Corrupt A Wish (Forum Game)

The card blows away and falls into a pond
 
I wish for some BK

You get some Bizerk Killers.
 
I wish for something to help me.

Granted, a first aid kit flies through the window and hits you in the head.
 
I wish I could cuddle the OC in my pfp.

It’s the image in your avatar that you start cuddling
 
I wish for fries

They’re frozen and expired
 
I wish for new plates

You are stuck in an infinite loop of spinning them
 
I wish to have meaning in life

Granted. Your life means suffering and pain endlessly.
 
I wish I could choose the meaning of my life.

@Twi_Clown  
Nobody wants to be around a human with a Cutie Mark.
 
I want to be a unicorn in his world.

Granted. You are a Shetland pony with a cardboard horn, now augmented with an ice-cream cone and a party hat.
 
I wish you, that Shetland pony, would be smart enough to use a computer.

@HorsesandMuchMOAR  
That’s already the case. Why do you think I’m so socially awkward?
 
I wish that my ice cream cone had magic in it.

Granted. It becomes into a humanoid hand that tries to pull itself out of your forehead.
 
I wish G5 would involve a mixture of Shetland ponies and things being thrown around to loud laughter.
 

@HorsesandMuchMOAR  
It throws adult themes into it, and this site abolishes the ‘safe’ rating, and all images that previously had it are now tagged both ‘suggestive’ and ‘semi-grimdark’.
 
I wish that there was a badge for being a regular forum user.

The description for it says “for losers with no life or friends” I want that badge LOL
 
I wish I could uninvent cigarettes

@QueenChrysalisIsBestVillain  
They are replaced with, instead, with thief, corruption, and rape.
 
I wish that I could ban people and the mods could not see it.

One of those banned users complains to the mods in the Discord server, revokes your privileges and permabans you from the site
 
I wish for a taste of honey

You steal honey from an Africanized killer bee hive. You escape with your life barely
 
I wish my cat could open the door by herself

@QueenChrysalisIsBestVillain  
She’s too stupid to realize when it’s opened.
 
I wish that our cats would not dig their claws into us all of the time.

They sink their teeth
 
I wish sharks had smooth skin

Granted, its so smooth that everybody wants it and sharks are hunted to extinction.
 
I wish that Lars didn’t interfere with the production on And Justice For All.

He messed with the Black Album and Ride the Lightning instead
 
I wish it was all about that bass bout that bass

Granted. You just get some cooked bass fish.
 
I wish for a voucher for a good dinner at Manhattan Fish Market.

It’s an expired coupon
 
I wish for a Friends reunion

Granted, all of them have changed beyond recognition and they don’t get along at all.
 
I wish Lars didn’t interfere with the production on ANY studio album.

He interferes with the royalty payments
 
I wish for a pacifist run in bloodborne

Granted. It is also a sponsored crossover with My Little Pony, causing thousands of angry fans to quit the game.
 
I wish Transformers was as contagious as its rival MLP, even replacing its popularity!