[Dark] Depression/Suicides within the fandom (The revival)

Agent Luna

@MethidMan  
Yeah no thanks to people who constantly bash and try to dominate the fuck out of me all the time. No wonder. One hater after another. Dealing with the aftermath of being a neglected post-sociopath, then more of it after its taken its toll.
 
No wonder people commit suicide to this never ending cycle and whenever speaking out, you get hurt more because everyone points to you because they’re so happy and you aren’t.
 
Fuck. Why bother even telling you?
Agent Luna

@MethidMan  
I’m not asking you to read mine either. I don’t need to prove to you. I post it because I can and to let others know that they aren’t the only ones depressed as a sign of empathy, not superiority and unhelpful text-walls.
Zincy
Solar Supporter - Fought against the New Lunar Republic rebellion on the side of the Solar Deity (April Fools 2023).
Non-Fungible Trixie -
Friendship, Art, and Magic (2020) - Took part in the 2020 Community Collab
Wallet After Summer Sale -
The End wasn't The End - Found a new home after the great exodus of 2012

In Vino Veritas
@Agent Luna
 
This is bordering on self-absorbtion.
 
I’m going to be frank, no one really cares enough to actually hate you. Legitimately, I don’t think anyone here would muster the effort needed to hate you.
 
No one wants to dominate you, control you, carol you, or otherwise manipulate you in any conceivable fashion. You’re just not that important to their lives.
 
They want to help because you broadcast to the world that you’re hurting. Natural empathy kicks in, and it takes a lot less energy than hating. They wouldn’t benefit from trying to control you, you can’t bolster their efforts in any meaningful way.
 
The knives are in your head, not the shadows. And certainly not behind anyone’s backs. No one is out to get you because no one cares enough to be.
Barry Tone
My Little Pony - 1992 Edition
An Artist Who Rocks - 100+ images under their artist tag
Artist -

Needs to know Hebrew.
@Agent Luna
 
That’s how I thought back when I had a depression.
 
My reply asking “Wouldn’t it be nice if “Old things are done away with; they are passed away and I feel new and rejeuvenated”?” isn’t asking for you to automatically go off and switch, I just asked what you would think of it?
Zincy
Solar Supporter - Fought against the New Lunar Republic rebellion on the side of the Solar Deity (April Fools 2023).
Non-Fungible Trixie -
Friendship, Art, and Magic (2020) - Took part in the 2020 Community Collab
Wallet After Summer Sale -
The End wasn't The End - Found a new home after the great exodus of 2012

In Vino Veritas
@Agent Luna
 
You’re the center of your own universe, and what a lonely star you must be.
 
No man is an island, try and remember that before all the bridges burn, and all the boats head for calmer waters. Especially if you keep treating people like dirt, and striking at every open hand. Pretty soon, you’ll find no more hands reach out…
Agent Luna

@Zincy  
You condensed it. I can reply to this.
 
When you start off flailing, I won’t read it. If it’s short and flailing, I will flail back.
 
As for no hands reaching out, I know negligence better than anyone here. I know how it’s like to be abused and have others watch both in real life and online. It’s nothing new to me. I haven’t received help for so many years. Both parents abandoned me upon birth and gave away to my closest kin. You can’t take anything else from me that’s already been taken.
Agent Luna

@BarryFromMars  
If anyone had read most of my posts here, they would know more as to why I’m conflicted. I’m actually nice but with a very sharp short temper. Whatever people take me as, I don’t care. I’m not here to play suit-and-tie like it’s a political campaign running for a country. It’s my life. I can tell my own story. All I want to say is, people should really think about how someone develops, especially with trauma.
 
I certainly didn’t pick it up on my own. Blame my drug-addicted parents that never wanted me.
Agent Luna

Been up for a long time. I also had some coffee so it’s hard to sleep. Hell, I couldn’t sleep if I wanted with so much on my mind and still trying to figure out how to socially satisfy myself. It’s been like this for years. Completely like a tool. Simply waiting to die.
 
I guess I was waiting for hurtful messages, so it might tempt me to end it, but I don’t know. It never reaches that far yet. Probably because I bought a brand new car and have more hopes and dreams now, even if it’s just myself going places alone and listening to music, drowning out the laughter of others.
 
