Bulk Biceps walked through the sliding doors into the lobby of Ponyville General Hospital. Had he been more observant, he would have noticed that the doors had been covered up with tin foil and duct tape. With his hay sandwich, wrapped in a paper bag in hand, he made his way to the break room. The dimming fluorescent lights were the only illumination. Much like the front door, every window had been covered in tin foil and duct tape.
 
It wasn’t all that bad, he thought. He saw many of the formerly bed ridden (and dying) patients were up and about. Eyes were all red though. He thought nothing of it. Besides, he was there to clean bedpans and mop floors.
 
The break room was empty save for Bulk Biceps and his destination: a mini fridge. With a soft click the fridge opened. He frowned as he saw there was no place for his sandwich. It was filled with IV bags filled with blood. He rummaged through, attempting to find some way to negotiate the sandwich into the fridge. No luck.
 
“Can I help you, Mr. Biceps?” Dr Horse said from the doorway.
 
Bulk biceps turned around to see Dr. Horse. In his doctor’s coat covered in bloody hand prints. He had the same crimson eyes as everyone else and pointy teeth protruding from his upper lip. The crimson liquid of life dripped from the edges of his lips.
 
“There’s no room in this fridge for my lunch.” Biceps said, holding up his paper bag lunch.
 
“Ah… I see. One moment, Mr Biceps…” Mr horse said, brushing past the hulking pegasus. He took three blood bags from the fridge. Bulk Biceps watched in amazement and horror as Dr Horse began to drink each one dry and throw the empty bag aside.
 
“That was a neat trick!” Bulk Biceps said enthusiastically.
 
“Yes… I need to show you that trick sometime.” Dr Horse said, avoiding eye contact with a smirk.
 
With his sandwich secured with the suspicious sanguine sap. Bulk Biceps began his day… er… noon? It was hard to tell with the windows covered up. But his first order of business was to start clearing bedpans.
 
On his way to the first room of the day, he passed a strange mare. A white unicorn mare with a curled mane who wore some lingerie. She looked like the one that went missing, what was her name… Larry… Harry… Rarity! That’s it!
 
In the first room was Thirty Pieces. An old unicorn who made the news for his many crimes, and many ‘mistrials.’ His own body, however, would not let him get away with his wicked ways forever, and he was afflicted with many tumors. Today, however, Thirty Pieces looked fifty years younger… and having the same crimson eyes.
 
“Hi Thirty Pieces! Pretty dark in here, let’s get you some sun!” Bulk Biceps said enthusiastically reaching for the tin foil covering the window, much to Thirty Pieces’ panic.
 
‘No that’s” were the only two words he could muster before the life giving sun, anathema to his kind, turned him to a pile of ash with a final anguished scream as his unholy form was purified.
 
Even a miniscule, steroid addled brain like Bulk Biceps could no longer deny the truth. Piecing together the clues, the blocked windows, the blood, the eyes, and the aversion to the sun…
 
Bulk Biceps ran out into the hall. The wretched creatures emerged from every doorway, staring at Bulk Biceps. They knew that he wasn’t one of them and he had learned what they were. Rarity, Emerald Luster, and a whole coterie of vamponies stood at the end of the hallway.
 
“Bulky, darling, you cannot possibly hope to stand against all of us? Join us, and I will make the most fabulous muscle wear for you!” Rarity chimed.
 
“OUT OF MY WAY YOU FUCKING CHANGELINGS!!!” Bulk biceps bellowed as he barreled toward the bewildered belligerents.
 
He plowed through the vamponies, like bowling pins being knocked over by a runaway bus.
 
He had grabbed Emerald Luster by the ankle and swung her around like a club, sending vamponies flying into the walls, not sending them through the front door by sheer luck. But each time the vamponies would rise, dust themselves off, and attack again.
 
For his monstrous size, he was still mortal and bound by the laws of flesh. After what felt like a good hour, Bulk Biceps could fight no more. Dr Horse sank his fangs into the fallen hulking pegasus and drained his blood.
 
Bulk Bicep had one last thought before slipping into the void: Dying tickled.
 

 
This is not an April fool’s joke. Elements of Nightfall is coming back. I’ve put it back in the slot list. I want to come back and finish it.
 
Does anyone know the tag for swinging a person into another person?