Corrupt A Wish (Forum Game)

Granted. They turn on you, landing you into the bar with Capper and the drunk Sleipnirs.
 
I wish that bar’s located on El Noa Noa Island.

@HorsesandMuchMOAR  
Wish granted. But the ghost of Mexican singer Juan Gabriel falls in love with you.
 
I wish to steal Zaknel’s waifu.

@Edhelistar  
Granted. Zaknel chases after you to get his Waifu back.
 
I wish Lyra would fall in love with me

Granted. Lyra turns you into a giant walking hand, and you sink El Noa Noa Island while trying to dig into the Mariana Trench.
 
I wish Capper acted like the Tourettes Guy.

He’s in charge of the turrets but can’t make them work
 
I wish to have my mind sent to other plane of existence

Your mind is sent to hell. Litterally.
 
I wish to have phenomenal cosmic powers.

You have itty bitty living space.
 
I wish for good sized living space.

you get absulutely destroyed by my phenominal cosmic powers.
 
I wish we discovered time travel.

The timeline gets split and you remain where it never happened
 
I wish RNJesus wasn’t such a petty bitch

@Shepherd  
Wish granted. But it is empty and you can’t leave it.
 
I wish for vegan meat.

Vegan animals get slaughtered for it
 
I wish gun control was more lenient

Granted but bullets are illegal.
 
I wish for a cool camera.

@Shepherd  
Wish granted. You get a camera that has been in the fridge for five minutes.
 
I wish for a comet to smash on Pluto.

An fbi agent uses it to spy on you
 
I wish i have eternal youth or don’t decay to a complete cripple and have immortality.

Granted. You turn into an Abyssinian cat who swears a lot.
 
I wish Capper and Gilda had their own spin-off shows.

Granted, the pilot episode is rejected by executives and all we’re left with is the single episode to a promising series.
 
I wish I didn’t have to wake up so early to arrive at my classes on time.

You sleep late and fail the semester
 
I wish to have fully functional wings

@QuasarNova  
Granted. You fly into the sun and burst into flames.
 
I wish I could time-travel

@QuasarNova  
Wish granted. But they’re so small, that only can be used to regulate your internal temperature.
 
I wish for Pluto to crash on Jupiter.

Granted, nothing happens because Pluto is so insignificantly small compared to that gas giant.
 
I wish my neck wasn’t hurting so much.

Granted. Your feet become sore.
 
I wish Celaeno became into a real parrot.
 

@HorsesandMuchMOAR  
Granted. She’s annoying.
 
I wish I could Time travel.

Granted. You instead end up aboard an Eldar Craftworld.
 
I wish Farseer Taldeer rides on Celestia.

Granted, Celestia doesn’t really enjoy it and she leaves after about 5 minutes.
 
I wish this thread would be revived.

@Moonatik  
It gets revived as a frequent back-and-forth between the two of us.
 
I wish I could transform between being a Tianoboa and a human at will.