Humanity’s kinda sad in a way, ya know.
Barry Tone
My Little Pony - 1992 Edition
An Artist Who Rocks - 100+ images under their artist tag
Artist -

Needs to know Hebrew.
@Agent Luna
 
I may understand why you posted that when I said this so I’m trying to make it clearer (it was almost word for word out of something more over 200 years old so it’s probably not that clear considering common day speech is not the same:)
 
“Wouldn’t it be nice if (you could legitimately say to yourself) “Old things (depression and other similar things) are done away with; they are passed away and I (you) feel (again) new and rejeuvenated (unlike the last long while)”?”
 
I was saying (in a way) imagine for your sake about being at a point where your depression’s over and done with. Do you feel that’s at least a possibility and that depression’s a sign that something has to change?
Agent Luna

@BarryFromMars  
It will never go away. I realize after many years with it.
 
I’m not up for arguing about it anymore. It’s just a waste of time of the inevitable fact that no one really understands me.
Agent Luna

Eventually, I’ll drift away from this kiddie-site and go back to being more self-sufficient without the need for social interaction online. Talking to mostly kids just isn’t fun to me. It reminds me of the incredibly hateful people back in school years ago, and trying to reason with these types is a waste of effort. Yes, adults can act like kids, which is worse, but I ultimately want to avoid socializing online altogether, especially with the younger generation.
 
It’s a hate-game. Those that aren’t kissing up to the favorite users of the site, or the majority of any site, are negatively excluded without an ounce of consideration. Most want to fight and argue, and I’d rather just vent it to myself. People think I’m so bad, when at least I don’t go around quoting-out people because they posted something I didn’t like. I keep my shit to myself unless others bring the shit to me first.
 
To those that dislike how I am, nobody forced you to read it. Don’t go on a gore site expecting no death, because there will be. Accept that people like me exist and use it as motivation and be grateful that you have what I lack desperately.
 
I will tire out and move away from it, so look forward to my departure and let the constant cycle of happiness flow through here like rain without me one day.
Rainboom Dash
Silly Pony - Celebrated the 13th anniversary of MLP:FIM, and 40 years of MLP!
Shimmering Smile - Celebrated the 10th anniversary of Equestria Girls!
Lunar Hero - Went above and beyond in the name of Lunar freedom, they will be remembered in legends and folklore as paragons of heroism for generations (April Fools 2023).
King Sombra - Celebrated the 10th anniversary of The Crystal Empire!
A Lovely Nightmare Night - Celebrated the 12th anniversary of MLP:FIM!
Princess of Love - Extra special version for those who participated in the Canterlot Wedding 10th anniversary event by contributing art.
Non-Fungible Trixie -
Kinship Through Differences - Celebrated the 11th anniversary of MLP:FIM!
Preenhub - We all know what you were up to this evening~
Ten years of changes - Celebrated the 10th anniversary of MLP:FiM!

Rainbooms4Ever
Dangit
 
I can’t stop drinking this Kombutcha tea lolz
 
Eh, surely I’ll get tired of it eventually… I’m having like 3 to 4 12 fl ounce bottles a day lol… well, probably every other day I’ll drink 3 to 4 and then not drink any the next day
Background Pony #1169
I hardly feel motivated to anything but work anymore.  
I still make sure to get my exercise so it’s not one of those sedentary things…at least there’s that.  
There’s so much stuff I want to do but it’s like my body refuses to do anything I don’t absolutely need to.  
Even stuff I enjoyed is impossible to focus on anymore.  
What do I do?
Anonshy
Preenhub - We all know what you were up to this evening~
Philomena - For helping others attend the 2021 community collab
Twinkling Balloon - Took part in the 2021 community collab.
My Little Pony - 1992 Edition
Friendship, Art, and Magic (2020) - Took part in the 2020 Community Collab
Dream Come True! - Participated in the MLP 9th Anniversary Event
Toola Roola - For helping others attend the 2019 Community Collab
Wallet After Summer Sale -
Friendship, Art, and Magic (2019) - Celebrated Derpibooru's seventh year anniversary with friends.
A Tale For The Ages - Celebrated MLP's 35th Anniversary and FiM's 8th Anniversary

