Vent thread

@Tranquil Night  
Doing Electrical Engineering exercises.

@Tranquil Night  
Then join a gym. The excercise will give you the pain you want, and at the same time you will be upgrading yourself into better shape. You will kill two birds wirh a single stone.
 
So yeah, feeling depressed? That’s cool, as long you take control of your depression and turn it into your personal bitch to use it as fuel for a better purpose.

@Anonycat  
I am not a masochist; I do not want to feel pain. I want to get out of the pain that I predict for my future, and by doing that, I am causing myself pain in the present. I have intrusive thoughts and anxiety moreso than depression.
 
The exercise is a good idea, though.

I change my mind. I understand the exercise now.
 
@Tranquil Night  
Wait, how does doing pain onto yourself prevent the pain you predicted? Wouldn’t that just stack up pain?

For some reason, I can’t log in.

@Background Pony #DEC9  
Who is this?

@HJSDGCE  
Aj007

Guess I’m just a background pony from now on.

@HJSDGCE  
My intrusive thoughts of hurting myself arose after I decided that it was not feasible to take it even further. I think that I fantasize about hurting myself to take the place of worse thoughts.

@Background Pony #DEC9  
You should probably let the administrators know about your problem here so that they can work on fixing it.

@Tranquil Night  
Of course it works when I actually go to someone about the problem.

@Applejack007  
Ooo, you’re back.

@HJSDGCE  
Yeah, that was weird.

Ugh. For the first time since 1992 I have the flu (type A). Off work until the 23rd. Luckily it’s not that bad because I had a flu shot. It’s more like one of the upper respiratory infections I get.

@Tranquil Night  
If you have intrusive thoughts the best thing you can do is get a hobby and then change your daily routine so you could invade your current thoughts with less negative ones. Anything that could keep you away from your room for a few houres is a good option, like joining a gym, or planting and keeping a garden, or simply walking outside and taking pics of the beautiful things you see like plants, pets, sunsets, what have you.
 
After all, the best way to get rid of a bad habit is by simply replacing it with a new one.

@SonGokuMonkey
 
I mean, most of the video files in question were of fansubbed Super Sentai and Kamen Rider series that I can’t exactly get on physical media…

@Jarkes  
You can always burn an empty Blu-Ray or DVD.

Had a coupon for a free movie rental. Couldn’t decide between Colossal or Resident Evil Vendetta. Ended up choosing RE since my mom was a fan of the live action RE movies and wanted to show her a RE product that didn’t suck.
 
She dismissed it because it was an “animated movie” and doesn’t have “real people” in it. sigh

The city I currently reside in is out almost a million bucks because of our governor before last.
 
Bob “my votes for a gold watch” McDonnell ( R ) signed a botched deal with a steel refinery shipping over 1.9 million dollars to lure them here to make jobs.
 
The company, which is worth 5 billion, shuttered the refinery after 4 years and is refusing to pay back the incentive. Normally, these incentives are under contract and are subject to refund if the company doesn’t stay for a certain amount of time.
 
McDonnell fucked up, as did VEDP, the economic think tank that worked the deal out. So now, the city is out a bunch of cash, and those jobs have all evaporated.

Intrusive Thoughts
 
Full disclosure, I don’t know how effective this piece of advice will be for other people, and the logic behind it might be complete bullshit. But I get intrusive thoughts all the time, so I’ve unintentionally created a library of catchy phrases. Four to six syllables, usually with alliteration. Then, I use these to divert the intrusive thought to something more pleasant, and satisfy the brain’s “craving”. This song is a goldmine for such phrases.
 
Another thing that helps is learning how to program, compose music, or write poetry, because it gives your brain something to do.

@Anonycat  
@Goobington  
Thank you for suggesting ideas for dealing with intrusive thoughts.
 
@Anonycat  

I have tried doing many activities, and the only ones that I have liked are making digital art, coding, and learning about psychology. For these three things, I have not been able to make art, have nothing that I want to code, and have lost my fascination for psychology.
 
@Goobington  
Doing anything good to take your mind away from intrusive thoughts is what is normally recommended. If that includes listening to a song or replaying it in your head, then it is not “bullshit”. As Anonycat said: “After all, the best way to get rid of a bad habit is by simply replacing it with a new one.”
 
I took a high-school introductory computer science class last year, and I enjoyed it. I do not have enough knowledge to program a real application, but I have attempted to do this before in Javascript. Another issue is finding something feasible to program that I have the inspiration to do.
 
I have tried composing chiptunes (digital music in a low-bit resolution) in the past, but I am not good at it. I am not able to make a composition that I am satisfied with.
 
I have rarely written poetry on my own terms in the past, but it is not something that really interests me.
 
**********  
I am really scared. I have an appointment with my therapist at 8:00 AM tomorrow, and I am going to tell him some sensitive information. I may be going to a mental hospital, if my therapist deems it to be necessary.

I saw the last owner of my house at the hospital. There was this girl sitting in a dark room stuck in bed, he was there to see her…
 
That really fucked me up,  
I couldn’t even look.

It’s amazing how fast I can go from a “yeah let’s do this” mood to suddenly just wanting to curl up into a ball and not ever have to deal with anything.
 
_{what happened was, I was about to do homework, and I decided to put on some music to listen to, but then I made the mistake of clicking this and it just reminded me of how I feel about a particular fictional character and how she’s never actually going to be real and it just killed any of my motivation to do my homework
 
^{why the fuck can’t I just be into actual human beings like a normal person?  
like, I know that wouldn’t fix the issue by itself but… eh idefk}}

“I am not a vein person, I am not a vein person…”
 
Holy fuck I have frown lines, gods help me.

Fucking YouTURD made another sudden change to their interface, now it lags.