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“Its well known fact that Twinkies have an infinite shelf life. If you asked me secret to eternal life is a no brainier.” - Gimbal Lock
 
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Background Pony #E914
Ponies (and Diamond Dogs and Zebras) confirmed for being made out of rubber. May I suggest slapping Gimbal with a newspaper every time she comes up with one of her brilliant idea and then do the opposite of what she suggests? May save you a lot of pain.