Vent thread

@DreamSoda  
lol

I’ve overstayed my welcome as always.

The screen protector took a long time to rearrange so I’ll get a new one.

I give up finding a job. In reality, I’m talent-less and only have the minimum requirements completed for the school year. A lot jobs that I found require being with children and in this generation, they’ve gotten even dumber.

God, I hate doing recounts almost every other time I have to run parts to the welders. It’s a dumb way to “prove that we have enough parts to send them.” (That’s the official reason my boss keeps gicing me.) As if my job wasn’t tedious enough!

Spite is one of the greatest feelings one could ever feel.

I discovered the luscious world of pornography on the internet when I was 9 years old and still doing it evenly more frequently than before.
 
Therapy is a must.

I fell off my bike.

@Scrabbleman  

 
Yeeeesssh 😬

@Takengrin Endmmar: Taken God King of Fear  
It’s been a while since I fell off my bike. It’s not the worst fall I’ve had, but surprisingly the most dramatic.
 
Basically, those bags that people put at the back side of the bike? You know, to carry stuff when riding? Yeah, it got tangled in the back tire, so it stopped and I was thrown off.
 
Honestly, I’m less pissed off at my injury and more on the fact that my bike is now a bit damaged. IT’S MAKING NOISES AND I DON’T LIKE IT.

@Scrabbleman  
Lol

I’ll take the two Bs from AP and Chemistry. I don’t give a shit about the colleges requiring straight As, I just need a decent job with an average salary.

My jaw hurts every time I move it. The holes in my teeth are filled and it feels unatural to me. I’m starting to wish they’d pulled out the teeth instead.

My back has been aching more and more from leaning down to draw than from all the work that I did at my job so far.

I’m going through one the worst, if not the worst, mental health crises, I’ve ever had. Lately after a rather heated discussion about my future and my intelligence, largely under the context of religion, I was basically told what I would do if I failed; what I would do if I wasn’t as smart as I think I am. The person I was talking to was so adament about me having the “right” view on religion that he was quick to dicoruage me from talking about my acedemic and my future because I needed to be right with God.
 
He said maybe things needed to get worse for me so I could appreciate what I had because I was upset that I’m going nowhere in my search for a real job and a real education. Because I desire a better life than the poverty and misery I have, I need to have things get even worse.
 
I don’t know how or why but something happened to my mind. It was like a switch was turned off. Ever since that conversation with the pastor being so mad at me for being frustrated at God and for daring to question him and telling me that my dreams don’t matter and I may just be pursuing this all for nothing I have lost my ability to create like I have. It’s like as soon as I start to think of something abstract and come up with some very complicated design in my head, which I could do before with ease, all of a sudden my mind just stops. It’s like there is a roadblock preventing my thoughts from flowing. Think writer’s block but with everything, not just writing, relating to creativity and critical thinking.
 
I don’t know if it’s subconcipus repression, basically psychosomatic otherwise known as “it’s all in your head” or if there really was some biochemical/neurological change in my brain or maybe there really is something spiritual going on.
 
All I know is I have to get my ability back. I will do anything if only I knew what caused it and how to reverse it.

@someguy111  
I think i would start with limiting contact with whomever you were talking to.

@someguy111  
That guy is an asshole to you and religion is most likely the cause of your problems. Also, getting your life worse is a terrible idea. That kind of logic is just bullshit. Just find some way to get a basic education for a low wage job. I’m not sure what to say about your ability, but I hope it eventually comes back.

I’m tired of seeing the Pinkie ships who meme :/ it was funny at first but it’s now just stale and bland

@someguy111  
My condolences. I know how frustrating losing an ability you once had is. I lost my math and programming skills after two years of major depression and right now I’m slowly trying to get them back.
 
In your case I think you just need to rest and stop talking to whomever you were talking with. Once you dive into the things you love (science, biology, medicine or academia) you’ll get them back. I believe you will.

@PonyPon
 
@JasonRatana
 
@tehwatever  
Thanks for the encouragement. School starts this fall and I had better be ready. If I want to have even the slightest chance at Cornell for grad school I had better come out swinging and absolutely crush my undergrad.

@someguy111  
IKTF. Everyone I know seems to be always looking for an excuse to talk to me about Jesus.

Can I believe in such afterlife where you are reborn again in a different universe than our current one and none of your present conscience would ever exist in that so called hypothetical universe?

@someguy111  
I’m… Going through a similar issue as you are, many times in the past too actually. I used to be fast with math and had a fair amount of understanding of science, including some terms. I also had a pretty vast vocabulary arsenal and a firm grasp on grammar. But being away from school for some time, it just all fizzled over the years. I feel like I’m 12 again…
 
 
Perhaps you’re putting too much unnecessary pressure onto yourself, you’re expecting too much that you’re scared of failure.
 
And the guy you mentioned, he sounds a lot like how my grandmother(who is the defacto spiritual head of my family) talks to me Everytime I visit her. No disrespect intended.

@Lord Goku  
It’s not Christianity, it was that pastor who got so riled up because I dared to question Christianity. I don’t get it, it’s his job as a pastor to answer questions people have regardless of where thay stand religiously, not to judge them and yell at them.

I just simply don’t have the desire to study anymore…  
No matter how much encouragement I get.