Corrupt A Wish (Forum Game)

Granted. A Gallus is chewing at your TV, mistaking it for a rival rooster.
 
I wish I can have a pet Gallus.

@HorsesandMuchMOAR  
Granted. But you get a pet Smolder instead.

Granted. One night, your Smolder molts into another Gallina!
 
I wish I had a staircase with two statues of hippogriffs.

The staircase has Legos left on them. Darn kids…
 
I want my face on the one-dollar bill.

@Beau Skunky  
Granted, but now you’re getting death threats from right wingers calling you a liberal cuck who doesn’t deserve to be on our currency.
 
I want a bong hit.

You get hit by a bong, shattering it to pieces
 
I wish for coins

They’re chocolate coins.
 
I wish to abolish the IRS.

Granted. Americans now use spinel gems as their currency.
 
I wish they can fend themselve against the oncoming space fleet from that Gilda-worshipping Imperium!
 

They’re armed with M16 assault rifles, M80 machine guns, rocket-propelled grenades and plenty of ammo.
 
I wish for a 4K TV.

You can only watch one channel.
 
I wish that the next poster press a red button for me.

A red button that causes you to self destruct
 
I wish to dance professionally

Granted. Your dance causes you to lose your soul as you transform into Ravana the Demon-King. As you do so a portal to the Warp breaks out, and out emerge an army of rakshasas hungry for human blood and violence.
 

 
I wish the humans of Equestria Girls are more like Eldar from 40k.
 
@Lord Goku
 
Therefore, it’s still a corrupted wish, because these are not enough against a barrage of lasers and plasma!

@HorsesandMuchMOAR  
Granted. But turns out that all the Equestra girls characters are dragons.
 
What can you expact.

so uhhh….what wish do you have?
 
I wish to be happy

Granted. Your satisfaction towards your failures drives you into madness.
 
I wish all the dragons turned into gryphons.

The dragons’ natural prey start to overpopulate and eat all the plantlife, screwing up the ecosystem.
 
I wish to win a million dollar lottery.

It’s Canadian dollars, so the IRS wants to ask you some questions.
 
I wish I could teleport.

Teleport up in the sky
 
I wish to play the trumpet

@Myoozik  
You can play the trumpet but you are absolutely horrible if you try to play any ska or ska-punk music.
 
I wish I didn’t let my emotions get to me and hadn’t crossed out “I ❤️” and put ”fuck” on an “I ❤️ Trump” sign at Barnes and Noble today.

You get accused and attacked by his detractors
 
I wish to press the blue button

@O. Hancock  
Yeah… instead of “F trump” hat. you get a “F Hillary” hat

@Myoozik
 
Granted. America is turned into a monarchy, with a government as inefficient as that of Britain’s.
 
I wish American culture is more like that of a modernised Byzantine Greece.

@Tarkan809  
That’s great! Screw Hillary too.

@HorsesandMuchMOAR
 
You get sieged by the Ottomans
 
I wish emojis replaced written language

Granted. Everyone speaks Sumerian again.
 
I wish we should use Hittite.