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Shut up! (bonk)
Flying Fox of the Yard?!
Allow me to introduce myself. I’m Inspector Fox of the Light Entertainment Police, Comedy Division, Special Flying Squad.
Who are you, who is so wise in the ways of science?

your current filter.OP is a duck.
If OP is a duck, OP must weigh the same as a duck.
Therefore, OP unicorns are witches.