An actually serious question pertaining to sexuality

cb5
Thread Starter - The time wasting thread

To make this short, I want to ask here cause it’s been a pain trying to get advice elsewhere.
 
To make it extremely short I am currently living with my family and about to start off in the working world. That’s not the problem though; the problem is that even though my mom knows she keeps telling me to put off transitioning even though my career field pays well enough she keeps pushing for me to reproduce and get her even more grandkids, even though she already has seven, and trying to talk me into starting to transition never.
 
I don’t know what is going on her head, but my guess is she’s thinking “the longer I can keep my son from doing this the higher the chances it will go away”. Like I don’t even want to talk about it any more with her cause her highest priority is trying to put it off. Even though for the last seven years I have told her succinctly I am not going to have kids she still believes I am as though it’s a universal law of physics that everyone must reproduce. What’s worse is she keeps pushing me to be like ridiculously masculine like I HAVE to go out and bench press a train or something.
 
The other thing she brings up is my brother. The house we are living in is technically on his property and we eat dinner over there as such. My brother is republican, but I think he’s more libertarian. Anybody that is libertarian have any advice to talk to him.
 
Another problem is I really want to start dating, but if I start dating a guy how do I talk to her about it?
 
I know it’s silly to ask on the internet, but it’s to the point I can’t even talk to her about it any more without the immediate response on the lines of “well why don’t you wait 2523523151435134543256 years before you start?”
ZORDON
The End wasn't The End - Found a new home after the great exodus of 2012

That’s, usually, because she doesn’t want you to go. You are the youngest, aren’t you? Mothers usually don’t want their sons and daughters to leave them, because, on an instinctual level, they think they won’t see them again.
 
Also, the “reproduction urge” is common, too, although I don’t fully understand it. And the “act like a MAN” might just be old-fashioned values.
 
I don’t know about your brother. I assume you say “republican” as in “american republican”, because republicans in other countries are totally different. Here in Spain, for example, republicans are left wing. And I don’t know what a libertarian is, and I don’t want to search it.
 
I hope I was helpful.
cb5
Thread Starter - The time wasting thread

That’s, usually, because she doesn’t want you to go. You are the youngest, aren’t you? Mothers usually don’t want their sons and daughters to leave them, because, on an instinctual level, they think they won’t see them again.
Also, the “reproduction urge” is common, too, although I don’t fully understand it. And the “act like a MAN” might just be old-fashioned values.
I don’t know about your brother. I assume you say “republican” as in “american republican”, because republicans in other countries are totally different. Here in Spain, for example, republicans are left wing. And I don’t know what a libertarian is, and I don’t want to search it.
I hope I was helpful.
 
That was actually helpful.
Vlakc
The End wasn't The End - Found a new home after the great exodus of 2012

the “act like a MAN” might just be old-fashioned values.
 
Here’s when my far-right views come out and say, those are not “old-fashioned values”, a man should always act like a man regardless of era, but as much as I want to, I’m not here to criticize cb5’s life choices.
 
With that said.
 
 
@cb5  
Though I’m the only child of my parents, I have a similar mother to yours in the way that she wants me to have kids and she’s also very attached to me (normal).
 
My advice are these.
 
Regarding her wanting you to have kids, you need to explain to her (calmly and respectfully) that if you have kids for the sake of having kids you’ll end up being a very bad parent, that one should only have kids because one wants to raise a person, bust your ass working happily to give them a future and make them productive members of society one day, and not just have kids to then ignore them and let them become brats etc etc, you need to explain her all these things every time she brings up this conversation, cite examples of people you know to prove your point, and maybe little by little you’ll convince her.
 
Regarding her thoughts on your transitioning, well first, if you’re paying for all the expenses of your transitioning and it’s what you really want, then you have to muster the courage to tell her clearly (calmly and respectfully) over an over again that you understand that the whole transitioning thing is weird as hell to her, but unfortunately since you’re an independent (or soon to be independent) adult, you’re not committing a crime or anything like that, and that you’re gonna do it anyway, of course the whole speech alone does not convince anyone, you need to demonstrate always and at every moment that despite your transitioning you can be a very responsible and productive member of society and that you can be a good professional too, cite examples of other successful and respectable transgenders to help prove your point (I know none so ¯(°_o)/¯ )
 
Regarding your brother, I didn’t quite understood what you said, but if you want advice from him, it should not matter his political/moral views since he’s your brother, he might sure as hell disagree with you and criticize you (normal), but he should be able to look pass your differences and give you at least a little advice. (I mean for God’s sake I have far-right views and I’m trying to look past my disagreements with transitioning to actually help you >_> )
 
And about dating, same thing as with transitioning, muster the courage to to tell her that you understand the whole thing is weird as fuck for her, but it’s what you want, and assure her, convince her that by dating you mean a stable relationship and all that shit, that you’re not going to be a sexual deviant sleeping with every single guy and….well…you get the point, that despite your sexuality you can have a healthy and normal romantic/sexual life like most people, of course, you NEED to demonstrate it, actions speak louder than words after all.
 
ZORDON’s advice was good, and I hope mine helps you as well, remember “life is not easy” ;)
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