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[Dark] Depression/Suicides within the fandom (The revival)

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tehwatever's avatar
Posts: 1605
tehwatever
Friendship, Art, and Magic (7 Years) - Celebrated Derpibooru's seventh year anniversary with friends.
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@TempFizzle
Sorry if it came out super aggressive. I just inferred that people who talked to you (including me) always have ulterior motives like wanting to fix you or just want an entertainment—but I don’t. I can’t even fix myself, why try fix you—if you’re even broken.
Maybe you AIN’T broken, that’s why you could see the bullshit around you, while ppl like me live in shit.
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TempFizzle
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@tehwatever
You can live in denial that society isn’t cruel and we’re all just one big happy family if you like. That is your opinion. I have a lot of evidence I could provide that counters it, but perhaps denial is a good way to live because it hurts to think of reality sometimes. Just as we look to MLP as an escape.

I will live my way and you will live your way. At least I can tell others like talking to you and don’t try to punish you for individually thinking on your own, hm? All out of fear.

I can be to blame for my problems, but that’s because no one can honestly think about just exactly how problems are created. I’ve taken the blame so often that it is no wonder I have no self-value. It is no wonder I think the way I do and rebel against so many things.

If you speak out of hate, I’d let you hit me if it would make you feel better. In fact, I want someone to hit me as hard as they can. Maybe it would screw my brain in more correctly.
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tehwatever's avatar
Posts: 1605
tehwatever
Friendship, Art, and Magic (7 Years) - Celebrated Derpibooru's seventh year anniversary with friends.
Wallet After Summer Sale

@TempFizzle
in denial
which part did I even SAY I disagree with you. Go back to all my comments replying to you and you can read that I KNOW society is one hell of an echo chamber for the rich and fancy. Forget skills, forget empathy. You want to make it big in life and found "success" then start stabbing people in the back and pretend like you know more than you actually do.

Difference between you and me is that you stick to your principal and you don’t want to stab people in the back. I DO, but I’m terrible at it. That’s what pisses me off. I’m not pissed off that the world is shit. I’m pissed off that I can’t even succeed in a shit world.
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TempFizzle
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@tehwatever
"You always lament that society is cruel, nasty etc, but I don’t."

I took that as you saying society is good.

Anyways, my ways of living are obviously different. I’ve been hurt a lot more than me doing the hurting to others. It is why I prefer to be a ghost, yet as a human being, it is hard to isolate such a sociable species by force and get good results. This resentment I have wants me to avoid everyone, no matter the possible good intentions.

It is very much like the military in how one is exposed to many things but are trained to feel no emotion. I was diagnosed with PTSD by a therapist for being stressed in situations that I re-lived my childhood by. Even though I’ve never been in a war, I’m still traumatized as if I was.

I also wonder if it’s really you speaking from experience of such pain, or just hating my lifestyle and how I am. I’ve experienced both ways, but most are stemmed from hatred.

I also want to reiterate that brutally forcing someone to change by way of words on the internet (not saying you did or are) just makes matters worse. I may be used to it, but I usually stand my ground and attempt to prove that I’m not some evil creature. That’s just me. Being walked on long enough has made me quite edgy.
tehwatever's avatar
Posts: 1605
tehwatever
Friendship, Art, and Magic (7 Years) - Celebrated Derpibooru's seventh year anniversary with friends.
Wallet After Summer Sale

@TempFizzle
The words "you’re too good for this world" comes to mind whenever I talk to you.

I dislike you not because you’re evil. But because you’re good, but weak. I seriously wish you are far stronger than this, for the sake of ALL of us. If you’re as powerful as Zincy but you still keep your empathy, I’m pretty sure you can shape the world into a place where it values merit and kindness over fame and scheming.
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TempFizzle
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@tehwatever
If you’re wanting me to change how I am for others, it’s not going to happen. I’m not going to replicate my personality to fit someone else’s that you like.

Let’s end this discussion now. It’s already getting personal and it’s going nowhere. Just know I’m allowed to speak here about my darkness and people will continue to create this story about me. I’m also welcome here just like anyone else. I don’t have to read hateful replies of others and I don’t need to do a damn thing what people tell me to. They’re just as weak but in denial of it and think they know how to live like they wrote a bible on it or something. It’s time to move on.

Bye.
Posts: 2508
TempFizzle
Wallet After Summer Sale

It’s unwise to state personal problems online where most are uneducated to really evaluate them. All it does is leave an imprint that could affect you at a later date.

I’m here simply because this is the thread for it and I have a lot of experience with depression. Sure, I’m entertainment for many, as this isn’t my first time explaining my situation. Some wanting to fight and prove ultimately what I’ve been saying all along about the causes of depression. To put simply; no one really gives a shit.

Like I’ve said before, the best way to deal with depression is to not even talk about it.
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