection of gems for rock candy in her sleep  
i will not swap all the sugar in ponyville for nonfat sweetener. The nurse can’t handle that many injured again.  
i will not, under any circumstances, allow the shy one to “accidentally” get sprayed with animal repellant.  
I will not get Pinkie to throw a surprise party for the mayor at 3 am  
I will not get Pinkie to throw a surprise party for Granny Smith at any time  
I am not allowed to bring a hammer and chisel within twenty miles of Discord’s statue  
I am not allowed to bring cans of Red Bull within twenty miles of Pinkie Pie  
I will not search Scootaloo’s bed every morning for eggs  
I will not get Derpy to deliver bowling balls to Rainbow Dash when her cloud house is drifting over Ponyville  
I will not leave a note for Twilight Sparkle telling her a page is missing from one of her books without identifying which book it is  
I will not tell the CMC how cool it would be to have cutie marks based on explosives  
I will not spread rumors that the mayor’s real name is Cuddlemuffin Crumpet  
Dumping poison joke leaves into the town’s water supply was not funny, and doing it two more times was not funny either  
I will not pour gelatin powder into Rarity’s spa soak when she is asleep  
I will not pour dye of any color into Rarity’s spa soak when she is asleep  
I will not send declarations of war to the buffalo, griffin and zebra tribes in the name of Princess Celestia  
I will not send fake letters from Twilight Sparkle to Princess Celestia, especially letters that begin with “Dear Sexy Hooves”  
I will not fill Applejack’s apple cellar with water and throw an underground pool party  
I will not forge papers saying Apple Bloom and Silver Spoon were switched at birth  
I will not hide outside Daisy’s house and shout “Stampede!” every fifteen minutes  
I will not write in Twilight’s spellbooks and add extra words at random  
I will not sneak into Celestia’s bedchambers and paint her to look like Nightmare Moon while she is asleep.  
I will not forge adoption forms for Scootaloo with Rainbow Dash’s name of them  
I will not spike Ponyville’s water supply with fertily drugs and viagra  
I will not feed Winoa large amounts of cheese.  
I will not Trick and/or force either Fluttershy, Twilight Sparkle or Rarity to unbirth the Cutie Mark Crusaders and then take polariods.  
I will not send Big Mac job offers to stud farms.  
I will not trick Spike into using his dragon fire to send the Princess cheap porn.  
I will not forge love letter(s) from Twist to Snails.  
I will not toss Caramel into a vat of his namesake.

I will not take photos of Rarity’ flank and trade them to Spike in exchage for his photos of Twilight.  
I will not switch the Spa’s massage oils with hot sauce, any form of ink, or viniger.  
I will not teach Scootaloo how to make turtle soup.  
I will not give anypony a knife and have them check and see if Blueblood has his namesake.  
I will not feed Applejack’s chickens Skittles, Fruity Pepples, or Trix, as it does not make them lay pre-colored eggs.  
I will not send a fake friendship report from Applebloom stating how she learned ‘its wrong ta wizz in tha punch bowl, and blame it on the dog, when it was Mac’s fault fer takin so long getting reddy fer his date’  
I will not lead the Cows/Sheep etc ‘in glorious revoltion agaist the equine overlords’  
I will not refer to Miss Bon-Bon as ‘the fat one’  
I will not bring Oatmeal cookies to a Pinkielicious Pinkie Pie Party (patent pending)  
I will not introduce Princess Luna to BDSM.  
will not put a spell of Colorblindness on Rarity.  
I will not bleach Rainbow’s mane and tail.  
I will not spaypaint Discrod’s statue.  
I will not switch all the schoolbooks with copies of the Karmare Sutra.  
I will not fill the Guard’s helmets with iching powder or mane dye.  
I will not put a spell on Dash to make her think she needs glasses  
I will not pierce the Curaders ears for any reason whatsoeever.  
I will not tattoo ‘wide load’ upon either Miss Bon-Bon or Mrs. Cake’s rears.  
I will not switch Derpy’s muffins with unfrosted cupcakes  
I will not spike Rarity’s makeup with catnip.  
I will not open a portal so that Bubble Berry and Pinke Pie can be pen pals.  
I will not fake documents stating that the Princess are coming to the Ponyville spa.  
I will not send Twilight an oversized didlo and forge Celestria’s signature on the note.  
will not send Twilight ‘signed’ photos of the Royal Flank.  
I will not send fake document informing Spike of his arranged marrige to a Neighponian dragoness.  
I will not paint ‘Property of Celestria’ uopn Twilight Sparkle’s plot  
I willl not wrap a didlo in a box give it to Sweetie belle and tell her to thank her sister for ‘lending me her (Rairity’s) spare horn’  
I will not show Spike all the pictures of him that Applebloom hides under her mattress  
I will not ‘slip’ lactation pills into Rarity’s afternoon tea  
I will not send Fluttershy an annomous letter that reads ‘the bunny rabbits is coming’  
I will not switch Luna’s hot choclate with triple expresso.  
I will not give Pound Cake a sqeaky mallet.  
I will not switch Twilight and Pinkie Pie’s medications.  
I will not shave everypony in ponyville bald.  
I will not paint a giant image of Dash blowing a rasberry/and or obscene gesture on the underside of her house.  
I will not paint fake Cutie Marks on foals, or paint over the marks on those that have thems.  
I will not relese bees into Cheerilees house to ‘pollinate’ her cutie mark.  
I will not drug Twilight Sparkle and Shining Armor, stick them in the same bed, and paint a hickey on Shining’s neck.  
I will not burst in on the roayl court, yell ’Smooze!” and then pretend to faint.  
I will not send the Mayor a fake notice saying that Ponyville owes over a million bits i taxes due to clerical error.

