Vent thread

I guess one reason why i really have self-doubt and i don’t view myself attractive i think really go back to school
 
Where sometimes some people would pick on me for just being a typical light-skin aka mixed and that “Light-skins are just the worst people in the world” and i guess that followed me even out of Secondary-School

I’m starting to think that I’m one of those “timid souls” mentioned by TR so many years ago. To whit:
 
It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.
 
Very seldom in my life have I ever dared to do anything outside of my comfort zone. I’m like the alternate universe version of Captain Picard, Lieutenant Picard:  

 
I have rarely tried to do anything I didn’t know I could succeed at, and thus, have worn a deep rut of mediocrity that threatens to overwhelm me. I haven’t tried dating… ever. Here’s my entire romantic life, in total: In 2002 I flew down to Florida to visit a young woman I barely knew because I liked a piece of Sonic fanart she drew. I am not even kidding you. While I was there I got rear-ended trying to take her to SeaWorld. We never hooked up. In 2003 I flew to Minnesota to have a four-way with three other Sonic fans. We thought we’d stay together forever. One of them flew out to stay with me for three months and then grew sick of my bullshit and flew home. I hacked her website in revenge and nearly got arrested for it. Just last year I wrote a sexually suggestive email to one of my co-workers, thinking she was interested in me. I was promptly called on the carpet by my boss and summarily fired for sexual harassment.
 
I’m 37 years old now. Do you know what that’s like? To watch yourself piss your own life away because you’re scared to try? I’m not a man. I’m a little boy, still bound to his mother’s purse strings and emotional support.
 
Do you know that line from the season 5 song, “You can’t have a nightmare if you never dream?” That’s me. All I do is drink and play video games and chat with you people online and rarely leave my apartment now. I have no real friends, no girlfriend, very few job prospects and with my mother in poor health, very little hope left.  

@Nightweaver20xx
 
Ok there is a certain factor in play here. You are self aware of the situation and don’t think positively of said situation I guess? Therefore assuming this is the case, why not try different strategies and ways of doing things? I hope you wouldn’t say you are getting too old to try different ways either, I’d never believe that’s true of nearly anyone unless they are physically immobile.

@Xari  
Beauty is subjective.  
Those people are just meanies for the lack of better terms.  
Also, I often think lighter skin people are more attractive.

Last night, a friend of mine decided to cut me and another group of friends out of his life. No build up, pretty much just said “bye”, deleted and blocked us. I don’t get how you can just leave people in a tick, especially those who care about you.

@Nightweaver20xx  
Wait, seriously? You hacked a person’s website because they left you? Isn’t that just really petty?

@Nightweaver20xx  

 
Yes, you can. In the words of the immortal poet Mário Quintana:
 
“Há noites que eu não posso dormir de remorso por tudo o que eu deixei de cometer.”  
or in my bad translation  
“There are nights that I can’t sleep of remorse for all the things I didn’t do.”
 
I can’t say much more than: ‘do what do you think that must be done’. If you think you could utilize your free time to help your mother before she departs, do it. If you think you should be searching for a job, do it. If you think you should spend this time playing every game you didn’t have time to play while working, do it. Do what you think should be done, step out when you already did what you deem necessary or possible, try to find a balance. If you can’t enjoy what you are doing because you know you should be doing other things, do what you should be doing. If you think you are tired of only doing things that don’t make you happy (obligations), take a break and play.
 
@ArkyNoid
 
I also dislike this thinking. The current ocidental culture seems to say that everything interesting your life will happen before the 40 years, after that you are only waiting death to come. Do you know the history of José Saramago? His books started to sell at age 58 (he got back to writing shortly before this happened), remarried at age 66 to what he considered the love of his life, was awarded the nobel prize of literature at age 76, died twelve years after, at 88 (in the year of 2010).
 
@Blackenedblue
 
When those things happened in my group of friends, almost always the cause was a woman/man (romantic interest) who told our friend to cut other people of their life.
 
@SeraphimDawn
 
“Beauty is subjective.”
 
Yes. After I get to know well a person, my attraction to them have much more to do with how close we are, than with physical beauty.
 
@HJSDGCE
 
I think he is aware of this. Not defending him, but probably was in the heat of the moment.

@arcanedarness  
You really shouldn’t judge without knowing the full context.
 
One thing you should know about me is that my loyalty lies with my family.  
I will always do what they tell me.  
The person I killed was my great grandfather. I did it because he asked me to. Stabbed him in the chest with the sword that he gave me.
 
And another thing, before you voice you’re disapproval in disgust, know that I don’t care for your foreign standards.

@Albus Fahrenheits  
I think what you did was honorable. Your grandfather asked it and you decided to honor his decision. Not a lot of people would do this.
 
You’re a good man.

@HJSDGCE  
Thank you. Some how I knew you’d see it that way.
 
Also, He is my great grandfather. He lived for over a hundred.

@Albus Fahrenheits  
He’s a great great-grandfather. He trusted you and you made him proud. If my friend were to ask me to do the same, I’d do it without question.