Busy - May not Respond
Really? Why? Why do I have to have all of sudden negative pessimistic thoughts? I’m not going to give details, but it really makes me feel bad, frightened and principally insecure creating thoughts only affirmed by my own psyche…
 
It’s frustrating.
Cyan Lightning
Solar Supporter - Fought against the New Lunar Republic rebellion on the side of the Solar Deity (April Fools 2023).
Princess of Love - Extra special version for those who participated in the Canterlot Wedding 10th anniversary event by contributing art.
Chaotic Little Trees - 1000+ images under their artist tag
Tree of Harmony - Drew someone's OC for the 2022 Community Collab
Elements of Harmony - Had an OC in the 2022 Community Collab
Non-Fungible Trixie -
Kinship Through Differences - Celebrated the 11th anniversary of MLP:FIM!
Twinkling Balloon - Took part in the 2021 community collab.
My Little Pony - 1992 Edition
Friendship, Art, and Magic (2020) - Took part in the 2020 Community Collab

The Prodigy Unicorn
@TheAnonShy  
Yeah, I know how you feel about that. Honestly my mind also like to do that, despite that those thought already been vented with you. Althought sure it wasn’t as annoying as it used too and that’s the good thing. I might I already say this a lot to you, but those thought is just a messenger from your unconscious mind, it’s based on emotion that can be conflicted with rational thinking. Anyway if you still annoyed with those thought you can vent it with me.
Rainboom Dash
Silly Pony - Celebrated the 13th anniversary of MLP:FIM, and 40 years of MLP!
Shimmering Smile - Celebrated the 10th anniversary of Equestria Girls!
Lunar Hero - Went above and beyond in the name of Lunar freedom, they will be remembered in legends and folklore as paragons of heroism for generations (April Fools 2023).
King Sombra - Celebrated the 10th anniversary of The Crystal Empire!
A Lovely Nightmare Night - Celebrated the 12th anniversary of MLP:FIM!
Princess of Love - Extra special version for those who participated in the Canterlot Wedding 10th anniversary event by contributing art.
Non-Fungible Trixie -
Kinship Through Differences - Celebrated the 11th anniversary of MLP:FIM!
Preenhub - We all know what you were up to this evening~
Ten years of changes - Celebrated the 10th anniversary of MLP:FiM!

Rainbooms4Ever
sigh
 
I don’t fucking know
 
Idk what Idk
 
…..
 
Bored… Tired…. Don’t know what the fuck life is about or for…. Should just go to bed….
 
Idk..
 
………
 
Like….
 
I’m just confused
 
Have been confused for… A long time…
 
I don’t like the feeling…….
 
I fucking hate it…
 
Yet it’s there… Every single fucking second….
 
Why did I even post…
 
Why…
 
I don’t feel like typing it out and it won’t solve anything
 
 
Guess I’m stupid
Rainboom Dash
Silly Pony - Celebrated the 13th anniversary of MLP:FIM, and 40 years of MLP!
Shimmering Smile - Celebrated the 10th anniversary of Equestria Girls!
Lunar Hero - Went above and beyond in the name of Lunar freedom, they will be remembered in legends and folklore as paragons of heroism for generations (April Fools 2023).
King Sombra - Celebrated the 10th anniversary of The Crystal Empire!
A Lovely Nightmare Night - Celebrated the 12th anniversary of MLP:FIM!
Princess of Love - Extra special version for those who participated in the Canterlot Wedding 10th anniversary event by contributing art.
Non-Fungible Trixie -
Kinship Through Differences - Celebrated the 11th anniversary of MLP:FIM!
Preenhub - We all know what you were up to this evening~
Ten years of changes - Celebrated the 10th anniversary of MLP:FiM!

Rainbooms4Ever
I even thought of killing myself once because I knew the confusion would never end
 
 
I almost did… I should have…
 
Or maybe I shouldn’t have
 
I don’t fucking know
Agent Luna

It’s fucking amazing how humanity only reaches out to the popular types. The fuck does someone like me mean anything.
 
This whole world is one big conformity wheel. If you’re born ugly, it’s fine if you’re popular, whether by luck or you happen to sing like a god. But if you’re ugly and have zero things of interest to others, might as well just die. Death is the same thing; being forgotten.
 
But it’s cool. I hate the popular types and they hate me. Just another Mall shooter is what I’ll be. Thanks to no one in my life.
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