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Ministry of Image - Fanfiction Printing

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It cost me a bobby pin, but the safe finally opened. (I would discover later, to my chagrin, that I could have just opened it via the terminal had I been more patient.)
 
 
Inside was a single package. Carefully, I pulled it out with my teeth and set it on the ground. I gave a tug on the drawstring with my teeth and it opened easily. I was stunned to see a statuette of a jaw-droppingly gorgeous white unicorn with a sensual purple mane and tail, and a darling three-gem cutie mark. (There were other things in the package too, but I totally forgot about them.)
 
 
“Are ya done visually molestin’ that statue, girl?” Calamity’s words disrupted my reverie. He looked impatient. I blushed hotly.
 
 
“She’s a looker, Ah’ll give ya that. But Ah’m guessin’ she wouldn’t much appreciate the way yer lookin’ at ‘er.”
 
 
“I was… just… looking…” I stammered, then focused all my energy to floating up the statue and slipping it into my bag. I knew I was risking burning myself out completely, but just had to keep her! And I didn’t want to risk marring the statuette with my teeth. The statuette trembled, not wanting to rise from the ground. Then I felt a surge of magical energy, and the statuette floated up gracefully. Whatever blessing this one had bestowed, it had rejuvenated my horn. Just a little, but enough to float the statuette and even Little Macintosh. I turned the hot, gorgeous mare around in the air until I could read the engraving.
 
 
“Be Unwavering!”

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Background Pony #9769
I think this is when calamity knew he wasn’t gonna get to fuck pip lmao