[Dark] Depression/Suicides within the fandom (The revival)

@warc9  
I can’t drink pure water
 
It’s torture
 
I have to make a mixture of at least 1/10 juice 9/10 water
 

 
That low cal lemonade is actually pretty hydrating.. you can have 2 pints of it and it would STILL be significantly less sugar than a can of soda

Damn… that concerta really does start working in 25-30 minutes
 
It’s supposed to take close to an hour.. I guess that’s for like 80-90% of it to be in your system

@Rainboom Dash  
 

@Tranquil Night  
FUCK
 
I forgot to drink my water again and I even flavored it with juice
 
FFS…
 
This is hard :/

@Rainboom Dash  
Why?

This fandom depresses me. I feel so much better when I’m away from it yet what must one do when they live a socially-neglected lifestyle and the only means of interaction is online? I run into so many complete asses, the young, disrespectful and invincible types. It gets me down to know I have to be around people who basically take their daily time to cause harm to others. Hardly anyone nice. The only conversation being a finger-pointing argument over bullshit.
 
Sucks when you love the show but have a high resentment towards the people in it for being an emotionally abusive bunch. Raging politics and nearly constant bickering. That shit would depress anyone and knowing you can’t find a decent soul to have an adult conversation is tragic.
 
Fuck my life. Yes.

@Rainboom Dash
 
Again, I highly recommend checking out the glass bottled Mountain Valley water at least once. I drink it daily, we get it in the 5 gallon jugs.
 

Please excuse my parenthesis.
 
If I analyze what my psychiatrist does, some of it does not really make sense. About one-and-a-half months ago, she increased my Effexor XR (antidepressant) from 150 (moderate dose) to 300 milligrams (higher-than-the-FDA-recommended dose), and she tried to slowly lower my Abilify (antipsychotic) from 12.5 (above-moderate dose) to 5 milligrams (low dose). I had suicidal thoughts while on my way to a low dose, so she put me on 10 milligrams of it. Then, she lowers my Effexor XR from 300 to 150 milligrams.
 
Why did she even bother increasing my Effexor XR in the first place?
 
She said that it was to “make the reduction of Abilify easier”, but it obviously failed because I had my self-harm OCD come back. I do not feel like she knew what she was doing when she doubled my Effexor XR.
 
Maybe her secondary intent was to cure my depression. However, this is nonsensical because I only complained of a lack of motivation at the time, not sadness. Effexor cures my sadness, not a lack of my motivation. Increasing it does not really make sense.
 
I hope that I am not confusing you [collectively].

@Tranquil Night
 
She may have had another idea in it to benefit you and it didn’t work. This is just coming from a guy who knows almost nothing about anti-depressants though.

@Rainboom Dash
 
One suggestion: put some apple cider vinegar or lemon juice in the water instead of juice.* You figure out how much, but don’t overdo it; otherwise it can be like fire coming out the other end. A tablespoon might be enough for 24 oz. of water, give or take.
 
*Edit: I realize lemon juice is juice, initially I meant something that isn’t sweet.

@BarryFromMars  
Lemon juice might work
 
I used to drink straight lemon juice :P

@Rainboom Dash  
You are making me wonder what bisexual lemon juice tastes like.

@Tranquil Night  
what??????
 
Uh, okay…….

@Rainboom Dash  
It was a joke, straight lemon juice, bi lemon juice and gay lemon juice

@warc9  
Oh, wow…that joke went right over my head lolz

@warc9
 
I was confused too at first but now I find it funny.

I don’t feel very good…
 
I’m shaking a little and I feel nauseous and really tense, especially in my neck.. I also feel dizzy and have a headache
 
I thought maybe it was just cause I drank last night but… at this point it shouldn’t be this bad
 
I also thought earlier the dizziness was because I was dehydrated… but… I don’t think so
 
 
Maybe I’m low on vitamins or something… I haven’t really been getting any vitamins in my diet here and I haven’t taken a vitamin in over a week… hmm… maybe two weeks at this point… and before that I was only taking it about once a week for a few weeks
 
 
Idk
 
 
I’m kind of tired too… more just what do you call it when you don’t feel like doing stuff…

I don’t think it would happen this quickly, though
 
I felt mostly fine yesterday.. I don’t think within one day it would get drastically worse
 
Hmm…

@Rainboom Dash  
Eat something, get some vitamins in.

@warc9  
lolz… I’m so fucking horrible at this kind of stuff… and water…
 
I was dehydrated almost all day today… I just… idk
 
Fuck.. that reminds me.. I only drank like half a pint of water and that was when I was dehydrated and that was about an hour ago…
 
….

@Rainboom Dash  
You really need to drink more water.

@warc9  
I still have only drank about 4/5 of that pint and I started drinking that like… 4 hours ago almost
 
I feel really thirty again… guess I’ll drink some more… I just gotta chug some down and I should be good for a while.. but then I have to go to the bathroom a lot :/

You ever had those days when you feel like you deserve all the negative things that happened to you? It’s starting to feel like those days

Sometimes I pretend I’m drowning because I deserve to drown.

@Rainboom Dash  
You should drink more.
 
 
@Conflik9929  
But you don’t deserve anything bad to happen to you
 
 
@Holofan4life  
You don’t deserve to drown.