When Equestria had them 40 thieves,  
Celestia had a thousand tales.  
But Flutters you’re luck, cause up your sleeve,  
You got a brand of magic that never fails.
 
You’ve got some power in your corner now,  
Some heavy ammunition in your seat.  
You’ve got some punch, pizzaz, yahoo and how.  
All you gotta do is come to me, and I’ll say:
 
“Mistress Fluttershy, ma’am!  
What will your pleasure be?  
Let me take your order, jot it down.”  
You ain’t never had a friend like me.
 
Life is your resturant,  
and I’m your maitre’d.  
Come on, whisper what it is you want.  
You ain’t never had a friend like me.
 
Yes ma’am, we pride ourselves on service.  
You’re the boss, the queen, the shah!  
Say what you wish; it’s yours true dish.  
How about a little more baklava?
 
Have some of column A,  
try All of column B.  
Just say the word, and I’ll help you girl!  
You ain’t never had friend like me.
 
[Instrumental Break]
 
Can your friends do this?  
Can your friends do that?  
Can your friends pull this?  
Out their little hat?  
Can your friends go *poof*?
 
Well looky here!  
Can your friends go,  
“Abracadabra, let it rip!”  
And then make the stuff disappear?
 
So don’t just sit there slack-jawed, buggy-eyed!  
I’m here to answer all your mid-day prayers!  
You’ve got me bona fide, certified!  
You’ve got a draco who charges no fair!
 
I’ve got a powerful urge to help you out!  
So what you wish? I really wanna know!  
You’ve got a list that’s three miles long, no doubt,  
Well all you’ve gotta do is speak up like so!
 
Mistress Fluttershy, ma’am,  
Have a wish, or two, or three.  
You’ve got the best!  
(Cute pegasus.)
 
You ain’t never had a friend, never had a friend,  
You ain’t never had a friend, never had a friend,  
You ain’t never…had a…friend…like ME!
 
You ain’t never had a friend like me!