[Dark] Depression/Suicides within the fandom (The revival)

@Badheart  
I know man, you’re always good company regardless.
 
@TempFizzle  
I just wish my apathy cancelled out the misery it brings on.

@Labyrinthine  
It’s weird how apathy cancels out almost every emotion except sadness.

I see my family in their faces…
 
My only people are thugs.
 
I’ll die before that life takes me.

Once we’ve hit rock bottom, we have nothing left to do, but stay alive.
 
Suicide changes nothing. The government, the schools and mental hospitals are still going to do the same half ass, unsustainable job, nothing is going to change to prevent suicide, and the only people who are going to feel bad about you being gone, are the only ones who don’t deserve the heartache.
 
Strive to outlive your enemies.

@Ninji  
Of course not. That’s just a job to pay the bills or because mommy and daddy wanted them to be in the medical field like old grandpa Joe. If you wanna die you have to do it yourself and keep it a secret because if you tell a soul, life will get much worse. Even more, should it fail. Even your best pal would turn a cold shoulder probably. A padded cell, a needle in the arm and solitary confinement much like life was before, except being utterly restricted to live how you want. Nothing but your thoughts until you lie and say “I’m all better now”, and that really depends on who you impress. Most would just keep you there like an object to look at every once in awhile or to tell their buddies what a nut that guy is at work.

My good and my bad side flip a coin every morning to see who is in control that day. I think Crassus and Pompeius got along better with each other than I did with myself. Funny fact: my zodiac sign is Gemini.

@DarkObsidian  
I’m a Scorpio…rather ironic given my intense fear of arachnids.

i dont even know anymore in my life. i feel like drinking something just to stop it all right now, or stand more hate instead. id rather go down in hate than anything else. the center of my chest started hurting really bad a while back, but it was probably just the “popular” haters shitting on it.

barely anyone posts in the singing thread that I made… it’s lonely in there
 
Also, lately I’ve been doing pretty much nothing… I should at least watch some tv or something… instead of just literally sitting at the computer screen staring at it for hours doing nothing

I know what I’m missing.. my long workouts.. I haven’t had a long workout in… A long time
 
But there’s complications right now for me to really do it.. fuck
 
But totally in about 4 months gonna do my 4-5 hour intense cardio workouts again
 
Also… Meh, idk.. I over think things..  
Gah…
 
Oh I also can’t stop thinking about mistakes or things that could have gone better at work  
Fuck… Why can’t I stop thinking about something about five fucking months ago

I can’t watch Beast Wars without tearing up, a friend of mine used to love this show, and he’s not on this Earth anymore…

Where all the same when you get down to it.

Well, I just learned a valuable lesson: never ever make friends with celebrities, they’ll just brush you off.

@Minshi Woods  
i learned that nearly already. popular people just stay with their “been with their friends for years” friends than have more new friends like us.

I could see the end result from a mile away, I warned them about how alienating and miserable I am but they didn’t listen. They were still under the delusion that being my friend would be worthwhile.
 
What the fuck did you expect? I specifically told you I was a garbage human being to prevent this happening. Fucking christ.

@Labyrinthine  
You’re garbage?
 
I’m convinced that I’m the devil!

@Minshi Woods  
A part of being a celebrity is to appear friendly to everyone, and cherry pick those they’re going to extend time and sincerity towards.
 
Caring about others is the opposite of being in the zone, caring about others requires a wandering mind, because there is so much to care about. To even stop and think about who our friends are requires enough mental energy to pull us out of any focus.
 
Sometimes to care about people we have to clear our minds, and focus on our own stuff.
 
I want to be successful so I can be better towards others. Until then I’ll keep a tight circle, so I don’t strain myself out on social responsibility. I believe the ability to detach is separates celebrities from the rest of us.
 
That said it’s probably not a good idea to be friends with a celebrity, but when they disappear it’s hardly personal.

So far being off seroquel is a fucking nightmare, literally.
 
Almost every night so far has just been nightmares, some of which caused me to fear for my life.

@Labyrinthine  

 
Huggle

I’ve been fucking up
 
If the back of my jaw isn’t filled with smoke I get drunk and break things
 
Instead of contributing to forums I hang out fucking with people

NVM

goddamnit…
 
I started thinking about how I really, really, really wanted to work out
 
But it just doesn’t really… the timing just isn’t right
 
I’m going on a lot of trips over the next few months and… fuck…
 
And then I started hyperventilating a bunch earlier.. started feeling dizzy and tired and basically like I was drunk.. then finally got that out of my system… and now I’m just fucking depressed
 
I really, really, really, really, really want to work out… like long amounts  
But it just doesn’t… the timings… I guess it would still kind of work but.. well..
 
Oh and the two fucking week long trip… it just…
 
I don’t even have the energy to type it out… who fucking reads these anyway…  
I’ll just… just… I should just go lay down…  
Staying depressed now will have a long-term effect on my mood but who fucking cares… I just want to be able to work out whenever, wherever
 
Unfortunately it’s not like I can just take the elliptical everywhere with me  
But hey… life never goes the way you fucking plan  
Because life is fucking stupid  
But everyone knows that.. yet somehow we decide to continue on living… why we haven’t all killed ourselves is a mystery… this world is fucked up and there’s surely a better one but… yet…  
But then again, a perfect world would be boring  
But maybe just not as fucked up like this one…
 
Eh… I’m just thinking outloud

I should stop coming to the forums as much. Usually the only ones that matter are female horse famous people that talk about how lovely they are and many that relate so well. Reputation and status is key, but I think I’d rather live my own life instead of just being ignored when I could use that time being happy elsewhere. I just use the forums to say whatever topic I’m on, but it irritates me to see how easily-led others are to the famous and fortunate.

@TempFizzle  
Hollywood is nothing more than a zoo. I feel sorry for those people, they’ll never live a normal life.
 
What you see is all they have.