[Dark] Depression/Suicides within the fandom (The revival)

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Posts: 2538
Agent Luna
Really Likes Hooves
@MethidMan
Yeah no thanks to people who constantly bash and try to dominate the fuck out of me all the time. No wonder. One hater after another. Dealing with the aftermath of being a neglected post-sociopath, then more of it after its taken its toll.

No wonder people commit suicide to this never ending cycle and whenever speaking out, you get hurt more because everyone points to you because they’re so happy and you aren’t.

Fuck. Why bother even telling you?
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Posts: 2538
Agent Luna
Really Likes Hooves
@MethidMan
I’m not asking you to read mine either. I don’t need to prove to you. I post it because I can and to let others know that they aren’t the only ones depressed as a sign of empathy, not superiority and unhelpful text-walls.
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Zincy's avatar
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Zincy
The End wasn't The End - Found a new home after the great exodus of 2012

Herald of the Void
@Agent Luna

This is bordering on self-absorbtion.

I’m going to be frank, no one really cares enough to actually hate you. Legitimately, I don’t think anyone here would muster the effort needed to hate you.

No one wants to dominate you, control you, carol you, or otherwise manipulate you in any conceivable fashion. You’re just not that important to their lives.

They want to help because you broadcast to the world that you’re hurting. Natural empathy kicks in, and it takes a lot less energy than hating. They wouldn’t benefit from trying to control you, you can’t bolster their efforts in any meaningful way.

The knives are in your head, not the shadows. And certainly not behind anyone’s backs. No one is out to get you because no one cares enough to be.
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BarryFromMars's avatar
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BarryFromMars
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An Artist Who Rocks - 100+ images under their artist tag

Think Mustard Seed.
@Agent Luna

That’s how I thought back when I had a depression.

My reply asking "Wouldn’t it be nice if "Old things are done away with; they are passed away and I feel new and rejeuvenated"?" isn’t asking for you to automatically go off and switch, I just asked what you would think of it?
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Zincy's avatar
Posts: 12527
Zincy
The End wasn't The End - Found a new home after the great exodus of 2012

Herald of the Void
@Agent Luna

You’re the center of your own universe, and what a lonely star you must be.

No man is an island, try and remember that before all the bridges burn, and all the boats head for calmer waters. Especially if you keep treating people like dirt, and striking at every open hand. Pretty soon, you’ll find no more hands reach out…
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Agent Luna
Really Likes Hooves
@Zincy
You condensed it. I can reply to this.

When you start off flailing, I won’t read it. If it’s short and flailing, I will flail back.

As for no hands reaching out, I know negligence better than anyone here. I know how it’s like to be abused and have others watch both in real life and online. It’s nothing new to me. I haven’t received help for so many years. Both parents abandoned me upon birth and gave away to my closest kin. You can’t take anything else from me that’s already been taken.
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Agent Luna
Really Likes Hooves
@BarryFromMars
If anyone had read most of my posts here, they would know more as to why I’m conflicted. I’m actually nice but with a very sharp short temper. Whatever people take me as, I don’t care. I’m not here to play suit-and-tie like it’s a political campaign running for a country. It’s my life. I can tell my own story. All I want to say is, people should really think about how someone develops, especially with trauma.

I certainly didn’t pick it up on my own. Blame my drug-addicted parents that never wanted me.
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Agent Luna
Really Likes Hooves
Been up for a long time. I also had some coffee so it’s hard to sleep. Hell, I couldn’t sleep if I wanted with so much on my mind and still trying to figure out how to socially satisfy myself. It’s been like this for years. Completely like a tool. Simply waiting to die.

I guess I was waiting for hurtful messages, so it might tempt me to end it, but I don’t know. It never reaches that far yet. Probably because I bought a brand new car and have more hopes and dreams now, even if it’s just myself going places alone and listening to music, drowning out the laughter of others.

Humanity’s kinda sad in a way, ya know.
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BarryFromMars's avatar
Posts: 708
BarryFromMars
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An Artist Who Rocks - 100+ images under their artist tag

Think Mustard Seed.
@Agent Luna

I may understand why you posted that when I said this so I’m trying to make it clearer (it was almost word for word out of something more over 200 years old so it’s probably not that clear considering common day speech is not the same:)

"Wouldn’t it be nice if (you could legitimately say to yourself) "Old things (depression and other similar things) are done away with; they are passed away and I (you) feel (again) new and rejeuvenated (unlike the last long while)"?"

