[Dark] Depression/Suicides within the fandom (The revival)

@MethidMan  
Be careful, but aspirin thins blood, and anti-platelet drugs are what you’re looking for.
 
These things are rather dangerous, and can easily cause internal bleeding.
 
Your body is very good as disposing of red blood cells. This is done in the spleen.

@MethidMan  
Dude, no.
 
Leeches are bad.

I’m actually curious about the whole bloodletting thing, and were the idea came about that he needs to do this.
 
It usually leads to iron deficiency.
 
Lot of antixiolics. Valerian is a favorite of mine, many GABA analogs, and the fabeled Valeric Acid that can be transformed into Valproic Acid, the most global and potent anti-epileptic and anti-manic. Not counting Lithium, Lithium is just a shitty, cheap, half ass, highly toxic method of dealing with Bipolar or Epilepsy. It is more powerful than Depakote, for no good reasons.

@Ninji  
…and why would lithium cause an iron deficiency?

@Tranquil Night  
My bad. I meant the bloodletting leads to iron deficiency. The text got jumbled up somehow.

@Ninji  
That makes a lot more sense.
 
By removing your blood, you also remove the nutrients in your blood, and even if your blood cells and plasma replenish, you will still be deficient in bloodborne nutrients.

I’m highly against alien electroltyes being introduced to the body. Specifically any compound or salt that releases free flourine, or lithium into your blood. Your body has no to handle this, just like many heavy metals.
 
Flourine can stick to anything, lithium can go wherever it wants, and biological functions can’t usually clear or digest heavy metals, because you give it an electron, it dumps one right back out.

@Ninji
 
I’d take aspirin to thin my blood, but so would donating platelets, which could help people, and donating platelets requires not taking any aspirin over the past week. Basically I’m donating platelets in lieu of taking aspirin because rather than just take a pill to thin my blood, what better than to give those clotting agents to someone who has very little of it? Might as well give it to somebody and make it a win-win situation.
 
As to why give it to leeches, well, blood-letting (now I’m talking about whole blood, not just platelets) seems to help my depression, which is why I did it in the past, but I seem to be over that for the most part and donating platelets is something you can do on a weekly basis rather than several weeks; more frequent donations = more benefits in a given time. My blood bank points gives me walmart gift cards so they can help pay for groceries.
 
Not that I need financial assistance in buying food, but right now I am trying to save money because I’m moving back to New Jersey in several weeks.
 
I’m not the least bit worried about iron deficiency. I have plenty of iron to go around. If anything I’m more worried about my calcium as I do drink a lot of water and peeing a lot can deplete your calcium levels. Might have to stock up on calcium-fortified orange juice or almond milk (not regular milk, I’m sensitive to that for reasons I still don’t know).
 
I did get some potasssium gluconate pills just now which could help balance out with my sodium intake (which I’ll try to consume less of) and I already have magnesium pills. Those along with fish oil and coenzyme Q10 which I also already have should hopefully give me an edge in my attempt to lower my heart rate and improve my overall heart health. Also gonna start taking more walks, for real this time.

Yeah the potassium and magnesium are the key that enables lots of depressants and sedatives to properly function. Since you take sedatives regularly you might have low potassium and magnesium.
 
If you’re really substance dependent, you might have to take action to reduce your tolerance. Normal people go on ‘tolorance breaks’, but I’m so good at doing drugs, that I have a drug that will instantly strip your tolerance to most substances. NMDA Antagonist. If you don’t know how to use them, then you might be better off just taking a break from sedatives.

@Ninji  

 
Actually no, no I don’t if you’re talking about the ativan. I only take ativan on an as-needed basis and I have very few pills of those. I was supposed to take them during a trial period while also getting a psych evaluation, but seeing a psychiatrist never happened and I guess I’ve taken enough to where it’s too late to be seeing one now that I don’t have enough to take over a routined period. They’re super-cautious about prescribing lorazepam (ativan) since it’s a commonly-abused drug.
 
Only other sedative I take is valerian and I only sometimes take that as one way to help me go to sleep, but lately I just take doxylamine succinate (diphenhydramine no longer works for me) as my sleeping pill. Trying to be careful about that, though, as I don’t want my body to get too used to it in order to get sleepy.

@MethidMan  
Yeah I know how it is. My disabilities require powerful drugs like amphetamines and racetams.
 
Substance abuse is a typical characteristic of bipolar. First substance abuse offence, and bipolar people will never see the drugs they need legally ever again. No more ritalin, no more donepezil, and the only reason they give you depakote is because basically ‘it retards your criminal mind’
 
However the development of better treatments is coming from other countries like Russia so fast, that Pfizer threw a hissy fit and dropped out of the Alziemers medication market. These drugs come out way faster than laws can be produced, and are challenging the laws ability to regulate basic molecules with analogs and prodrugs.
 
Check out one of the prototypical ‘cognitive enhancers’ Modafinil 500+usd a month because there is no offbrand competition. Racetams however have most of their copyrights off shores, and they’re so structurally similar to naturally occurring neuropeptides that the law would have to make your brain illegal to stop them.

Deep down I’m still the same neurotic kid, destined to be ostracized for manic behavior.
 
I get so worked up I ramble on and on to my only friend, I have to add this and that, constantly in fear of how I’m being judged, and it only gets worst and worst as my emotional instability becomes more and more prominent, it becomes an annoyance, which only exacerbates the emotional response.
 
Can I live a life without friends? Is my very cognition so extreme, and toxic, that other people just can’t deal with it?
 