I will not send Spike a sexy photo of Rarity with the autograph, ‘To my Great Big Spikey-Wikey’  
I will not put superglue on Celestia’s throne.  
will not put pink dye in Celestia’s shampoo.  
I will not run though town scraming ‘run for your lives, the dead trot the earth!’  
I will not send Shining Armor a fake letter from Chysalis demanding pupa support.  
I will not shave the Princess’s heads.  
I will not put posotive pregnancy test(s) in Sweetie Belle/Applebloom’s tash can(s) to freak out their folks.  
I will not impersonate a new guard, and ask Captian Shining Armor what the code call is for exploding plumbing.  
I will not sneak up behing Zecora and yell “Hyenas!”  
—  
I will not fill Cheerilee’s desk with pickels.  
I will not forge a birth certificate stating that Rarity is really Sweetie Belle’s mother and put it in with Sweetie’s homework.  
I will not glue the cat to the dog.

Are you kidding? I would do most of those.
 
Especially paint discord his normal colours. I think he would like the chaos it would cause.

@cb5  
which is why they funny.

I will not make and sell life size Twist plushies to the colts
 
I have to figure out how to get that pepperminty scent to work right first.

I will not pait/carve/other a gaint image of Princess Luna’s behind into canterlot mountain with the message ‘kisseth mine posterior’ underneath.
 
I will paint a fake cutie mark on Spike.
 
I will not glue, staple or tape all the Apples in Sweet Apple Acres to the trees.
 
I will not dye Sweetie Belle’s coat blue.
 
I will not put mousetraps in Daimond Tiara’s desk.
 
I will not sign FLuttershy up for the Marines.

I will not send false acceptance/rejection letters from the Wonderbolts to Rainbowdash
 
During heat season, it’s best to just get out of town
 
No recreating the hindenburg disaster with Twahlite spahkuls Bal oon
 
I will make it a point not show up in a human in equestria fic  
-Worse, a conversion burea fic
 
No testing the drug tolerance of the ponies
 
Unless I have a coffin ready, no tell fluttershy that all her pets made for good eats in the banquet
 
Despite being a colony of nudists, I will endeavor to keep pants on at all times
 
Starting a war between ponies, griffins and dragons, while metal, is frowned upon
 
Do not taunt the big crowny thingy
 
Spreading rumours to Pinkie pie that everyone hates her and are just humouring her… Don’t
 
Unless you enjoy having your genitals outside your body, no showing Applejack your big mac X applejack X applebloom fics.
 
Public urination laws are still a thing in ponyville
 
I will not paint all of rarity’s fabrics an ugly shade of brown
 
Not allowed to knock on every door, Spreading the good word of Celestia
 
She probably won’t get it but burning a cross in front of zecora’s lawn is not something that she’d appreciate
 
Stay out of the open during Derpy’s work hours
 
“Cutie mark crusader Terrorists”!…No
 
Gaslighting Twilight will probably end in disaster
 
No tempting Spike to greed so I can go, “GODZILLA!”
 
I will not tickle the Manticore
 
Can’t use Angel as a Chewtoy for Gilda
 
No breeding Winona and cerebus to see what breed pops out
 
I will not heckle Trixie. Either she’ll do something horrible to me or she’ll break down crying and it’ll be awkward for all
 
I’m pretty sure the guard ponies are sick of “arrow to the knee” jokes by now
 
No giving Discord hard drugs to see what happens  
-that applies to Pinkie too  
-but giving it to Fluttershy would be pretty funny
 
Not to take anything on this list as a challenge

_{not bad, but next time please use the ‘I Will Not’ format. As we play this on three other formums, we also made compiled file as a backup and to avoid repeats and such.}
 
I will not dump poison joke into the Ponyvile water supply.
 
I will not try and breed the cat with the owl to make a domesticated mini-griffin.
 
I will not switch Cheerilee’s apple with a wax one.

@Thegug  

 
IT’S GODZILLA!  
It looks like Godzilla, but due to international copyright laws it’s not  
STILL WE SHOULD RUN LIKE IT’S GODZILLA!  
Though it’s not.  
AH!  
AH!

I will not feed Chrysalis Valentine’s Candy Hearts, claiming they are good substitutes for love.

I will not give Fluttershy animal crackers.

I will not live in or around Ponyville or Canterlot.  
To much end-of-the-world potential.

!24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lp0dvlbFFQ1qfyd9oo1_400.jpg! .  
Ponified.

I will not hide things in Flutterhy’s mane or tail.
 
I will not pretend to be a time traveler and that the world will end unless Spike and Rarity have a baby.

Hilarious thread!
 
I will not pretend to reject Pinkie’s friendship.  
I will not point out that walking around without clothes is indecent.

I will not introduce the villains to the concept of a really big bomb

I will not give Sweetiebelle a peanutbutter and Marshmallow sanwitch.
 
I will not give Fluttershy any kind of Peeps marshmallows.

Dr. Bright is no longer allowed anywhere near the portal to Equestria.

I won’t use apostrophe’s for plural verß’s.

@UTTFISH’S  
I, umm.
 
_{I kinda want to see that happen}

@DSMT  
But he would totally … suck *brick’d

I will not replace the sugarcubes in Rarity’s teaservice with tiny salt licks.
 
I will not ‘inform’ Fluttershy that her new bunny slippers are made with real bunnies.

i will not make gummy dentures.
 
I will not run an ad for ‘snuggle services’ in the paper and forge the girls names on it.