I was saying (in a way) imagine for your sake about being at a point where your depression’s over and done with. Do you feel that’s at least a possibility and that depression’s a sign that something has to change?
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Agent Luna
Really Likes Hooves
@BarryFromMars
It will never go away. I realize after many years with it.

I’m not up for arguing about it anymore. It’s just a waste of time of the inevitable fact that no one really understands me.
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Agent Luna
Really Likes Hooves
Eventually, I’ll drift away from this kiddie-site and go back to being more self-sufficient without the need for social interaction online. Talking to mostly kids just isn’t fun to me. It reminds me of the incredibly hateful people back in school years ago, and trying to reason with these types is a waste of effort. Yes, adults can act like kids, which is worse, but I ultimately want to avoid socializing online altogether, especially with the younger generation.

It’s a hate-game. Those that aren’t kissing up to the favorite users of the site, or the majority of any site, are negatively excluded without an ounce of consideration. Most want to fight and argue, and I’d rather just vent it to myself. People think I’m so bad, when at least I don’t go around quoting-out people because they posted something I didn’t like. I keep my shit to myself unless others bring the shit to me first.

To those that dislike how I am, nobody forced you to read it. Don’t go on a gore site expecting no death, because there will be. Accept that people like me exist and use it as motivation and be grateful that you have what I lack desperately.

I will tire out and move away from it, so look forward to my departure and let the constant cycle of happiness flow through here like rain without me one day.
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Rainboom Dash's avatar
Posts: 4549
Rainboom Dash
Not a Llama - Happy April Fools Day!

Rainbooms4Ever
Dangit

I can’t stop drinking this Kombutcha tea lolz

Eh, surely I’ll get tired of it eventually… I’m having like 3 to 4 12 fl ounce bottles a day lol… well, probably every other day I’ll drink 3 to 4 and then not drink any the next day
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Background Pony #8495
I hardly feel motivated to anything but work anymore.
I still make sure to get my exercise so it’s not one of those sedentary things…at least there’s that.
There’s so much stuff I want to do but it’s like my body refuses to do anything I don’t absolutely need to.
Even stuff I enjoyed is impossible to focus on anymore.
What do I do?
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Posts: 2794
TheAnonShy
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Sleepiest Pegasus
Really? Why? Why do I have to have all of sudden negative pessimistic thoughts? I’m not going to give details, but it really makes me feel bad, frightened and principally insecure creating thoughts only affirmed by my own psyche…

It’s frustrating.
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CyanLightning
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The Prodigy Unicorn
@TheAnonShy
Yeah, I know how you feel about that. Honestly my mind also like to do that, despite that those thought already been vented with you. Althought sure it wasn’t as annoying as it used too and that’s the good thing. I might I already say this a lot to you, but those thought is just a messenger from your unconscious mind, it’s based on emotion that can be conflicted with rational thinking. Anyway if you still annoyed with those thought you can vent it with me.
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Rainboom Dash's avatar
Posts: 4549
Rainboom Dash
Not a Llama - Happy April Fools Day!

Rainbooms4Ever
sigh

I don’t fucking know

Idk what Idk

…..

Bored… Tired…. Don’t know what the fuck life is about or for…. Should just go to bed….

Idk..

………

Like….

I’m just confused

Have been confused for… A long time…

I don’t like the feeling…….

I fucking hate it…

Yet it’s there… Every single fucking second….

Why did I even post…

Why…

I don’t feel like typing it out and it won’t solve anything



Guess I’m stupid
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Rainboom Dash's avatar
Posts: 4549
Rainboom Dash
Not a Llama - Happy April Fools Day!

Rainbooms4Ever
I even thought of killing myself once because I knew the confusion would never end


I almost did… I should have…

Or maybe I shouldn’t have

I don’t fucking know
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Posts: 2538
Agent Luna
Really Likes Hooves
It’s fucking amazing how humanity only reaches out to the popular types. The fuck does someone like me mean anything.

This whole world is one big conformity wheel. If you’re born ugly, it’s fine if you’re popular, whether by luck or you happen to sing like a god. But if you’re ugly and have zero things of interest to others, might as well just die. Death is the same thing; being forgotten.

But it’s cool. I hate the popular types and they hate me. Just another Mall shooter is what I’ll be. Thanks to no one in my life.
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