Going Indognito mode..
A beautiful women wanted to dance with me tonight and I ignored her. Why won’t I let myself be happy? Why won’t I let myself live?
I went to the local bar tonight because I like the band that plays Friday’s. I sat their on a stool, just listening and watching everyone else have a good time.
Some drunk tried to climb on stage before the guitarist pushed him off but all in all everyone behaved.
She came over to me, dancing and looking me in the eye. I’d noticed her looking my way a few times tonight but I brushed it off. But there was no mistaking what her intention was when she approached me. She was beutiful, blonde and in a red sundress. But I Ignored her. Just kept looking at the band until she gave up. I froze up. I didn’t trust her, I didn’t trust myself. “This kind of thing doesnt happen to me, I don’t deserve it” I thought. And because I thought it, I made it true.
And so I’m back here, alone, 29 years old, friendless, never Having been loved or let myself love. I exist but I’m not alive. This is what I deserve. I made this happen. This is no one’s fault but mine.
I’m so Fucking sorry.