Corrupt A Wish (Forum Game)

@Shepherd  
Everything interesting is banned for a day
 
I wish to know the name of any song I don’t know,  
Especially ones without words

You are now sound hound.
 
I wish for popcorn.

Granted, but pee is used as the butter.
 
I wish for the Hulk would get a new movie of his own with Mark Ruffalo.

It’s awful
 
I wish for more food during lunch at school

It is Soylent Green
 
I wish for a pirate ship.

Granted, but you’re surrounded by the U.S. Coast Guard soon after acquiring it due to suspicion of carrying illegal ordinance and stowaways.
 
I wish I could rise above any emotions I may have and become more efficient.

you are a Vulcan.
 
I wish for chocolate.

You get chocolate laxatives.
 
I wish Starlight Glimmer was never reformed.

Friendship is destroyed as Strawser’s stance asst forgiveness poises the land
 
I? with to throw a pie at Starswerl.

You get thrown into limbo
 
I wish for a jean jacket with jean pants

They have holes everywhere
 
I wish to be carried off by horny females

You get carried off by horned lady demons
 
 
I wish to make people happy.

People get jealous of you
 
I wish my dad would stop being an idiot

He’s not an evil genius
 
I wish to make my foes scream

They scream in laughter
 
I wish everyone gets to taste my dad’s amazing pumpkin pie!

@Shimmering Blaze  
They did, but he forgot to wash his hands after handling the turkey and now everyone has salmonella.
 
I wish I could get a good nights sleep.

Don’t we all
 
You wake up in an abandoned hospital.
 
I wish a big fat dragon would land on The White House.

@Shepherd  
Hey look, a big fat dragon landed on the White House. Then you suddenly woke up prematurely from that dream fantasy because you still can’t get a good nights sleep.
 
I wish Star Vs The Forces of Evil would stop having romance drama. In fact, can we just get rid of prolonged love triangle BS from all shows for the rest of time?

Again don’t we all.
 
Granted Marco, Star, Jake, Jenna, and Kelly are now polyamorous and Tom is married to Ponyhead
 
I wish for a talisman.

You are granted a Talisman of great power. Unfortunately it only functions if you abstain from having orgasms for the rest of your life.
 
I wish I could draw for shit.

People give you dookie as payment
 
I wish I could have extra.

Granted, you get extra…fat.
 
I wish I can divide by zero.

@Briianz  
You gain the ability to divide by zero freely. Now all of your applications constantly spit out ‘divide by zero’ exceptions and crash.
 
I wish I had telekinesis.

you hit yourself in the head with a brick 38 times.
 
I wish to see the secrets.

You see the secrets, but you have no control over who, where, or when.  
ALL the secrets. You go mad.
 
I wish Black Friday would actually occur ON FRIDAY and not in the middle of thanksgiving dinner.