“I’m looking for a Mr. Esass. First name: Horst”
“Hold on, I’ll check. Horst Esass! HORST ESASS! Has anyone here seen a horse’s ass?!”

Moe: “Pony Moe’s bar.”  
Rainbow Dash: “Hello, this is, um, Wendy Fooler. I need to speak to my father, Phil E.!”  
Moe: “Hold on a second… Listen, everyone, I’m looking for a Phil E. Fooler! Is one of you a filly-fooler?”  
Berry Punch: “That’s none of your buckin’ business, Moe!”  
Moe: “None of my… Wait! Is that YOU again? You know what? I’d really like to renovate the furniture in my bar. AND GUESS WHERE I’LL GET THE GLUE ONCE I’VE CAUGHT YOU!”

@Pulse Wave  
Doesnt quite come close to Seymour Butts or Amanda Hugn’kiss

Moe: “Friendship Pub, official, Moe speaking.”  
Rainbow Dash: “Yeah, this is, um, Jacqueline d’Horse. Is my mother there? Just call her Ma!”  
Moe: “A moment, please. … Ma? Ma d’Horse? Is here a Ma d’Horse? Hey, one of you has to be a mudhorse!”  
Berry Punch: “Listen, Moe. I’m here to get drunk and not to get insulted!”  
Moe: “Wha… Okay, listen, whoever you are! I’ve got a new pair of riding boots, and I wanna try them out with you! They’ve got BOWIE KNIVES FOR SPURS!”  
Rainbow Dash: (ROFL)

Moe: Kludgetown Tavern. Moe Speaking  
Cozy Glow: Uhh yeah. I’m looking for my father. A Mr Cart. First name: Orson.  
Moe: Hold on, I’ll check. (To the customers) Phone Call for a Mr Cart. Orson Cart? Hey, is there an Horse and Cart Here?  
Vera: Not in this town, stupid(Everyone starts laughing)  
Moe: Wait a minute. (towards the phone) You think that’s funny, huh? When I get my hands on you, I’m dragging you out to the Woodshed and spank your bottom with A BROKEN BEER BOTTLE!  
Cozy Glow:(Laughs like crazy)

I’m looking for a Mr. Phar-ted, first initial I.

This is great. I particularly love how Berry is having trouble with her glass

Moe: “Flim Flam Brothers Beverage Emporium, Moe speaking.”  
Pulse Wave: “Hello, can I speak to Mr Jasplotte? Forename is Hugh?”  
Moe: “Sure.” (shouts) “Hey everyone, is here a Hugh Jasplotte? I’m looking for a huge-ass plot!”  
Berry Punch: “C’mon Barney, I don’t think this zoophile pervert is the right company for us any longer!”  
Barney: “(BURRRRRP) You’re right!”  
(Barney and Berry leave, everyone else laughs)  
Moe: “Wait, you still owe me $168 for tonight … wait … HEY YOU JACKASS! You’ve just chased my two best customers away! I hope you’re proud of it! And just to let you know: I’m going to get me a Toledo from eBay, and then I’m going to find you and see whether that thing works on ponies! And when I happen to find out that it does, I’m going to make lasagna out of you and sell it in Germany!”  
Pulse Wave: “Why, do you want to go broke with yet another business?”

I like how this was only done in the first couple seasons, and then years later, they started to simply parody the gag.

@Beau Skunky  
Thank you!

@Pacific Glow  
It’s kinda hard not too, it’s very in-character for Ghost. He rages quite easily.
 
Also, nice bits. Hehe.

Moe: Moe’s Tavern, now owned by Carousel Botique.  
Pacific Glow: I want to talk to my old Grade 12 Honors ELA teacher Mr. Van Dull  
Moe: Mr. Van Dull?  
Pacific Glow: Yeah. It’s an old Anglo Saxon name. First name Mad.  
Moe: Let’s see. Attention please! Mad Van Dull! Mad Van Dull! I really want a mad vandal!  
Barney: You want a mad vandal badly, you get two mad vandals!  
Barney and Berry Punch pull two baseball bats out of Surprise’s hair. They destroy Moe’s bar valuables. Barney smashes the stained glass windows, the neon sign, the jukebox, and the clipboard. Berry Punch smashes the shotgun, the china cabinet, the TV, and the cash register.  
Moe: HEY! QUIT SMASHING THE VALUABLES THAT I SPENT MY HARD-EARNED MONEY ON! YOU’LL BE KICKED OUT IF YOU KEEP IT UP! And you, you plothole with serious behavioral problems! If I ever run into you, I will throw you into a manhole and shit in that same manhole!  
Pacific Glow: Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha soi soi soi soi rofl rofl rofl rofl!

