Vent thread

@Nupie The Hero  
I do that sometimes to everyone. I’m not an emotional person.

@Zincy  
Ehhh… I’d like to be younger.  
I used to have a very social life.  
Not many games, more school and friends at school.  
But then shit happened and… my childhood went away pretty damned fast now that I look at it…
 
I lost most of my friends because we couldn’t afford public schools. After we moved, I lost what friends I had left.  
We lost the internet for a long time, so I also lost my internet friends.  
Most of them aren’t as active or aren’t active at all.
 
And that’s just friends.  
My parents went through a divorce when I was about 9? 10 maybe.
 
At first, I didn’t really understand.  
But then my dad moved farther away and we couldn’t see him anymore.
 
I hear lyrics to songs and it makes me break down. It hurts to know that my dad gets so drunk he mixes up my birthday with my little brothers…  
it’s all fucked up.  
I just wish I could be 7 again and not have to worry about getting a job or growing up.  
I wish I did a little bit more with my childhood. I seemed to laugh a little bit more.

I don’t know if I’d want to be younger again. Sure, I wouldn’t be irrationally depressed anymore, but I’d be haunted by other fears and I’d have to start over the whole ‘socializing with people’ thing, plus I’d inevitably have to start my relationship life over again and…
 
It sucks to be depressed and not have as much fun with things anymore, but at least I’m less bad at all the rest now.

I gotta go to bed. Its very late. :/

I honestly don’t want to be younger anymore. I used to, but I remembered how bad my teenage life was. I was nearly suicidal back then because I was never happy. I got broken up emotionally so much that I kept repeating to myself how much a nuisance my emotions were, so I killed it.
 
In high school, I was remembered as a ruthless person. Because I didn’t care about other people’s “feelings”. I was a prefect and I abide the rules to the tee. As I left school, I was the quiet person at the corner. People would notice me, know me but no one would talk to me since I intimidated them.
 
That’s how I became emotionally broken.

@HJSDGCE  
Damn… like spitfire from the Rainbow Crush Comic.  
:( sorry to hear that bro.

I wish I could talk to people my own age without having any paranoid delusions that they are just being sarcastic assholes towards me and secretly hate my guts.
 
2015 was a pretty damn awful year for me. 2016 was probably my fondest, despite my academic progress being for naught. Sometimes I do feel if the world premeditated all of this “putting me in the same class with the people I could get along with the least and would torment me the most”, especially 2011-2015, I am aware I should let it go, but damn if there aren’t a few people from that time whose face I wanted to drive my fist through.

People learn that you’re not crazy after all and what you said made sense, but what the fuck is it worth?
 
So fuck them, I’ll just be the strong silent type, and if they wonder why I don’t talk much then there’s their answer.

Got one of those jobs that require me to be there at the ungodly hour of 6 a.m. again. I hate early start times!

@SonGokuMonkey  
Well remimd me of my high school time. Always get to the school before 7 pm or you have to clean the entire high school yard or if you are so unlucky clean the school restroom including the toilet., and because I am lazy. I always arrive at almost 7 pm, and I had been being punish for 15-21 times in my entire high school time or about 5-7 times in each year. What a good memories.

My mom doesn’t seem to understand that when I’m venting to her about something stupid, that I’m not asking for advice, and that even the advice itself is something stupid or something anyone would have already thought about. This just adds on to the times where she can’t understand what I’m trying to say, and in the end I’m just feeling more stressed in our conversation and wasting more time trying to talk about it to her rather than me actually doing what I’m supposed to do. I’m trying to vent to somebody else so I could feel better afterwards, but all it’s doing is just adding onto my stress and making the other person stressed as well. It’s making me even less motivated to do my work, which is exactly why I feel so inclined to even waste my time to write this, which pretty much is venting about venting rather than my original problem I’ll get over in a few minutes. I’m so tired of this unending cycle of just trying to vent and it just making me feel worse afterwards, and she actually fucking wonders why I tell her she’s adding onto my stressload.

@Background Pony #A6F1
 
@VNagato  
Damn dude, I’m sorry to hear about that :(
 
If you think that a professional would help, go try it. It’s not good having all that stress piled up.

@ice1517  
Second post was supposed to be as BGP too but I misclicked, ugh. Now I’ll be able to look back at that vent, days, weeks, months, possibly years and cringe. Yayyyyy  
I don’t think I have the time, much less will to do so. Thanks though

@VNagato  
Well, I do hoep that you find a way to sort this out.
 
You’re a good person, I don’t want yout o end up getting stuck in this cycle of stress.

@ice1517  
Hoping so too, thank you

@VNagato  
You’re welcome.
 
I’m here if you ever need to vnt or anything.

Thank you Firefox for finally redeeming yourself after a year and a half.

Well fuck, it looks I don’t get a raise until the end of my second year at the job.
 
And I already feel the absence of that 50 cent night differential, what with my pay check average dropping by $110.

Stuffing my face with a donut and chips. Siigh

@Applejack007
 
OH OH || ponut || and chips? I mean uh, donut. That’s also great.

Friendly reminder:  
Tag abuse things abuse.

All of the talk over not having relationships and feeling empty without one. I went through that phase and eventually got over it after years of depression, frustration, false hope, and eventually ceasing to care anymore. I’m well on my way to becoming a 30 year old relationship and sex virgin. I only need two more years.
 
That’s not to say I wouldn’t like to find someone now, but I realized looking for it doesn’t work, at least not for everyone. I’m just too different from most people to be compatible, plus since I never went to college and landed a good paying job, no one will want me for that reason alone, nevermind the rest. I’ve just learned to be complacent with roleplay, porn, and imagination. At least I have a few friends, albeit long distance internet buddies that I never see in person.
 
Does it hurt and sometimes make me feel unwanted and less valued as a human being? Sure, sometimes I fall into a slump, but I always pull myself back up. I know I don’t have a great body and fail at some common aspects of adult life that are second-nature to most, and yes, I can be lazy and I seriously lack ambition and a good work ethic. At this point, I care most about making money to pay bills and survive and hopefully earn more cash to buy stuff to enjoy.
 
People are too complicated for me to take enough time to figure them out and unlock anything more than a casual friendship. I still see myself alone and single at 40. Beyond that, I don’t even want to think about it.

@Ethereal Divide  
Same here.