[Dark] Depression/Suicides within the fandom (The revival)

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GERgta
Thread Starter - [Dark] Depression/Suicides within the fandom (The revival)
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Heya. I hope TSP doesn’t mind if I revive this. Sorry about what happened.

This thread is for all the sad ponies out there who want to communicate with other sad ponies. You don’t have to be depressed yourself to discuss stuff here, of course. So, have fun! Please be delicate to eachother ;)

Always remember that you aren’t alone!

Thread rules:
#1: No pictures of dead deers. Thank you.
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Background Pony #AA1B
I’m gonna start out anonymously.
I have depression. I’m tired and exhausted all the time. Yet, I have to spend my weekends cleaning the house and taking care of my pets, whilst my mother goes to her boyfriend’s house and refuses to talk to me on Facebook, yet she puts statuses up saying how much fun she is having, replying to other people’s comments, etc..
But I have to stay in. I have no friends that I can spend the weekend with.
But after all these chores, i’m not even thanked for exhausting myself. For feeding my dogs, or washing the dishes. No. I’m just scolded for the things I DIDN’T do.
I’m fed up. And i’m sorry for rambling. I just think that getting no appreciation for the things that I do is harming my mental health and making my depression worse.
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GERgta
Thread Starter - [Dark] Depression/Suicides within the fandom (The revival)
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@Background Pony #8486
Man that sucks. Yeah, I know the feel of not being appreciated. Not in the same way as you, but yeah. Have you ever tried to sit down with your mom and have a talk with her? If that doesn’t help, you gotta be somewhat more assertive. Don’t let her treat you like that, even if she is your mother.
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Background Pony #AA1B
@GERgta
Any attempts to do so have been met with "I work hard, and I should be allowed to have fun"
She doesn’t work hard. She’s unemployed.
Plus, i’m below the age of consent so my mother has every right to Veto everything I say.
I know she’ll yell at me once she gets home.
I’m tired, though.
See, I tried to talk to her on Facebook:
I gotta wash up EVERYTHING..
and I have to exhaust myself. Then I cant eat because I dont wanna wash up again..
And I bet youre not answering because you know i’m right and youre afraid that i"m showing you up but I never have friends that I can go to to spend time with!
And I dont wanna go there because I dont think i’d make anything any better, i’d just be sitting there doing nothing. I know youre gonna yell at me when you come back but please go easy on me cos i’m tired..
~my most recent FB message to her.

Bwaaaaahhh..
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GERgta
Thread Starter - [Dark] Depression/Suicides within the fandom (The revival)
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An Artist Who Rocks - 100+ images under their artist tag

@Background Pony #8486
Ah, what about your dad/other relatives? You could always go to the CPS if nothing helps. My sister went there once to request to move to her dad’s place, which worked out in the end (I never got why she did that, tho). I mean, it’s lots of trouble. But in the end it could be worth it.
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Background Pony #AA1B
@GERgta
My dad? Other relatives?
Aka, the reason why i’ve never known true family.
I’m sorry for putting a dampener on everything..
I cant even cry anymore without my mother threatening to call the ambulance because of ’hysteria’. And depression is pretty much crying, being tired and stuff.
I do appreciate your advice, its just that no relative of mine would even stand looking at me.
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GERgta
Thread Starter - [Dark] Depression/Suicides within the fandom (The revival)
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An Artist Who Rocks - 100+ images under their artist tag

@Background Pony #8486
Ah, don’t say that. You surely have one relative who would support you.

Mmmh… What about her boyfriend? Does he know about this? I know this seems kinda strange, but if you know his name (and if he isn’t an asshole) you could try to contact him on facebook or something. She might just listen to him. Or maybe you get scolded for interfering, but hey, it’s worth a try!

If you would like to have a more progressive chat, you can send me your steam/skype profile via derpibooru IM, I’ll be sure to add you!
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Background Pony #AA1B
@GERgta
Not one relative.
Mother’s fault for being a rebel.
Now my mother hates me because I forgot to feed the dogs.
I genuinely did forget.. I dont want them to starve but I forgot!
Now i’m a disgrace because I cant even look after dogs.. she rates the dogs over me, every time.
Theyre her precious babies and I’m just the kid she bore.
And i’ll send you my Skype username.
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And Brother I Hurt People
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I honestly don’t know what’s wrong with me. The spacing in between my periods of self pity, anxiousness and just plain feeling bad tend to be so far apart that I often question whether or not I am actually sad and not some attention seeking kid. My parents will say something to me that I don’t like, and it’ll be something simple – "You forgot to feed the dog". But it’s the way they say it, with disappointment, that gets me berating myself. Soon, "You forgot to feed the dog" turns into "You’re an inconsiderate asshole who’s probably going to fail out of school", and I start crying, and everyone thinks I’m a kid for crying at forgetting the dog’s dinner. My thoughts move so fast that I can’t decipher them and to the point where I can’t tell if I actually have thoughts and my mind isn’t just empty. And I can’t tell my parents any of this because I’m pretty shit with words and it’ll come out underwhelming. Well, that and because of something my mom says in reference to the rest of our family – "Aren’t we lucky?" My family has a huge history of medical and mental issues, and she thinks that I’ve escaped them. I’m not so sure about that, but I can’t exactly find out, either.