Deep down I’m an angry, belligerent, screaming kid, except now I have armor, and weapons. I appear callous, and indifferent, confident, and I often feel like a tradesmen, I know that like many, I have unique abilities and strengths that hold my chest up. Except I still want to hurt everyone that even resembles the kids that rejected me, my dad that beat the hell out of me, and pointed guns. In fact, I’ll take a murder charge, I’ll probably get along just fine with the people I get stuck with.
 
I get so fucking angry, I don’t believe in good, science has taught me that it is my role to kill, and you don’t need a gun, you need an attitude, a hammer, a drop of mercury, if they do drugs, let them hit a big rip of fentanyle.
 
I’m never going to get what I need, I’m probably going to go to jail for getting albuterol imported. I got asthma on my military records, I’m bipolar and no ones helping. I’m trying to stay a stable individual, but every adversity, any time a math question is too hard, when I’m falling behind on my commissions, I go back to one instinct, Kill the person that atrocitized my inferior genes. Become the king of phychomotor retards, I’ll get some ponies tattooed on me before I go to prison, so people will know that I don’t give a fuck.
 
If I lose my only friend because I’m a phycho piece of work then fuck it. I’ve seen the inner most complexities of my mind, and without depakote the animal in me won’t stop thrashing at and damaging my most complex faculties of reason.
 
Look, I ain’t going to kill no one, my dad is destroying his life with drugs the VA gives him, on top of meth and screwdrivers. His mind is so gone, that there is nothing left to kill.
 
If I can’t have a friend then my mind is gone, and sometimes good people try to be my friend, but we don’t understand each other on fundamental levels. I don’t believe in the good of humanity, we used thermal nuclear devices on civilian targets. I don’t believe I have the capacity to be good, science taught me that I’m a natural born killer. I can’t survive without eating animals I adore because I’m so poor, it’s like I’m force fed my best friends. Have you seen a cow? They’re amazing. Everything I must pledge to protect is fundamentally violent, and selfish.. Just like me. I’ll take whatever risk to be the king of destruction, because I know that it’s the fate of successful genetic variance, otherwise I’m just sludge in the gears of the grand delusion.

I ain’t here threatening to hurt no one or go off the deep end. I just need someone to validate, and understand all the fucked up shit I feel, when I’m not completely blasted on disassociates drawing pony porn, or walking around school high on shit that will land me in a cop car.

@Ninji  
I do not believe that all people are fundamentally good; humanity as a whole has made some major mistakes. This is evidenced by the atomic bomb drops on Nagasaki and Hiroshima, the Holocaust, and the destruction of entire cultures because they were “savage”. However, this does not mean that all, or even most people are evil. I personally believe most people are quite selfish, but not evil.
 
I do not eat meat myself, and I cannot imagine having to do it. Do not contribute to the violence in this world because you dislike violence, as that is merely hypocrisy. Protest and raise awareness in what bothers you, such as the fact that you have to eat meat to gain sustenance.

@Background Pony #F27B  
I know it’s hypocrisy, the point is I have to be a fundamentally callous, selfish person to survive.
 
I have no job, Pell grant is sending me to school. My living situation is unstable, and the only way I’m going to stay here, is to appease. The act of licking someones boots to survive does no involve declaring that you don’t like the food.
 
If I ever become homeless I’m going to die on alcohol, or be in prison making meth

If I naively pretend that I have a choice in the actions that drive my neurosis, then I’m going to be homeless with no education.
 
I’m going to tell my mom I dropped DMT, and I can’t eat meat after the shit I saw. She fringes on vegetarian ideas, while believing that disabled people need the extra sustenance.
 
I know a vegan body builder that’s 400ib straight muscle. His drugs sometimes come from rendered animal products, he got mad when I mentioned it, but if using some animals bodily fluids can keep you from eating a hundred pounds of abused animals a year then so be it.

@Ninji  

I see where selfishness is required to survive, but you do not have to be callous.

One of your rights are being violated by carelessness. How do you expect this issue to get better if nobody raises awareness about it?

@Background Pony #F27B  
Well I’ve learned to be cold, adamant and assertive. These are the desired traits in many labor trades.
 
I’m trying to decide what I’ll eat. Maybe I’ll get a goat and milk her. If I’m drinking milk it’s coming from a happy animal. Same for eggs. I’ll use milk and eggs with my drugs as needed.

My life is so meaninglessness, that if I don’t challenge the status quo about things like morality, reality, and science then I’m worthless.
 
Biochemistry, & Pharmacokinetics is my favorite.
 
But I don’t want my tombstone to be “the guy that really loved his drugs”
 
I have to be vegetarian. To stand for something besides liberating the reputation of chemicals.
 
Its time my tombstone said “the phychonaught that adored sentient life”

@Ninji  
We dropped a thermonuclear device on civilians, but we use the same branch of technology to diagnose illness and treat cancer.
 
Also, you gotta admit: figuring out how to get some weird glowing rocks to do that is pretty damn impressive.

I’m at the point where I’ll expect the worst from just about everything. I feel like I should stop caring.

@Goobington  
Poor people don’t get proper treatment and go undiagnosed. Brain tumor killed my grandma. They didn’t realize it until years of blacking out and losing motor control.
 
Poor people get half assed, they replace blood with saline, and give you inferior drugs that cost 5 dollars a month to make, but they harass you on the phone for the thousand dollar emergency room visit

@Chrys  
Certain drugs can help you with that.
 
Your natural drive to care will be reduced back down to your primal instincts, you’ll lurk around the house for two days eating food out of the fridge with your hands

@Ninji  
Uhh…

Are we talking about something illegal