Vent thread

@neutralgrey  
Don’t you just hate gases in your intestines?

@SeraphimDawn  
Take some laxatives.
 
Eat some crackers, drink some prune juice/coffee.

@NotYourAverageLurker  
It’s coming out… slowly.

@SeraphimDawn  
They’re the worst

I should really be studying. But I never have the motivation to do it. When I was a kid, there’s always someone who tells me to do my work and honestly, that helps a lot. Motivating oneself is hard as hell because you don’t feel like what you do matters.
 
Urgh, why did my anger get replaced with self-loathing? That used to be a great motivator.

When I was a kid though adulthood, I was never told to get to doing homework, but there were punishments for low grades. So every day after school I’d isolate myself away from everything that brings me happiness until I got my homework done. And everytime I completed a test I forgot the information I memorized for it a day or two afterwards, since it was no longer necessary to me.
 
I’d still sometimes wait until the day a project was due before working on it. That absolutely sounds like something I would do.

@Background Pony #798E  
Heh, sounds familiar. Except the punishment for low grades is shame to me.

@SeraphimDawn
 
I no longer eat beef, but anything that McDonald’s classified as such seemed to be laced with laxatives or something.

So less than 24 hours from now I will be starting a new job in a city I have never been to before in a vehicle I have never driven before doing a job I have never done before. To say the least I’m very scared.

@Dave33333
 
I don’t want to go into specifics, but let’s just say going to the bathroom was a bit painful for almost an hour with my hands being 1/2 way back to normal this morning. It’ll probably take the better part of today for me to get better.
 
 
@NotYourAverageLurker
 
Yes, in hindsight, I should have worn gloves. What’s worse is the fact I didn’t heed the advice I had given to another person, thus making me look like a fool. My mind is so frazzled as of late it concerns me, but, thankfully, I know the reason I’m so frazzled comes from me having a job right now where I’m trying to perform my best for the final portion of a 2nd degree.
 
In the end, it’s a lesson learned. In all honesty, as an inquisitive person who would like to call himself a scientist, I’m intrigued at the consequence and why things happened vs. the outright pain I endured. Starting to think I stumbled upon a redneck pepper-spray that burns like hell.

I’m gonna go ahead and put out a blanket apology to everyone if I said anything untoward last night when I was drinking. I figure it’s just easier this way, since I really can’t remember what I said, but I know I must’ve said something stupid.

@someguy111  
Good luck. Patience and truck stops are your best friend.

I really am starting to think god doesn’t want me to even be happy anymore.
 
I’m so tired of life being shitty now like every single day. I can’t take anymore of this.

@Number1pegasus  
What happened?

@Number1pegasus  
God wants you to be happy.

@Nightweaver20xx
 
We’ve all got those moments

@NotYourAverageLurker  
@Dave33333
 
There is nothing that I can say here that wouldn’t sound disrespectful…like, holy shit.

@Rpground  
Sorry about the morbidity.

@NotYourAverageLurker  
No, don’t feel sorry. I just didn’t want to say anything really because I’m gonna sounds like I don’t respect those that lost their lives or what have you.

@Rpground  
Oh. Okay then.

I explained my earlier situation in the mod thread… I feel like I lifted a weight off my chest, now I can actually rest easy!

I’m having second thoughts about this job. I feel I bit off more than I can chew. I jumped into it with out much thought, thinking only of the money I need to make and focusing only on the positives. I was way too impulsive and now I feel I am going to pay the price.
 
Right now my heart is pounding so fast and hard I can actually feel my heartbeat in my eyes just from thinking about it. It’s too late to back out now, I’m going to do at least a week which is supposed to be my trial run. Hopefully after this week, if I survive, I will be able to just be honest and say this is not for me. I hope the boss will understand. He’s a great guy, very nice and generous to employees, which is going to make this harder because I don’t want to disappoint him.
 
I just don’t have confidence in my abilities to do this job; all it takes is one mistake and I could not only get fired but I could also be slapped with a huge ticket, get points on my license or possibly even worse. I just can’t think of any other job that would be a good fit for me. I love to travel and be out all day, I can’t stand being behind a desk but I’m not very athletic so more physical jobs like construction are not going to work. What other job other than driving would be a good fit I wonder. I thought of being a pilot but I just don’t think it’s for me. I thought of being a forest ranger since I love the outdoors but it’s too close to being a police officer for me.
 
I would love to one day own my own company and do things my way but until that happens I just need a decent job and in my haste and desperation I feel I made a really bad choice.

@someguy111  
Just come down and ease into it, don’t let anyone try to psyche you out.
 
When I had my first official job, I cried a bit every couple nights because the reality of doing it hit me again and again, and I was struck with a mixture of extreme anxiety and sickening pride.
 
My point is, stick with it and move forward.

@PonyPon  
It’s not that I won’t do it because I’m being stubborn or lazy (I’ve had jobs before that I most certainly could do but I hated them so much because of how boring or otherwise how stressful it was but I manned up and got through it) its because I don’t think I can do it, I really don’t think I have the ability to be able to do this job properly. It’s kind of like asking a little 90 lb weakling to be an Olympic weightlifter for a living.

So guess what?
 
My goddamn computer must have been attacked or something. Because it’s now taking forever to reboot and is on a goddamn “My System Recovery” window.
 
I might lose all my personal files because there’s not enough room for a backup. And if that weren’t enough, looking on HP for technical support for this type of computer warrants no results. I guess it’s obsolete despite being only four years old?
 
But this is just another example of life finding new and creative ways to push me to my breaking point.