@HJSDGCE  
He lamented over the fact that he outlived his children. No parent must bury their child.  
Suicide is outlawed from the family. So the only other option is to let the heir do his duty.

@HJSDGCE  

 
Yes I did. Well, not hacked exactly. She left her computer with me when she left, so I logged into the website she ran as an administrator because she left her password saved on the computer and started deleting half of the forums. It was a very bad move, but that was the kind of person I was back then. I keep telling you people how fucked up I am, and how there’s a reason nobody wants to be my friend. Now do you believe me?

@Nightweaver20xx  
Yes.  
You better not do anything like that again because even I have problems with that.

@HJSDGCE  
I wouldn’t worry. There is zero chance of that happening again. Fact is, I’m completely inept when it comes to actual computer hacking. I barely understand BASIC. Not to mention that was more than 13 years ago, and I’ve changed my attitude since then, my 11 bans on this site notwithstanding. I know that nobody on Derpibooru likes me or trusts me, and that’s something I just assume everywhere I go now. It’s just easier to hate myself and assume other people do the same than try to reach out to them.

@arcanedarness  

 
That’s fair, but in this case, the guy admitted that he wasn’t much of a brony nowadays, which is fair enough, but why cut people off completely just because you no longer have one thing in common?

By the way, you want some proof that people are overreacting too much about supposed racism?
 
Apparently, liking My Little Pony makes you a racist now.

@TheHappySpaceman  
Not the worst thing I’ve been called.

@TheHappySpaceman  
That’s the dumbest thing i’ve heard. Also the “you can’t be racist to white people” bullshit again.

@PonyPon  
@Vortaxonus  
Look at some of the things on his blog.
 
“If you are white you were raised in a position of privilege and have been fed racism you’re entire life. All white people are racist it is not up for debate.”
 
“You can’t be racist against white people.”
 
“White people suck.”
 
“This is a monument towards how much I do not care about white tears.”
 
“Neither Latina or Hispanic are races”
 
The fact that this guy says all these things with no sense of irony whatsoever pisses me the hell off.

@TheHappySpaceman  
Especially that last thing.
 
How the hell does he figure that?

@Albus Fahrenheits
 
||  
I see no ethical problem in killing a family member that literally asked for it. I have a friends’s mother that asked him to kill her; she perceived that she has a severe case of Alzheimer’s. My couldn’t bring himself to do it. He and I never saw any ethical problem in killing her (there would be legal trouble, this is sure), but for some isn’t so easy to kill a family member. She is the last person in his close family, maybe the last from his extended family. He would be .
 
I would have chosen another of killing, a sword to the chest is probably painful, even if your grand grandfather asked for it.
 
I was misleaded by the context, it suggested the first kill of a soldier, not the mercy killing of a family member. Again, knowing the exact circunstances make all the difference. My police of not judging without knowing them seems to be right.  
||
 
@Albus Fahrenheits  

 
I do agree with him.
 
@Blackenedblue
 
He could be worried about his images, as he was associating himself with bronies.
 
@TheHappySpaceman
 
This blogger is either a troll or being ironic.

Feeling considerably bummed up after having to deal with an autistic 10 year old girl who has been raiding accounts at Deviantart to steal art, mass curse at people, whine because nobody wants to cuddle her, creating new accounts after being banned and basically being a pest.
 
The girl herself isn’t what pissed me off, what really bummed me up was how her parents let her use the internet unsupervised without caring to see where she is creating accounts (underaged people cannot register on Deviantart) or what trouble is she creating, and much less bothering to teach her basic social rules, as more and more parents with mentally challenged kids simply decide to use the internet as their personal landfill to dump their kids there so they could be someone else’s trouble while the mommys and daddys of the year forget about them for as much they can.
 
And Deviantart is one of their principal landfills as we have to deal with mentally challenged people stealing art, impersonating artists, picking fights, screaming to get special privilegies and basically, causing trouble every goddamn day.
 
For Christ’s sake, either learn how to be decent parents for your disabled kids or simply use a condom if you don’t want to be a parent at all.

@TheHappySpaceman  
Guy thinks it’s impossible to be racist against a white person. Oh boy what a genius we got here, you can even tell from the damn username what a smart individual they are.
 
@Anonycat  
I don’t think there’s anything wrong with kids making accounts, bias because I made a dA account when I was like 12 and I still have it and use it from time to time. The issue here is that her parents raised her to be that spoiled brat who thinks she can get away with that kind of shit. Hell my sister who’s 6 years younger than me always made new accounts and deleted them starting when she was 9, and she only does that stuff because she genuinely wanted to show people her art, she’s never done that kind of dumb shit.  
It’s sad really, I just see so many young kids, like 3 years old, and all they do is play on a tablet while their parent does nothing. I was always on the computer when I was a kid because of my dad, but the way people are raising their kids nowadays is just depressing. The parents don’t look like they’re actually RAISING their kids.

@VNagato  
The minimum age to create an account on Deviantart is 13 years old. Anyone under that age limit is automatically banned because of COPPA laws, no special cases or special privilegies allowed at all.
 
It’s even clearly stated during the registration process.