Here’s when my far-right views come out and say, those are not “old-fashioned values”, a man should always act like a man regardless of era, but as much as I want to, I’m not here to criticize cb5’s life choices.
With that said.
Though I’m the only child of my parents, I have a similar mother to yours in the way that she wants me to have kids and she’s also very attached to me (normal).
My advice are these.
Regarding her wanting you to have kids, you need to explain to her (calmly and respectfully) that if you have kids for the sake of having kids you’ll end up being a very bad parent, that one should only have kids because one wants to raise a person, bust your ass working happily to give them a future and make them productive members of society one day, and not just have kids to then ignore them and let them become brats etc etc, you need to explain her all these things every time she brings up this conversation, cite examples of people you know to prove your point, and maybe little by little you’ll convince her.
Regarding her thoughts on your transitioning, well first, if you’re paying for all the expenses of your transitioning and it’s what you really want, then you have to muster the courage to tell her clearly (calmly and respectfully) over an over again that you understand that the whole transitioning thing is weird as hell to her, but unfortunately since you’re an independent (or soon to be independent) adult, you’re not committing a crime or anything like that, and that you’re gonna do it anyway, of course the whole speech alone does not convince anyone, you need to demonstrate always and at every moment that despite your transitioning you can be a very responsible and productive member of society and that you can be a good professional too, cite examples of other successful and respectable transgenders to help prove your point (I know none so ¯(°_o)/¯ )
Regarding your brother, I didn’t quite understood what you said, but if you want advice from him, it should not matter his political/moral views since he’s your brother, he might sure as hell disagree with you and criticize you (normal), but he should be able to look pass your differences and give you at least a little advice. (I mean for God’s sake I have far-right views and I’m trying to look past my disagreements with transitioning to actually help you >_> )
And about dating, same thing as with transitioning, muster the courage to to tell her that you understand the whole thing is weird as fuck for her, but it’s what you want, and assure her, convince her that by dating you mean a stable relationship and all that shit, that you’re not going to be a sexual deviant sleeping with every single guy and….well…you get the point, that despite your sexuality you can have a healthy and normal romantic/sexual life like most people, of course, you NEED to demonstrate it, actions speak louder than words after all.
ZORDON’s advice was good, and I hope mine helps you as well, remember “life is not easy” ;)