I hope TSP doesn’t lock this. A lot of us can benefit from this.
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Gentlecolt
The End wasn't The End - Found a new home after the great exodus of 2012

physical exercise. If you haven’t been doing it lately, try it. It just might work miracles
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Background Pony #873C
@Gentlecolt
>having the inner strength to do more than one push-up before letting go and doing a faceplant on the floor
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Gentlecolt
The End wasn't The End - Found a new home after the great exodus of 2012

@Background Pony #4613

do it faget


ya’ll don’t want to be miserable every day; remember this when you’ve had enough.
Just get that heart beating properly, doesn’t have to be push-ups

of course it doesn’t necessarily work for everyone
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Gecko
Not a Llama - Happy April Fools Day!

Right, so…let’s continue this.
Clinical depressions for a decade, Dysthymia, Aspergers, Borderline, a few physical illnesses. I have lost interest in everything, no motivation whatsoever, am just dragging myself to wherever my parents want me to, and pretend to smile. No person on this planet even likes me, and I managed to make the only one who thought otherwise do a 180 at me, and now he hates me, so I’m also heartbroken in more than one way.

Give me a single reason to live, I dare you guys.


@Gentlecolt
Going upstairs gets my heart racing like mad already. And I’m not even fat or anything.
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Background Pony #5D2F
@Gecko You had, AND STILL DO, the courage to admit what you face. That might not sound like much, but it beats the stale, void air that permeates death. And we respect you for that.

If you don’t really care, not much we can do. If you’re willing to talk, I’ll at least try to listen.
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Gentlecolt
The End wasn't The End - Found a new home after the great exodus of 2012

@Gecko
I don’t have any reason to live either. Who cares. I’m way too much of a pussy to kill myself; i’d rather do what it takes to have a bearable ride.

Try getting in a better physical shape and maybe your problems don’t seem that bad after all. Maybe it doesn’t help you at all. You won’t know unless you try.



I like you, though!

@And Brother I Hurt People
A sad person jumping on a trampoline.
Sounds.. weirdly amusing
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@Gecko

Hey, I might know jack shit about you, but I can still respect a guy who can even manage to drag themselves, or step up to their problems like the way you’re doing.
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Gecko
Not a Llama - Happy April Fools Day!

Felt like complete shit lately, that’s why it took me so long to reply. Sorry about that.
Oh yeah and my parents threatened to throw me out of the house, so I may be unable to reply anymore in a few months or so.

@Background Pony #C506
@And Brother I Hurt People
Apparently whining is the only thing I’m still good at…
@Background Pony #C506 Don’t really know much else to talk about tbh.

@Gentlecolt
When I said "no reason" I actually meant none, you know? Don’t know you obviously, but I’m fairly certain you can at least still find genuine joy in some things, or have a sincere chuckle from time to time. The problem with suicide for me is that I want to die in a graceful way, and graceful methods cost money. Which I don’t have.

And well… I tried getting my ass up, I really did. But I just can’t do it. I need something, anything I can look forward to in order to do it, but if anything all I have are a few fond memories of things long past.

There is nothing to like about me, really, so I don’t quite get why you would say that.
But i-if you feel like talking…
I’m also on a few other sites and services, just let me know what suits you best in case you wanna talk. Just… don’t expect much out of me.
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Gentlecolt
The End wasn't The End - Found a new home after the great exodus of 2012

@Gecko
I do find plenty of joy in things indeed. Reason to live? More like distractions from all things depressing.

Sorry, but i’m not really the chatty type. And I tend to upset people who get close to me. Derpibooru is currently the only place where I feel like talking at all. Definitely nothing personal
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Gentlecolt
The End wasn't The End - Found a new home after the great exodus of 2012

@Gecko
k sounds unconvinced. Friendships are everything but magical to me nowadays. Just.. trust me. I’ve tried
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Gecko
Not a Llama - Happy April Fools Day!

@Gentlecolt
Wouldn’t have tried to befriend you.
Just some talking, playing games, or… I dunno.
Nevermind.
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