[Dark] Depression/Suicides within the fandom (The revival)

@Osha  
She has arthritis.
 
And thanks. What do you like about it?

@warc9
 
Sweetie belle is probably my favorite part. I’ve always liked her more than the others.

@Osha  
X3
 
Derpy marshmallow.

I really want to go on a trip to Gettysburg but I don’t think it’ll ever happen. I can’t drive and how the hell do I convince someone to drive 9 hours and spend a couple nights for something they have no interest in. Damn.

This site is making me like less and less people here.

@ice1517  
Same

@Applejack007  
You are not one of them, if it helps.

@ice1517  
Im glad lol. But some people really get under my skin.

@Applejack007  
Same feeling.

@ice1517  
And I get annoyed pretty damn easily. Just another flaw I guess. It gets so bad I end up thinking vile things.

@Applejack007  
I guess I do too.

seriously considering cutting as some form of stress relief.

@Applejack007  
Can you find some cardboard or Styrofoam?

@Goobington  
What will I do with them?

@Applejack007  
Cut them instead. A lot more resistance, more surface area. All the catharsis of cutting something, none of the self-harm.

@Goobington  
Oh I see

Sometimes I wonder if the site see’s me as a burden or anything.

@ice1517  
I don’t think you’re a burden or a bad person.

@ice1517  
Well, I don’t see you as a bad person. In fact I kinda like you.
 
People that I don’t like is usually the person that like to based their argument solely on emotion, hypocrite, and have an aggressive attitude. Though luckily only about 20 or less people and compare to hundreds people that I ever meet in derpibooru.

@LeoNero
 
@CyanLightning  
I feel like I cause more harm then good here.
 
That I end up getting people angry and annoyed at me. And getitng the feeling that peple don’t care about me.

@ice1517  
Well, you can certainly say that if we are taking part of our time to answer to you, is because we care. I see you for example from time to time in the OC Thread and I like to read your posts and the new OCs that you have; maybe I don’t answer too much but I pay attention to what happens there.
 
It’s very unlikely that you cause more harm than good; a person who doesn’t realizes about its actions, probably wouldn’t even ask to oneself if it’s being nice or not. If you feel that you annoyed someone, you can always asks politely, that will show that you want to listen to the other and see what you did in order to improve yourself as well.
 
Don’t worry, there are so many people on this site as well, that most of us don’t know each other very well, and sometimes we can end forgetting if someone did something or not; just I’m going to say that, at least, you are not alone.
 
*hugs*
 

@TheAnonShy  
You like my ocs?
 
I guess that makes sense. But I still feel like whenever I do something even slightly wrong, I end up pissing someone off or getting someone mad. Like if I end up doing something and a mod gets involved, i don’t know if they are angry at me or not, and that just ends up making me worried, since i don’t want to do anything to piss them off (it’s hard to tell the tone of someone on the internet, so that doesn’t help.)
 
And i feel like i won’t end up being remembered on this site or anything no matter how many pics i upload or pics i make or whatever. It’s like when i come up with this new, big idea i had and post it and wait to see if anyone likes it, it gets ignored most of the time or something else, and it makes me think that my idea wasn’t that good.  
Or with art, since most of the non-fetish pics i colour seem to end up getting a lot more downvotes then the stuff i colour in.  
In fact, the majority of the non-fetish stuff i colour(stuff i make in kisekae) gets a lot more downvotes then pvotes, and it bums me out seeing it. ^{||And i keep getting a bad feeling that mabe my humanisatiosn wouldn’t get as much downvotes if i made them all white instead of trying to kae thier skin clutd match my headcanon…||}
 
im sorry if i am whining or anyhting. Just keep feeling pretty bummed out for the past few months or so.

@ice1517
 
Well, yes, if I’m also able to remember them, I like them.
 
I can’t blame you to feel like that, text based communication has a lot of limitations, principally, not being able to deduce the intention in which someone else wanted to say something; I passed a lot of times through that issue, and indeed, it can make you have a bad time. The thing is, probably moderators don’t happen to be reminding each of the users unless that it was something quite “memorable” (whether it is in the positive or bad way). If you happened to say something slightly bad at accident, by the next day it’s not going to be remembered, everyone is too busy doing something else like watching videos, drawing, talking with friends, upvoting art, etc., than to remember each thing that you did, but you feel it stronger, because you are the one conscious and looking out of your actions.
 
It’s normal the feeling of desiring to leave a mark somewhere, but hey, at least I remember you, and probably some many more does as well; if we compare you with a user that mostly only comment or fave content, I can tell you that you’d be much more remembered as well due of what you do, or because of your high activity in this place. Regarding of your art, the sad reality is that usually dark skin humanizations don’t receive a lot of ‘love’; it’s nothing against you, it just seems a general thing. Just do what you like and enjoy to make, probably some other persons at the first image that they see with upvotes that they made, they would stop making it, and I’m an example of that, I once deleted my name of a pun joke picture that I drew because of the shame that I felt (yes, I did that); while you still have enough strenght to still upload.
 
And don’t worry! It’s normal to feel these kind of things, after all, the desire to be accepted is common among most of persons.

I saw this again in my notifications, and I was thinking.
 
I realize the gravity and reality of pain, and the chaos and dissociation of cognitive dissonance.
 
I’m not a shitty liar, or faint of heart; I’m not going to tell you I know there is some ‘God’ or ‘right way to live life,’ knowing these things doesn’t seem to be a part of mortal cognition, or sentient life.
 
Point is I do know one thing from deductive reasoning; If you kill yourself now, I know for certain it is the end of atleast one life. However until you are dead each and every faculty of your organic form can drastically change your future forever.
 
You may feel like a failure, and your future might continue to suck from now till who knows when, but the ancient Sanskrit to the scientific method has taught me one thing; the parts of the experiment that ultimately ‘fail’ are just as valid and important as the components that eventually ‘succeed.’
 
If you can do anything, live life to see what happens. If you’re truly unafraid to die, then you have nothing to lose, and everything to gain.
 
I believe in anyone who can see the human condition for what it is, and press start. If some god was sitting here fixing all our shit I don’t think we would have anything worth living for or learning.
 
I think between the duality of life and inorganic matter there is something beautiful. I think the energy that hums between the rocks and the stars is the same energy traveling up our spines. I think your doubts and inhibitions are an unrefined fuel source the right inspirations can convert into something truly amazing.

@TheAnonShy  
Well, i am glad that you like the ones you are able to remember. Nice to know that people like them.
 
Well that is the thing. I don’t know if the mods is is angry or annoyed at me or not for doing something whenever they talk to me. It makes me worked up because i feel like i fucked up and done something bad.
 
And i guess so. But it’s just that, compare me to one of the other big name users here like you, or Badumsquish. If either of you two were gone or left the site, you would have a lot of people missing you and bein sad to see you go, but i feel like if that happened to me, i would just be a blip on the radar to a lot of people (I’m sorry if it sounded like i was trying to insult you or him. I like both of you, i was just using the two of you as an example, since both of you are much more famous/well-known here and would have a bigger impact).
 
And about my art, i do like making it since it allows me to get out how i would see the character if they were humans, but i keep feeling that i shouldn’t upload it, since those types of images get a lot of hate and normally have a lot of arguing in the comments of them complaining about the races. And it sucks, because i keep getting the feeling that if i just mad ehtem white, they wouldn’t get as much downvotes. Still, i won’t take them down.
 
And i guess it is. I guess i am just insecure, since i want to be seen as someone peoplewould like.