Moe: Uncle Moe’s Family Feedbag, how may I, Uncle Moe, help you?  
Pacific Glow: May I have Mr. Beez, first name K’Rotch, middle name Boo?  
Moe: Hold on, I’ll get him. K’Rotch Boo Beez! K’Rotch Boo Beez! C’mon, there must be crotchboobies somewhere around here!  
all the patrons laugh, except the Flanderses  
Barney: Joining the anatomically correct police, eh Moe?  
Ned Flanders: You call THIS a family restaurant? I, for one, am not amused by your ill manners! Come on boys, we’ll go to another restaurant and far away from this pervert!  
Moe: It’s you! I swear that one day, I’ll suffocate you in tinfoil, roast your dead body in the oven, and serve it as a limited time dish at Uncle Moe’s Family Feedbag!  
Dinky: Oh, Celestia. This guy’s insane as hay. Can we leave?  
Moe: Come on people, let’s all ignore my outburst and continue eating.  
all the patrons leave, except the regular ones: Lenny, Carl, Homer, Barney, Berry Punch  
Berry Punch: Hey Moe, you still have us, your regular barflies!  
Moe: YOU RUINED MY GOD DAMN BUSINESS! ON SECOND THOUGHT, I WILL FORCE FEED YOU ALCOHOL SO YOU’LL DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING, NEXT I’LL CHOP YOUR BODY INTO PIECES, THEN I’LL PUT YOUR GIBS INTO A BLENDER, AND FINALLY I’LL PUT YOUR LIQUIFIED BODY INTO THE DUFF BEER I SERVE!!!  
Pacific Glow lulz

@FanOfMostEverything  
Moe: Moe’s Tavern, now with apple cider fresh from Sweet Apple Acres.  
Pacific Glow: I’m looking for a friend of mine. First initials I. M, middle name Marian, middle initials, N. N. T, last name Brony.  
Moe: Okay, I’ll go check. I. M. Marian N. N. T. Brony! I. M. Marian N. N. T. Brony! Hey, do any of y’all know I am marrying an anti-brony?  
Bar laughs  
Barney: You’re gonna bang someone who hates you for the TV show you watch?  
Moe: Hey, wait a minute! When I catch you someday, I will crush your eyes and your brain with my hands to kill you, then I’ll spike the meat I’ll make from you with the ecstasy in your blood, then I’ll force feed the ecstasy meat to your mother to make her fat as hell, unattractive, and diabetic!  
Pacific Glow: My name is Spoiled Rich and I live in 200 Princess Luna Avenue in Ponyville.  
Moe: Aha! Big mistake, pal! I knew you’d slip up sooner or later!

@Beau Skunky  
There is this one guy on YouTube, and Moe when he’s prank called reminds him of Ghost when he’s doing Twitter shoutouts.
 
Ghost: We’ve got Beau Skunky listening, nice to meet you, Beau Skunky. We have Pacific Glow in the house, hello Pacific Glow! We welcome DonaldTrumpIsAComm-OH MY FUCKING GOD, YOU “FEEL THE BERN, GIVE ME FREE MONEY” ASSHOLE! cans.wav GAH! TRUMP IS NOT A COMMUNIST! HE IS THE BEST CANDIDATE FOR PRESIDENT! cans.wav ENGINEER, DOX THAT GUY WITH BALLS EXPLORER ON PENIX, FOR CHRIST’S SAKE! AIN’T THERE AN AGE LIMIT!? HE’S LIKE 105 YEARS OLD, FOR CHRIST’S SAKE! AND WITH PENIX, I CAN TRACE YOUR IP TO CANADIA! CANADIA BOOED THE US NATIONAL ANTHEM ON 9/11! Anyway, what’s good, Bronies for Jill Stein!? DAMMIT DAMMIT DAMMIT DAMMIT! I TOLD YOU, NO MORE BRONIES ALLOWED IN TRUE CAPITALIST RADIO! THIS TIME, THEY ARE VOTING GREEN! cans.wav AIN’T NONVIOLENCE ONE OF THE THINGS THE GREEN PARTY BELIEVES IN!? THAT IMPLIES JILL STEIN WOULD HOST TEA PARTIES ALONG WITH PINKIE PIE, SCOOTALOO, TOOLA ROOLA, RAINBOW DASH, SWEETIE BELLE, CHEERILLE, AND STARSONG, FOR CHRIST’S SAKE! cans.wav THAT’S IT! I’M OUTTA HERE! cans.wav I AM DONE, DONE, DONE! GAH! cans.wav ENGINEER, END THIS BROADCAST NOW!
 
I literally read what I just wrote in Ghost’s voice. XD

@Pacific Glow  
Hehe, y’know you can find the “Tube Bar Pranks” on Youtube, and such. Louis “Red” Deutsch, is like the TCR Ghost of the ’70s.

@Beau Skunky  
I’m looking for my friend, Ms. Stits, first initial E, middle name Norme.

Y’know, Moe’s prank calls were actually based off the “Tube Bar prank calls” that were quite popular to listen to sense the ’70s. (Look ’em up on Youtube sometime.)

@Yorec  
Wait! How come Berry Punch is in Moe’s Tavern, Springfield?

@Ponehfreak4  
I agree.

XD HOW I MISSED THESE!

I see wut you did there.

Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash, best trolls ever :D

The Gumbles during a typical evening of marital bliss.

classic :D