>be me  
>world’s greatest hacker  
>#1 on FBI’s most wanted list  
>but they can’t track me down because i always delete my browser history  
>just got done hacking entire internet  
>now every user in the world gets redirected to earthponiesmeet.com  
>epic lulz  
>one of my hackerbros messages me on AIM  
>tells me that 420_1337_h4x0r_420, my #1 hackerbro, has been arrested  
>they were able to backtrace his IP because he forgot to browse on incognito mode  
>word on the street is he’s already ratted me out  
>look out window  
>FBI helicopters circling overhead  
>hah! those bastards don’t know who they’re dealing with  
>open up internet explorer  
>get redirected to earthponiesmeet.com  
>oh yeah, forgot about that  
>run disableearthponiesmeet.exe  
>now it’s time for some world class hacking  
>go to fbi.gov/hack  
>****, there’s a password  
>something appears on the bottom right corner of my screen  
>it’s that goddamn talking paperclip  
>”it looks like you’re trying to hack the FBI. would you like help?”  
>**** off clippy, i’m trying to work here  
>”it looks like you’re trying to hack the FBI. would you-”  
>click the little ****er just to make him shut up  
>clippy gives me the password  
>guess he’s not so bad after all  
>now that i’m in, i go to fbi.gov/hack/helicopters  
>”congratulations, hacker!” you now have full control of the FBI’s helicopters! what would you like them to do?””  
>A) turn left B) turn right C) ascend D) descend E) explode”  
>go with option E  
>BOOM, baby  
>flaming helicopters fall from the sky  
>mfw  

You know you could just ask her what her favourite flowers are instead of trying to get into her Facebook account, Twi

“Oh hey, the feds have a file on you. And me. And the other me. At least one of those is getting a-digga-digga-deleted.”